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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Favourite MN suggestions

42 replies

MoominPyjamas · 10/05/2024 07:28

Obviously there's always 'could you start an ironing business?'
New faves are:
Would a lodger be an option? (random man moves into your family home with small children. Why would they want to? I mean it must be most people's idea of hell. Not to mention the trauma for the kids of daddy moving out and then a strange man moving in who doesn't eat with us but is upstairs, playing music and having loud phone conversations)

Could you get a less challenging job? (To someone struggling with a huge mortgage and huge workload)
On the flip side 'could you not get a better paid job?' Why didn't I think of that? Here I am being a sous chef when I could be a solicitor, what a dick I am.

What about an au pair? (Where from??)

Would you consider a nanny? (To a band 5 single parent nurse)

Could you ask one of the parents at your school to help? (please approach Tania who hasn't spoken to you since the bake sale of 22 to commit to picking your two children up every Thursday for the rest of time until a place on bloody afterschool club comes up, and sit back to read Tania not so subtly blast you as a CF on Mumsnet)

'Could their dad do more?' (well yes of course their dad could do more, pretty much all dad's everywhere could always bloody do more, that's why they're not posting their woes on the internet, they aren't worrying about it)

Also the expectation that everyone is working from home all the time so should be fitting in their ten hours of HIIT a week unless you're in a profession which they really need to speak to such as travel insurance in which case how very dare you and get back to the office.

OP posts:
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Talkamongstyourselves · 10/05/2024 18:56

"Just get a bus"....erm what bus?
"Get a taxi"....nope not at £23 for a 7 mile journey thanks

scalt · 10/05/2024 16:09

Show him this thread.

Why did you have children with him?

JudgeJ · 10/05/2024 16:04

NancyPickford · 10/05/2024 14:42

"My fit and healthy 50-year-old DM is being a real arse to me, she's nasty and mean."
MN suggestion: "Could it be dementia?"

But in the MN world no-one is ever simply a nasty piece of work, there is always a good reason!

ViveLaOeuf · 10/05/2024 15:59

All physical and mental health problems on MN are caused by neurodivergence, perimenopause (for women, obvs) or a combination of the two.

NonPlayerCharacter · 10/05/2024 15:26

I've actually never seen the legendary MN spa day suggestion. I don't think it exists!

PermanentIyExhaustedPigeon · 10/05/2024 15:14

"where's their father in all of this?" - if I knew how to make that prick step up do you really think I'd be agonising over how to manage without his input?

SpringerFall · 10/05/2024 15:13

Any tiny annoyance like "dh dropped a teabag onto the floor and forgot to pick it up"

It's a redflag, he is gaslighting you I would leave

"I dropped a tea bag onto the floor and dh got slightly annoyed"

Well he should go immediately to the shops and buy you 20 packets to make up for it and then get you a nanny

PermanentIyExhaustedPigeon · 10/05/2024 15:13

"move somewhere cheaper" said to everyone struggling with ridiculous rent but has to live where they do for their job

"move to somewhere with more jobs" said to everyone who is struggling to find work/enough work in the cheap area they have to live in because it's what they can afford

takealettermsjones · 10/05/2024 15:13

My favourite is when OP posts something about parenting, and then the replies are along the lines of "or you could teach your children to behave? You're the parent, SO PARENT" usually accompanied by "MY children never even tried doing this because I WOULD NOT STAND FOR IT" and a bit of "this is why kids these days are smacking their teachers/sniffing glue/robbing B&M stores, because nobody listens to meeee"

Perpetualpotion · 10/05/2024 15:10

Lose weight by accompanying everything with a “massive salad”.

Be careful to ensure it is massive, and not just large, or even just extra large.

SpringerFall · 10/05/2024 15:09

LargeSquareRock · 10/05/2024 08:46

Broke, stressed and exhausted with no childcare?

Have a spa day.

