I want to cut off my sister

Is this the other side of the 'I'm embarrassed by my sister' thread?!

But she did make an effort because she did come and see you and your kids..!?

I dont have kids im just not that type of person.
You both choose what you wanted in life.
You love your kids they are your world but they are not hers.
She dont have to show any interest in children even yours.
Cutting someone off because they wont play up to the part is childish.
I have 7 nieces and nephew and im not interested in them as much as the parents are.
You sound a bit immature and slightly jealous thb.
When i hear a family member or a friend is having another baby all i say is oh she pregnant again.

I don’t think you should go as far as cutting her off, as I’m sure it’ll be perceived as being dramatic, but just match her energy. If she’s not investing time and interest in you, don’t with her, allow her to lead on making plans etc.

Sounds like she's just not interested in children, and hasn't felt the need to fake interest to appease you.
Just let the relationship slide into the ether without the dramatics of blocking. It doesn't sound like either of you are interested in pursuing it.

Block her then. Just because you are siblings doesnt mean she'll be interested in your life or kids. I have zero interest in my nieces and nephews.

It sounds like your lives have gone in different directions and you have very different priorities. From her perspective, she probably thought she was making an effort by coming to see you and the baby (I'm not saying she's in the right). Did she bring a gift? I used to feel really awkward holding people's babies before I had my own.

As others have said, just quietly let her drift from your priorities since you're clearly not one of hers. It's hurtful but I find relationships really change when you have kids. You get closer to some people and others who aren't interested drift away.

Do you show any interest in her life, OP?

Nothing to be jealous of, is there? The sister is already happy, adding a husband and unwanted kids is unlikely to make her ecstatic.

She sounds rude and selfish, I wouldn't bother going no contact as it will just case drama. I wouldn't bother messaging her or keeping in contact in anyway though

I suspect there’s a lot more to the story. Her behaviour seems extreme for someone who simply doesn’t like children.

If she doesn't have children she may have no clue about the things you are so worked up about. I can say that before my dc, I had zero interest or no clue about anything baby related when around friends/family with dc. I literally never thought about meeting up around nap times because I thought a baby could sleep anywhere. You sound highly dramatic.

I think she sounds awful. She is firmly attached to her 'I never want to have kids' status and isn't even going to budge for own family. In fact, she wants to take every opportunity to enforce it.

You can accept her for that but it looks like she can't accept you for who you are.
It would be better to just go low contact and forget your expectations of her being interested in you or your family.

But some do, some genuinely mean it. No way of telling.
But probably worth the op being aware it's a possibility.

OP, I was waiting to hear how you've shown interest in her life. Have you asked her how her career is going? Do you know if she's struggling with workload or colleagues? Have you invited her out for drinks just you and her, without your children in tow - maybe in a few mo ths' time when you feel up to it? It's a 2-way street.

I think that despite her protestations about not wanting children she probably envies you your life. Is she in a relationship? Most people, when they are that nasty, it is because of jealousy. She probably envies you your husband, children and happy life. Probably not even admitting it to herself.

Before actually cutting her off, cut her off emotionally. Stop expecting anything meaningful from her and just see her at family gatherings - be civil but don't volunteer stuff about your life. See how that goes.

She does seem mean not to even ask if you are OK after having the baby and him having been in scbu.

The only thing I wonder is whether she is jealous that you have dc.

She sounds rude and is probably quite self-centred. My sibling has never shown any interest whatsoever in my children. I've just accepted it. I don't really find it especially baffling or hurtful though and I wouldn't consider cutting him off. We're fairly low contact I suppose because we just have very different lives with very different priorities.

I would be very hurt by this. I was in my 20s and full throttle in my career when one of my sisters had three kids. I wasn't a baby person at all but obviously I doted on my nieces and nephew, they're now in their late teens and we are bonded for life. My five year old now adores both my sisters which is wonderful. Your sister has missed out big time in my view, with kids you get what you put in.

I do wonder if she's protesting a bit too loudly at not wanting kids though? Something sounds off to me.

What’s her situation? 9 times out of 10 someone who actively talks about how awful it would be to have children is masking that they really do want them but are unable to have them. My friends who genuinely don’t want children don’t talk about it all the time! However I do have single friends who have missed the fertility boat and tell me how shit being a parent is. I just nod along even though I don’t agree (I love being a mum) because they are in pain. It wouldn’t be ok for me to tell them that I think life without kids would be awful for me because that’s something that is a reality for them.

Something has stopped you from going ahead and blocking her and something has made you seek opinions here. You are understandably hurt and angry but don’t act on that right now, give it a few weeks and se how you feel then. Just resign yourself to the fact she is unlikely to ever engage with your children or you in conversations about them.

Unless she is hiding something like fertility issues or her partner refuses to have children, her behaviour is a bit extreme for just not liking children.

But our siblings are the people who will be in our lives/know us the longest which can be a good thing. If in a few weeks you decide it isn’t, cut her off then

It can be hard to adjust when someone close to you has kids and you're no longer the most important person in their lives. And for people who don't like children it can be really, really exhausting having to Perform Interest when there isn't really any. This is something you chose for yourself and she probably feels a bit annoyed about it (I know this isn't reasonable but since when were humans reasonable).

Honestly, I don't love my nieces and nephews. Is this weird? Maybe it is. I'm glad their parents are happy, though, and I definitely ask how they are getting on, show interest in their lives etc.

I'm sorry op but you being Abit ott on this. Just go low contact... Your sister doesn't have to be interested in your children just like you don't have to be interested in her life. Low contact and see how it goes. So pleased baby is home x

Haha go for it @Mousielane

Another analogy - I'm sure I read something along these lines on a similar thread once;

OP, you remind me of my friend who cut me off when I didn't ask her how she was doing when her grandmother died. What she obviously, selfishly in fact, fails to understand is that other people's OAPs just aren't interesting 🤷‍♀️

Perhaps she’s got other stuff in her life that she’s finding hard. People don’t always share that stuff.