Do Italians hate the English or is it the language barrier?

We've been to Rome and the Amalfi coast and had lovely helpful service. In fact people were super nice especially to my 10 year old
DS who they joked with and made a huge fuss of. Teen DD bought a dress in a shop and she felt like a princess with the fuss that was made over how lovely she looked. Yes of course it was to make a sale but it's still nice to feel special. They also made her a special risotto that wasn't on the menu in a restaurant.
We had a lovely Italian driver take us on a day trip down the coast and he said that the whole place depends on tourist income and that Covid times were awful and locals were pleased to have tourists back. It was just post pandemic when we went. We are going to the Lakes this summer so I surely hope that the same is true there.
We are a bit mindful that it's peoples livelihoods and don't take the piss haggling for cheap prices and are open to getting upsold a bit within reason if it's a nice thing/ experience. I would not honestly expect to pay local prices as a tourist. We abide by rules eg parking ones and don't litter, we make a bit of an effort with language just a few polite phrases and are complimentary and interested in the place and I have never actually been anywhere that we didn't feel welcomed.

Say hello and please in Italian at the beginning of your conversation as a bare minimum.

Ideally use Google translate and learn to say 'I'm sorry I don't speak Italian'

Just saying 'grazie' isn't enough.

On the other hand, I don’t like Greece and have not had great experience with Greek people. They seem quite racist and rather intent on living on past glory.

English people are really unpopular in the continent now, more than ever before

Our tourist money is almost not wanted.

As a whole, we are seen as arrogant, entitled and have an air of ' exceptionalism' that makes us think politeness and manners don't apply to us.

Unfortunately decent travellers get lumped in with the general view, and the nly way to show you aren't 'Typically English' is by learning a bit of the language , enough to order in a cafe or restaurant and exchange pleasantries, and observe other customs.

Your husband is obviously entitled to wear what he wants, but if no other patrons are, and they have dressed in smarter clothes for the evening, then that may mark him out as 'one of those English'.

My family is from a very touristed part of Italy. Italy has a labour shortage and many of the staff in the local hotels and restaurants are not Italian and only have minimal Italian themselves - English is the default language. I imagine this might be the situation in similar popular destinations and resorts so it shouldn't be an issue that the OP doesn't speak Italian.

This, of course, has nothing to do with the OP but I am aware from family members who work in the tourism industry that residents are getting more and more fed up with tourists. Although our area has attracted visitors for centuries, It is a problem that a lot of people now come for the day, often, it seems, to have their photos taken in particular locations, but don't put that much into the economy. It becomes really difficult for local people to use local transport (too crowded), park, find rental properties (all kept for short lets) etc etc. Even driving is an issue as the roads are very windy and visitors are (understandably) nervous and drive very slowly causing huge tailbacks (it's very difficult to overtake, too many bends).

There is also a weird sense of entitlement from some visitors who appear to believe that everything and everyone is content in their Insta: people have literally walked into the shop where my cousin works filming it and her, without a word of greeting, much less asking if she would mind. Again, I am not accusing the OP of doing anything like this, just expressing why there might be a level of resentment towards foreigners generally.

As someone who is very widely travelled, I can’t say I’ve ever found that, anywhere. You’re always going to get the odd grumpy member of staff, though.
TBH I often think it’s the English who hate the English, rather than anyone else.

As for the language thing, I don’t suppose most of us are up to learning enough of a language’s basics for every single country we’re ever going to visit. Like it or not, English is a global language, has been for a long time, and if people anywhere are going to learn one foreign language, it’s most likely to be English. Not German, Dutch, Swedish, Greek, Czech, Hindi, Bahasa Indonesian, Japanese, etc.

I say this as someone who does have the basics of a few languages, and more than the basics of two of them.

I'm surprised. I have always found Italians to be very friendly on holiday. They generally think we are German but must realise we are probably not when we speak English to them. I don't attempt more than hello, goodbye, please and thank you when in another country. Noone has got time to learn a whole new language just to go on holiday.

Yep. This is because most small shops are privately owned. Essentially you’re walking into the business that belongs to the person behind the till and not saying hello. If you think about it like that, it’s rude by any standards.

How peculiar, have not experienced this as at all! Have experienced the occasional bad service (one memorable time in Palermo when we were seated but then never served…) but Italians generally tend to be friendly. They respond VERY well to visitors speaking Italian, they absolutely love you for it! However, I didn’t experience rude service etc (other than the odd instance here or there which can happen anywhere) even when I didn’t speak Italian. The only notable exception is Venice where I think they are just sick to their back teeth of tourists and lump them all together.