The world is about to end

Have a spa day

Sunnyday777 · 10/05/2024 15:08

Book a spa day when your husband who never lifts a finger gets back from his golf trip because of course he’s going to drop everything and take off the children. That’s exactly what the op was about, him being a lazy arse!
And don’t even get me started on the old Can you sell anything on vinted? Seriously, do you think this person who can’t afford to buy food has a wardrobe full of stuff that can be sold on vinted?? And do you really think this is the fastest way for them to get help?

MariaVT65 · 10/05/2024 15:03

Projectme · 10/05/2024 08:39

Why don't you move OP? That's the best option for you (hmmm ok, costing £££ in fees alone, uprooting myself and my kids away from all friends/family...)

In all fairness though, I do get slightly annoyed at all the posters who make the decision to live rurally, then moan that their partner is away a lot because they have a long commute to work and they can’t find any childcare.

NonPlayerCharacter · 10/05/2024 15:00

Most texts or emails drafted for an OP to send are pretty amazing.

EmilyTjP · 10/05/2024 14:51

OP describes working hard to get to where she is over many years, good salary, loves her job but someone joins the company and OP is having problems with them. People reply saying “find a new job”. 🤦🏼‍♀️
errr like it’s so easy to just leave a job and walk into a new one!

NancyPickford · 10/05/2024 14:42

"My fit and healthy 50-year-old DM is being a real arse to me, she's nasty and mean."
MN suggestion: "Could it be dementia?"

labracadabras · 10/05/2024 14:36

Oh many.

The question are they ND for any sort of teen / rude / aggressive behaviour and to get an assessment. An assessment here is 3 years plus.

MagpiePi · 10/05/2024 14:34

MoominPyjamas · 10/05/2024 10:24

@MermaidEyes I looked after someone's two year old at 13 whilst she did crack in the back room. She paid me in fags. It was definitely a less enlightened time!

I bet you were allowed to give the toddler grapes that hadn’t been cut up and let them walk around with a stick lolly in their mouth too. 😱

MagpiePi · 10/05/2024 14:32

thenewaveragebear1983 · 10/05/2024 09:16

Someone suggested to me yesterday that if I was 5’4 and 40 yrs old and wanted to lose 2 stone, I should eat 1900 calories a day and “eventually” I would be 9 stone.

I’m 5’7 and 40 yrs old, and 1900 is my maintenance amount for my current weight which includes a lot of exercise, so if I was both shorter and trying to lose weight, by following her advice I would actually be gaining weight.

sometimes you just have to nod and smile…..

never in real life would you meet such a range of experts all in one place at the same time.

‘Are you eating enough protein?’

Because protein magically stops you snacking and instantly melts flab and turns into lean muscle.

WhatNoRaisins · 10/05/2024 10:57

I can imagine leaving a toddler with a known and trusted teenage family friend but some random teen you've somehow found? It doesn't seem like something you'd actually do these days.

Kneidlach · 10/05/2024 10:32

Or there’s the often trotted out opposite of a suggestion of what to do.

Namely that the person OP is complaining about might be neurodivergent and so you shouldn’t do anything as they can’t help being rude/anxious/inconsiderate/insert any emotion of your choice.

Anyway, surely if ‘that’ many people are neurodivergent then it’s not divergent at all?

MermaidEyes · 10/05/2024 10:29

@MoominPyjamas Jesus 😬

MoominPyjamas · 10/05/2024 10:24

@MermaidEyes I looked after someone's two year old at 13 whilst she did crack in the back room. She paid me in fags. It was definitely a less enlightened time!

OP posts:
MermaidEyes · 10/05/2024 10:15

WhatNoRaisins · 10/05/2024 09:22

The suggestions of finding "a local teen" to do childcare or some other errands. Where do you find these teenagers, advert at the secondary schools?

I don't know anyone who would leave some random teenager babysitting their young kids these days. I mean, we all did it back in the 80s and 90s for pocket money, but looking back it wasn't ideal. I used to go round with my friend to her babysitting job and we'd just sit there watching telly while the under 5s were up to god knows what!

MoominPyjamas · 10/05/2024 10:04

@WhatNoRaisins MN is wild, don't you dare leave your eleven year old alone for 15 minutes but leave a 16 in charge of your two year old all day!

OP posts: