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Original poster

I think he’s expecting sex on the first date

114 replies

CherryBlossom97 · 09/05/2024 23:36

What might not even be a proper date now I’m thinking about it. I’ve been speaking to this guy for a few weeks. I’ve known him a while but not seen him for probably about 10 years.. he has turned recent conversations quite sexual and now he’s saying things like ‘This needs to happen sooner rather than later’ and now he says he’s free any day next week if I am with wink emojis so I think he’s now got an expectation. What would you do?

OP posts:
AdoraBell · 10/05/2024 07:55

What he’s actually saying is - I have the right to have access to your body now and whenever by I want.

Kick him to the kirb, he’s told you who he is.

jeaux90 · 10/05/2024 07:54

Ewww nope.
I would say to him "I am really interested in seeing you again but I'm keen to take things slow"

If he pushes your boundaries on the above then ditch him. He could be terrible at flirting, equally he could be an entitled prat.

Nicole1111 · 10/05/2024 07:54

I’m not going to make our date. It’s become apparent that your interest in me is only sexual and that’s not what I’m looking for.

DreadPirateRobots · 10/05/2024 07:50

"This doesn't sound like something that's for me, so let's call it off. Good luck."

Block.

candycrush02 · 10/05/2024 07:47

You say you knew him 10 years ago? as a friend or an ex? Someone you want to start again with?

Yes he wants sex (find me a man who doesn't) the question is "Do you?"

Coshei · 10/05/2024 07:46

Ridiculous responses on this thread. Tell him what your expectations are and if you are uncomfortable with a topic. He’s not a mind reader and pure online communication can be difficult at best.

If he ignores that you know that he won’t respect your boundaries, but you won’t know until you have been specific about your wants.

KeinLiebeslied54321 · 10/05/2024 07:43

He sounds charming (yes that's sarcasm).
Run @CherryBlossom97, run.

bonzaitree · 10/05/2024 07:41

Block and ignore.

Unless you want a casual shag. In which case go for it.

VoteHappy · 10/05/2024 07:37

" this needs to happen sooner than later"
WTF!
Just block him, what a creep

AgnesX · 10/05/2024 07:36

Ohnodontwantthiscrush · 09/05/2024 23:45

"listen all this sex talk is going to put me off before we even meet. Fyi casual sex is not my scene at all so if that's what you're expecting we should mot bother meeting."

This.

You need to be crystal that it's not going to happen beforehand. If he doesn't want to meet once you tell him then you've escaped and there's no twattery about leading him on.

Sunnyandsilly · 10/05/2024 07:33

Seems your side in this is missing, what are you saying to him that he is responding this has to happen sooner rather than later.

it is right to say no if you don’t want to. You can change your mind either way, at any time, but it is always best not to give someone an expectation if you have no desire to do something, saves awkward situations.

unsync · 10/05/2024 07:31

Ugh. No. Raise your standards, you shouldn't even need to be asking.

SnapdragonToadflax · 10/05/2024 06:42

Ewwwwww. 'This needs to happen'? Not in a million years mate, goodbye.

Guavafish1 · 10/05/2024 06:40

Yes, he is expecting something.

CosmosQueen · 10/05/2024 06:39

Yuck 🤢
I’d cancel the date knowing that he’s just after sex.

Eddielizzard · 10/05/2024 06:37

I wouldn't answer that. This would put me off

WhoopDereItIzz · 10/05/2024 06:26

Eww.

Being kind: could be clumsy flirting. I guess it’s better to date someone attracted to you than not 🤣

If you still want to go on the date just go and don’t have sex. If it’s put you off the date, just cancel.

Do what you want, don’t feel pressured.

Codlingmoths · 10/05/2024 05:39

What do you do?? You say dude, maybe I’m misinterpreting your comments here but I don’t have sex with men I haven’t even been on a single date with. Nor on the first date. At least. If that’s not for you then nor am I.

rwalker · 10/05/2024 05:38

Nothing wrong with being upfront
tbh I think life would be a lot easier if everyone was

just tell him you get the impression he’s expecting a shag and your not up for that

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 10/05/2024 05:21

It sounds like you will only be a notch on his bed in his opinion if he has his way and am sure he has changed a lot in 10 years and is not the man you knew if he is talking to you like this. Fine if you want sex too, nothing wrong with that but if you are looking for more than that then do not keep in contact with him as you will never hear from him again and will feel like crap. It is almost like he is grooming you into quick sex and there will be no date. Yuk would turn me right off to be honest. How many more is he behaving like this with. But if you want fun then go for it but him being so obvious would be a right turn off for me.

ineedtostopbeingdramaticfirst · 10/05/2024 05:14

It sounds like he wants sex not a relationship

strangewomenlyinginponds · 10/05/2024 02:27

CherryBlossom97 · 09/05/2024 23:36

What might not even be a proper date now I’m thinking about it. I’ve been speaking to this guy for a few weeks. I’ve known him a while but not seen him for probably about 10 years.. he has turned recent conversations quite sexual and now he’s saying things like ‘This needs to happen sooner rather than later’ and now he says he’s free any day next week if I am with wink emojis so I think he’s now got an expectation. What would you do?

I wouldn't date him.

BronteH · 10/05/2024 02:26

🤢🤢 ghost him

GrumpyOldCrone · 09/05/2024 23:56

If you want to have sex with him, go for it. However, bear in mind that you might never hear from him again afterwards, because it doesn’t sound like he’s particularly interested in you as a person.

SurelySmartie · 09/05/2024 23:53

What would you do?

Not have sex with him.

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