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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you would date a guy who...

131 replies

NCMD · 10/05/2024 21:00

  • Has visited a brothel in the past and paid for services?
  • Does recreational drugs with friends every few months (weed, MDMA, mushrooms, coke)
  • Has a cross dressing fetish?

Interested to hear others thoughts on the above points to help me move on from being dumped by this guy.

YABU - Yes. I'd date him.
YANBU - No. You've dodged a bullet.

OP posts:
SweetFemaleAttitude · 10/05/2024 21:23

Jesus Christ. Raise your bar!! Work on yourself before you get with anyone else.

You deserve more!

If you wouldn't want your mum/friend/daughter dating a guy like this, why do you think it's okay for you!

tarheelbaby · 10/05/2024 21:22

Those behaviours do no appeal to me personally.

The key word here is 'date', as in go out a few times, maybe shag, but I think a man like that does not have conventional relationships so any expectations on your part, beyond a few interesting times, would be disappointing for you.

Did he think that the two of you were 'dating'?

It might have been exciting but I would not be expecting anything really.

Americano75 · 10/05/2024 21:21

Christ, mine just clamped shut in sympathy.

nimski · 10/05/2024 21:21

Absolutely no chance

marshmallowfinder · 10/05/2024 21:21

noworklifebalance · 10/05/2024 21:05

I mean this in the nicest possible way… but the F is wrong with you?!! Just look at the list you have written - no need to ask randoms on the internet

Maybe OP is the guy?

flipflopsalready · 10/05/2024 21:20

No throw that one back

ComfyButFrumpy · 10/05/2024 21:19

HE dumped you?
Wtf.

tighterthancramp · 10/05/2024 21:18

I'd run a mile. And I can't run!

Dennerfold · 10/05/2024 21:17

I’d cross the street to avoid for the first two points, the cross dressing wouldn’t bother me

Aquamarine1029 · 10/05/2024 21:16

I wouldn't consider him if he were literally the last man on earth. Your bar must be through the floor.

Merryoldgoat · 10/05/2024 21:16

Is this a bad joke?

ISeeTheLight · 10/05/2024 21:15

The drugs one, depending on which drugs and how often, would not put me off. But I'm from a country where it's legal.
The other 2 things hard no.
All 3 in the same man - run OP.

Hankunamatata · 10/05/2024 21:14

Not for me but it's whatever floats your boat and what future you are wanting

TheCadoganArms · 10/05/2024 21:12

Daily Mail slow news day?

LightSpeeds · 10/05/2024 21:11

No, sorry.

Msmumm · 10/05/2024 21:10

Jeeze. Absolute no. Raise your standards, he sounds like the dregs of humanity.

lordloveadog · 10/05/2024 21:10

Good grief woman

jumpingjacksss · 10/05/2024 21:10

He'll no

Purplecatshopaholic · 10/05/2024 21:09

The brothel would be it for me, that’s a hard no - wouldnt even get to the other two (which are less nasty but still not for me).

Candleabra · 10/05/2024 21:09

No to all three.

XenoBitch · 10/05/2024 21:07

Brothel... as long as it was in the distant past, then it would not bother me.
Drugs... once every few months would not bother me. If it was regularly, then yes. I have gone out with weed smokers, and they are so boring.
Cross dressing... as long as it was not when we were out together, then I would not care.

But that is me though. I most certainly have my own red flags, so I tend not to judge too much.

yelrac · 10/05/2024 21:07

Trash took itself out didn't it. Byeeee.

noworklifebalance · 10/05/2024 21:05

I mean this in the nicest possible way… but the F is wrong with you?!! Just look at the list you have written - no need to ask randoms on the internet

HateMyNewJobSoMuch · 10/05/2024 21:05

I’m genuinely concerned that you feel the need to even ask! Is your bar really that low?

Each of those in complete isolation would be an automatic no. Absolutely no thought process required.

StormingNorman · 10/05/2024 21:03

What a prize.