I haven’t been to the lakes though, maybe northern Italians are different and less friendly, it’s a large and diverse country.

Not my experience. I do speak a little Italian though ,

it’s good manners to say hello (buongiorno etc) when you go in to a cafe and if you want to look around a shop just ask..‘posso guadare’ etc. don’t just rock up and sit down in a restaurant.

The main problem I’ve had in Italy is being fat shamed, particularly by male waiters in restaurants. It’s always Italian men who think it’s ok to be abusive to overweight women.

Interesting. I find Italians very friendly in the main; hospitality is their thing! Something we English could do with much more of.

Even the English

I think there can be small cultural differences that come off as rude in other countries.

In France, it’s shockingly rude not to greet someone properly but it would a bit odd to walk into an English shop and say “Good morning Sir”. And appallingly uncivilised to rock up to a restaurant half an hour before lunchtime when the staff are eating their main meal. Those sorts of faux pas are easily made when you don’t know.

I haven’t spent enough time in Italy to know what the equivalent would be. But it can worth both ways. Openly curious staring and abrupt , disinterested service are feel quite rude but are cultural rather than individual.

@laclochette Oh no the opposite! I was speculating that that's why some Brits complain about the French being "rude". The Brits don't necessarily greet first, so a cultural misunderstanding ensues.

I had the opposite experience, I can't relate to this at all. We found local people to be extremely friendly and helpful and happy to chat. We could not speak Italian other than a few obvious words. We did have our young child with us, wonder if that made us more popular?

Imagine the reaction a tourist would get anywhere in the UK trying to order in a foreign language.

I find it incredible that waiters on the continent can often take orders in four or five languages. Given how hard they work and how little they earn I'm not surprised they're a bit abrupt sometimes.

It’s not that easy.
You can’t learnt the language of every country you visit

Exactly, and people like to enthuse about how Danes are great at languages but actually a lot only know English. I've been to France and Spain with my Danish in laws and I was the only one even speaking a tiny amount of French/Spanish

I am not English - I am Scottish/British - and worked several sseasons as a student in very busy tourist places in Edinburgh. Tourists of all nationalities and have to say that I found Italians fairly rude too. Not the ones who were travelling independently, or families with children, but the older people who would pile off a tour bus into the castle or Holyrood Palace. One memorable customer screamed FRANCOBOLLI at me for about five minutes expecting me to know she wanted postage stamps.

“But what I did find was Italians have no time for people who have not bothered to learn the language.”

This is your problem. Locals get fed up with tourists. They learning the language and trying to appreciate the local culture and customs.

I grew up in a tourist attraction area, tourists are the worst. We got so fed up with bus fulls swamping the city, cramming the streets, dropping stink bombs, stealing from the shops. You could barely move in the summer for them.

Sometimes it is just a bad experience of one or two people.

We Londoners have a terrible reputation for being rude, which is a little unfair. Just this morning I and a fellow passenger on my train this morning helped out a couple with very limited English who has got on the wrong train and were a bit distressed. Most humans are ok.

Regarding Italy, I have always found it fine and perfectly friendly. Sometimes waiters are a bit rushed and abrupt in the bigger cities but that is the same everywhere. I remember being a bit intimidated by the confusing rules in bakeries and delis in Rome but apart from that!

Even the English hate the English.

Seriously, be lovely to learn some Italian.

I hope you didn't leave a tip in these instances. If I got treated like that in restaurants I'd be out the door throwing the menus back at them on the way.

Spent last week in Pisa, Florence and rural Tuscany and literally nothing in your post resonates with my experience. My Italian is extremely limited: buongiorno, ciao, grazie, but I can also say parlo inglese and mi scusi. I smile and point and have found that in the city, most people do speak some English and some speak excellent English. I’ve never had the rude service you describe, OP, though I admit I’ve never been to Rome. I’ve certainly never felt any sense of animosity towards me for being English!

It’s not that easy.
You can’t learnt the language of every country you visit. I learnt Italian at school and Spanish and French as an adult. I get them all mixed up and can only remember what to say when I practice hard before and during a visit to that country. If you don’t use it, you lose it.

My great grandad was polish and came to live in the UK after the war. Eventually he could remember hardly any polish and it was his native language.

@LordPercyPercy Do you mean the French launch straight into things? In France, proper greetings are much more important than in the UK. If you enter a shop and don't say bonjour to the person working there immediately, it's considered rude, for example. Whereas in the UK you aren't offending anyone if you only address them once you want to start a conversation or ask them for help.