I want to cut off my sister

I completely agree and am going to steal that appendectomy line for the future!

I'm not remotely interested in accounting - surely the dullest of all careers - but I pretend to be very interested for the sake of my SIL, who is an accountant. And I genuinely am interested in how a career in accounting affects my SIL and her life, because I care about my SIL.

You're getting a hard time on here because it's motherhood related, op. If you'd come on and said "I just had an appendectomy and my sister hasn't even asked how it went" I doubt you'd get lots of condescending replies saying "oh but you see OP, your internal organs might be important to you but they're not interesting to anyone else"

I would go low contact.

All the people don't care about other people's kids thing is just some weird Mumsnet nonsense. It is completely normal to love and care about your niece and nephews

I’m amazed at how many people here think it’s okay for OP’s sister to not ask a single question about her newborn nephew who’s had health issues. OP isn’t asking for her sister to fawn over the baby - she just wants a sign that her sister gives a single solitary fuck about this child’s well-being, and, by extension, his mother’s.

”How’s he doing, now that he’s out of special care?” is a bog-standard small-talk courtesy. Add that to the sister’s hostile reaction to OP’s kids even being mentioned, and no wonder OP wants to cut her off.

i wouldn’t cut her off, OP, but I wouldn’t get in touch with her. You can see her at larger family events and say a few words and leave it at that.

I imagine the OP wants to cut contact completely as she feels so hurt and doesn't want to feel like she's waiting around for her sister to be interested ...

Sorry OP, it does sound very upsetting, but I think in the long run a big family drama will be more upsetting for you (and for your Mum).

@jellywelly467 - as other posters have said, there is no need for a dramatic Going No Contact, blocking her on everything move. Just stop making the effort to try to get her involved in your life and your children's lives. Let her make any contact, or suggest any meet-ups, while you concentrate on spending time with your family and friends.

Basically, the more you fret or worry or obsess about her, the more space she will take up in your head - and you don't want to let her live there rent free. If you take the focus off her and her behaviour, and onto things that make you happy, like your children, your cousin and your good friends, you will be happier - and that is what matters.

(Oh and re my previous point, have you tried speaking to her about it first, at a time when you aren’t upset and can be calm? Just explaining as here that it feels one sided, she may not be interested in your kids but it would be nice if she was interested in you (which may involve chat about kids as they are part of your life). She may be utterly blind as to how her behaviour is coming across).

I agree with you OP, there is a basic level of interest and concern that is to be expected with friends and family and even rarely seen acquaintances.

I have a sibling who has hobbies and interests I have no interest at all in. I still make a point of asking about things in their life and what they have coming up.

Your sister sounds rude and almost like she is trying to make some point by refusing to acknowledge you even have children. Of course it's hurtful, she isn't showing you and your family the basic amount of respect or care.

I wouldn't fall out with her over this, but neither would I seek out her company.

She’s just not that into you.

As someone who has now been NC with a sibling due to us both having our own issues (and faults), the fall out can be immense across the wider family. It doesn’t sound like you’ve much of a relationship. But with hindsight (if everything had not blown up repeatedly) I’d just go LC. Don’t bother calling, don’t arrange meet ups, just say hi and ‘pass the salt’ etc when with family. Don’t bother asking questions if she doesn’t ask you any, or take any interest in her life. Write off the relationship yourself mentally, but without making a drama. It’s much easier.

A lot of people saying that people who don't have kids are not interested in kids, or nobody is interested in other people's kids, etc. This is a bit of a massive generalisation. I don't have kids, but enjoy spending time with them and I'm interested in children.
To be honest I think your sister is being rude (especially if you are asking about her job etc) and rather unkind. At the very least, she could pretend to take an interest in them from time to time, and then she might surprise herself by actually getting to like them.

she walked metres ahead majority of the time

Yes this is rude regardless of any new baby situation.

But other people's babies aren't interesting. I don't expect my sisters to be that interested in my children.

What will her sister be losing out on?

This is really annoying.

Not everyone who does not have kids/says they dislike kids have fertility problems or issues with jealousy. Quite the opposite.

Some people genuinely do not want children, and it's insulting and shortsighted when people always suggest it's an infertility/jealousy thing.

I also feel that whilst I would note this behaviour, I would not obsess over it. I would not over invest in the relationship, as an adult, I would accept it and not throw a tantrum or look for validation, as none is needed, really. Just accept that people are different , do not have to be interested in your offspring. I know plenty of people who admit freely they prefer animals over humans (actually, look at the state of the world thanks to humans, we do not have a great track record, really. But that's besides the point). Just do not do more than she does towards you, so there's equal exchange of energy.

OP, you have a young baby and must have crazy hormones but it's ok if she's not besotted with your kids. You're just different people. No need to cut her out because your lives are different

Lots of women do profess a dislike of children & maintain a list of reasons not to have them when they're experiencing fertility issues. It's a self-protection thing & not uncommon.

Honestly, from what you've said it sounds like she struggled being around your family emotionally.

I think it would be extreme to go no contact over this. Some people really aren't that interested in other people's babies. I remember when my own nieces and nephews were born I pretty much felt nothing for the babies. Don't get me wrong. I was excited and happy for my brothers but I felt nothing for the babies. As the children grew older and became little people, then I bonded with them and I hope I'm a nice aunt to them. They're lovely kids. I really don't think I could have faked interest in a newborn baby for two whole hours!
Having said that, as your son had been in special care then yes, she should have been interested in his health and asked how you're doing. It must have been very traumatic for you.

She sounds like a bit of a knob to me.
It's not 'other people's kids', it's her bloody nieces and nephews being discussed!
To be honest, she sounds performatively anti child....look at me, I'm so special, I couldn't possibly lower myself to take an interest in a child.
Everyone was a child once, regardless of whether people have children or not I'm sure they can imagine how hurtful it would be as a child to be completely ignored for no reason other than not being 18.
I wouldn't cut her off, I would tell her she is being a complete dick and then hopefully she will flounce off herself to do something far more important than take an interest in her family 🤷‍♀️

God - you just dont like her, thats all, cut her then! Why are you looking for validation from us? She doesn't have to ask over your kids, she has zero interest in them - some people are just not that way inclined. Is it a reason to cut her? I think its harsh but who cares what i think?! If the not asking after your kids is a dealbreaker - then fine. Cut her off.

Weird how you've perked up when people called your sister a bitch. She hasn't been bitchy, just uninterested.

Blocking her is extreme, just don't message her or arrange to see her.

My son was 18 months old until sister 2 came to visit. She only did becau my mother made a comment. Neither of my sisters have children, are not the least child orientated and have never held them, looked after them on any level. However, they sent Christmas gifts and enquire after them. Personally am not that into other people's children either. It's no big deal - its just how they are. I don't think your situation is worth cutting her off - she may be excellent fun auntie when your child is a tween or teen.

Sounds like they are just a bit awkward about kids and dont get it / how hard it is for you.
You cant expect your sister to have a personality transplant unfortunately, some people just can't see past the end of their own nose with being rude and are mentally focused with their own problems. Of course your sister should comfort you and ask how your new baby is but I would mentally lower your expectations from her and focus on relationships that are supportive. Cutting off is extreme - think future xmas dinners / family birthdays

I think you sound just as uninterested in her as she is in you.
Sounds like neither of you would mind if you were out of touch.
So why not discreetly decrease contact and you may find everyone is happier?
I think there is a stage of motherhood when you can't believe that others can't see how glorious your wee babby is. I remember that - it's a bit like being in a cult; nature builds us that way I think.
I now see how little most people care, and that's fine with me.

I wasn't interested in kids before I had them. Some people don't get it at all. And maybe she doesnt have good social skills. Also she doesn't have kids and you don't know why.

I'd still see her for limited times and accept that.

I wouldn't fall out over it. Unless she was horrid to the kids, then I'd be having a word, that's different.