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Original poster

I want to cut off my sister

107 replies

jellywelly467 · 10/05/2024 11:20

We’re 1 year apart and have completely different lives. Shes career focused, I’m a mum of 3 and a sahm (which I’m happy with, I’ve always wanted children this isn’t a jealousy thing). I feel very sad about how she treats my children, she isn’t at all interested in them and makes zero effort to see them. She met my brand new baby last week after he’d been in special care and she was so disinterested. Didn’t ask how I felt, didn’t ask how he was doing, only asked to hold him after I’d said to my mum ‘see she’s more interested in strangers dogs than her own nephew’ so assuming my mum made a comment to her (we met at a park for context, she walked metres ahead majority of the time and stopped random people to stroke their dogs and ignored the kids most of the time). I get not everyone likes kids, that’s fine, but fuck me it’s an hour or two just fake it? I’m not interested in career chat but I still asked about her work and her recent interview etc because I have basic manners

I just feel like blocking her on everything. If we weren’t related by blood I would not even know her or have contact at all so why fake it because we’re sisters

OP posts:
Allfur · 10/05/2024 11:40

I never expected anyone to be interested in my kids

5128gap · 10/05/2024 11:40

I understand you're hurt, but there's no need to escalate it into a big dramatic 'cut off' that will cause even more upset, surely? If you've nothing in common and don't enjoy her company, can't you just let things alone, see her when necessary at family gatherings, and focus your attention on the other people in your life? I get you want to make a gesture to show her how angry and upset you are, but believe me, the ongoing hassle from her reacting and your poor mum in the middle really isn't worth it. Enjoy your baby. Lifes too short for this stuff.

Hoppinggreen · 10/05/2024 11:39

A lot of people prefer dogs to children.
I have to pretend to be interested in other peoples kids, including most family ones so I suppose at least shes being honest.
Your kids are amazing TO YOU
No reason at all to go NC unless shes actively nasty to them

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 10/05/2024 11:34

She's not obliged to pay attention to your kids. Not everyone is comfortable around kids. I understand being disappointed, but cutting her off is a bit extreme. You can't force her to be interested in your kids. Why not try meeting up just you and her without your kids. Go and do a spa day together or something like that. Maybe she feels like your children dominate everything. I was a very attentive auntie before I had my own children (and still am), but some people just really aren't comfortable around kids at all.

jumpingjacksss · 10/05/2024 11:34

I would be wary about going no contact but I do see where you're coming from and yes she could have faked it especially after a difficult birth etc. Maybe just keep her at arms length

Valid8me · 10/05/2024 11:27

Just go low contact, no need to block or cut off completely.

You are obviously very different people, you don't have to get on just because you are sisters. I mean, I don't really like other people's kids either and wouldn't really be interested beyond greeting them initially and as for holding a baby - no thanks!

MidnightPatrol · 10/05/2024 11:26

This sounds a bit dramatic TBH OP.

People generally don’t care about others kids.

Between mind and DH’s many siblings… I can’t remember any of them asking after my child. None have expressed an interest in visiting to see them.

People generally don’t care about others kids - particularly if they don’t have any themselves. I know that feels strange when they are so important to you.

If you don’t have much in common, I’m sure if you don’t arrange to see each other it just won’t happen.

And then you avoid the drama of ‘blocking her’ and upsetting your mum etc.