To think actually, kids DO cost a lot!

Children are flipping expensive and yup I think 2 children are more expensive of course. Possibly not twice as expensive but…:

2 sets of school uniform (can have some hand me downs but tbh my children ruin clothes pretty quickly and have different shoe widths).

days out cost more

people less keen to babysit/ help o it with 2 children than 1

2 lots of outside of school clubs, hobbies to coordinate driving to etc.

they eat loads!

holidays for 4 compared to holidays for 3….

you can Do it more cheaply but if you’re used to aboard holidays, doing certain things and then can’t do them again for a really long time because you have 2 children it could make you pretty miserable tbh.

Also I think it’s generally easier to just do stuff with 1 child tagging along. 2 children everything revolves around them if that makes sense.

My parents had 4 and always say this to me, which is frustrating because I remember being a child / teenager and frequently having much less than my friends, being unable to go on trips etc.

I have two - ages 4 and 1. Two is definitely more expensive - food, clothes and shoes, nursery fees, costs of holidays or days out. It all adds up!

We are also already starting to plan for the future - uni, cars / driving lessons etc and obviously - two means double the savings than one.

Finances are the sole reason we haven't / won't have a third!

I think you can't make the decision to have one or two kids based purely on finances. The benefits of your dc having a sibling and to you as parents may well be worth the financial sacrifices.

I say that as a parent of an only child.

I'd wait and see how it goes having one baby as it is very hard to imagine what that's like until they are here.

Plus I do agree to an extent that baby's and kids are as expensive as you make them. I was always happy to accept second hand baby things, clothes etc. Even as a teen dd hasn't cost me loads as she's had a pt job since she was 16yo so has paid for her own driving lessons.

I was one and done.. childcare costs alone with 2 parents working full time was enough to make it entirely impossible to afford more!

We didn’t do any activities, couldn’t do anything on weekends, our clothes were from market (cheapest possible) no computer for years. It was shit and boring. Tbf it was probably also about what kind of people my parents are.

Kids are expensive and they only get more expensive but I’m very conscious of DD having access to things I didn’t, it’s really important to me that she gets to try new things.

It's the big bits that make a difference. Two of you - nice little flat is fine. 3 kids - house with a garden oh and it needs to be near a nice school. Childcare in the early years is expensive and then uni later on.
If people get down in the weeds with cost of clothes and karate lessons it's easy to see why they think kids are cheap!
We cut out a LOT of discretionary spending tk have kids - we'd go for nice cars and restaurants, buy expensive clothes (still high street, not designer but from the "naice" shops)
We don't miss it, sounds a bit wet but our priorities changed and our lives are rich in other ways.

In theory yes dental treatment is free. I've also found myself going private for a child. And a similar amount of money.

The NHS wait would have been at least 9mths, but kid was in pain, what do you do, let them suffer or splash the cash?

I get the cost of stuff for residential, my DC we didn't know anyone we could borrow, rain jacket, waterproof trousers, from other stuff was joggers and jumpers/ hoodies, water shoes.

Emergency dental? Dentist is free for children. New work shoes that's not a normal parent cost but nice of you to do so, List of things to take in residential - how niche a trip was it that you couldn't borrow or already have the stuff.
Driving insurance again nice to pay for it but usually teens pay out of their part time jobs.
The passport and the residential trip part are the only standard costs. And both of those are annual at most or five yearly.

Some things you can choose to not make a difference - ie we go camping in France for holidays so dd2 doesn't really cost much extra at all. But I want to go to the US next year and 4x flights is eye watering.

Yes childcare, that's always going to double / triple / quadruple in line with the number of dc. I do get a discount on the clubs they both do for the second child! Again though, that's a choice, you could not do any clubs at all if you didn't want to.

My two are 2 years apart and dd2 is almost as big as dd1 so handing down clothes hasn't happened for a couple of years. Shoes have to be new anyway.

Children have a huge impact on finances, from the size of your house to the groceries, clothes, trips, not to mention (in my case) the fact that I quit my "career" (didn't enjoy it anyway) and have worked pt for 16 years.

It depends what sort of life you want. I am one of six so went without and was dammed if I was going to be a poor adult and have kids who had to go without.

Our DS has been able to try any hobby he wants and has been on many lovely holidays. As a teen we took him on two cruises and when around 12 we travelled round America for a month. We will be giving him a substantial deposit when he wants to buy a house, he just doesn’t know it yet.

I remember the year his feet grew an entire size in a month just after new shoes and football boots were bought. So two pairs of school shoes, two pairs of trainers, two grass football boots and two Astro turf boots within six weeks.

I think it's expensive.
Let's just say the conversation with DH goes like this...
Shall we fit an extra weekend away at a caravan with the kids in August. Oh damn. Uniforms. Bloody uniforms.

The four year old costs little, older son, still ok.
Teenage girl. OMFG.
To be fair she's very good with trying to be frugal and getting the best value. They do become brand conscious and eat loads.

We try to put money away for them all for when they are 18. Abroad holidays are every 5 years it seems and cost a fortune. Our car is shit but it does the job. The residentials add on a significant cost. Over the last two years I don't even want to think about how much we've spent.

My DM agreed with that statement. Beans on toast for dinner, jumble sale for clothes.
Day out was a picnic, a sandwich wrapped in paper , weak warm orange squash.
DGD expects a five star buffet packed into a very stylish picnic basket with fresh juice and Perrier . Everything instaworthy.

Kids do cost a lot.
Preschool they are expensive because of childcare costs. There is a sweet spot in the primary school years up to 12/13 when they are relatively low cost creatures.
Then they grow into expensive animals, more expensive to clothe and feed. They need adult priced shoes 👞 for growing feet. They are no longer really content with wander to the local park. So days out are pricy. Holidays become paying for another adult.

I look at older colleagues the people who can afford early retirement are those without kids.
Would I swap? No!

I am the eldest of a large family born to parents who thought that all they needed to provide was basic food and clothing, because they themselves had been raised in poverty . It was a miserable way to grow up. My first lesson was ‘Never ask for anything because the money isn’t there. Be content with nothing.’

I think there is an element of you can spend as much as you like. I’ve got two kids ( and two step kids but I don’t fund them) my kids do £500 of extra clubs etc a month, each. That’s a choice I make though, if I couldn’t afford it , I’d have to say no. trainers are £100 a pair at least now they are both in adult sizes. ( I can’t believe there is a poster on here that has 11/12 year olds that will still wear own brand! ) clothes are cheaper now as they don’t grow so fast ( we went through so many clothes when they were smaller and rarely handed down, they just aren’t the same people!) but I easily spend £200 a month each on clothes and stuff.

one of my daughters is ND and I funded all private diagnoses for her as well as therapy etc. I would have struggled to do that X2.

they both have trust funds for cars when they turn 18. I doubt they will both go to uni but I’ll absolutely deal with that as and when ( and ensure they both have the same financial support regardless of choices )

Yes, each child costs more money but your lifestyle also has a huge impact on how much that is. If you are a sahm for one, then the childcare penalty is irrelevant for subsequent children. If you were already in a home with more bedrooms than people, you aren't looking at a moving house penalty. Ditto for larger cars. Furniture/ toys/bikes/clothes can roll down to younger children for the most part. Obviously day to day living expenses kick it but it's small beans after the above.

Some people don't see the same value in expensive hobbies and tutoring, etc. And the parental contribution for uni is linked to earnings and low earners, more likely in a single worker household, don't have to contribute at all, although their children will carry the burden with additional debt.

So, I can see how, for some, subsequent children aren't the heavy weight on finances that they are for others.

Absolutely, if everyone had to pay every penny of the cost of raising a child from their own income, there would be fewer children. And that isn't a dig at anyone, just a statement of fact.

Of course more kids cost more. Daycare, obviously, clothing (nappies!), food, the dozen parties they'll all be invited to every year when young (and you have to host in turn). Extra seats on flights for holidays, fees for music lessons, sports etc etc.
And as mentioned upthread - university! My DD will get quite close to max maintenance loan but that won't cover her catered halls for the first year. My son decided against uni - if they were both going at the same time it would be tricky indeed.

That's the point I think, really.

It can only be true if it's including the contribution everyone else makes towards the cost of raising the child in the form of taxes funding benefits and tax breaks.

The average salary doesn't come close to being able to cover an extra ~£10k per year so it's nonsense.

Very small children don't cost much.

Teenagers cost a blooming fortune, with their massive trainers and appetites and hoodies and music lessons and counting as adults when you go on holiday.

4.3 million kids in the UK live in poverty
Most of them will have been born to parents that thought you only need a loving home.
So unless you want your children to be another statistic for society to lament over, then it is very sensible to consider the costs.

It depends on what you're expectations are

We don't go on all inclusive abroad holidays anymore we go to heaven and Butlins, I'm ok with that for now

We buy a lot of second hand clothes. When DD was a baby 90% of her clothes were second hand or gifted and when I was done with them I would sell them, then use the money towards more second hand clothes.

We don't eat out very often and if we do it's carefully done

We meal plan everything

We live in a small house but make it work to keep costs low

We don't have a really nice car

I was able to breastfeed, saved loads on bottles/dummys/prep machines/formula etc

Lots of other things too. I don't work at the moment, we only have one child with one on the way and DP only earns £38K but I do have some small savings from when I was made redundant which we use to top up with. We own our own house and cars.

I agree OP, they are expensive. I have 3 school aged children and 1 baby. In the last month alone I’ve had £60 on school dinners, £34 for a bike at school day for the younger 2, £66 for a trip for the younger 2, £80 on 2 trips for the eldest.
Thats just school. They all do extra curriculars for which they have subs, kit, comps which all cost more.
I feel extremely fortunate that we’re able to provide these things but everything is constantly going up. Our monthly food bill is more than our mortgage.

Plus when they are older. I never got any financial help so I want to help mine.
One of mine wants to do a 5 year degree. The loans don't cover everything so potentially I'm going to end up paying his rent for 5 years. That will be a big struggle for me but I want to do it so I will. I couldn't do it for 2 children. I do have 2 children but the other one doesn't want to go to uni. I have helped him with other things financially.
I know a family of 7 kids. All nice people but it one of them desperately needs a hand the mum can't help as she can't do it for 7 people. There isn't a dad so I'm not just blaming the mum.
So you can have as many kids as you want but the more you have the less you can give each one. They may get benefits of having a sibling or they may not.