Should I send this text? Or is it desperate?

No, but it is incompatible to think you shouldn’t text as the man will let you know if he’s interested,

It's not incompatible with being a feminist to also know that if men are interested in seeing you again they'll soon let you know.

If you have to text first (or in your case double-text), he's not interested. If you're confused, he's not interested. His silence was his answer.

People saying text, either don't understand modern dating, or are in the absolute minute percentage where it worked out for them (...he was probably going to text anyway, they just beat him to it).

Ps you can still be a feminist, and know that logically it shouldn't matter, but also know that the above is true.

He wasn't interested because of your ...[insert anything random about you]. Not because of your text. Your text merely sped up time as he didn't know how to signal no and was putting it off.

It's not strange to go on potentially hundreds of dates and it not 'click' for one or both people. Often, due to wanting it to work and self-doubt, the non-committal dance can go on for a few months.

Phew you know the truth and are free!

@Sugarandmoresugar10 If it was have meant to have been- it would have been.
Dating as others say sounds like utter purgatory.
All the games...eugh! who has time for it..

FAR better to be single and free from such bullshite.

Reading this thread is so depressing. Dating seems like hell, I think I’ll be single forever!

seeing as you texted the last text… I personally would leave it a week to see if he comes back. If men are interested they do tend to seek you out…. This is based on personal experience.

That is such a generalisation. What's the emotional labour in showing interest to someone you fancy? It's meant to be fun and flirty.

Nobody realises that if the woman texts first, she s doing all the emotional labour instead of the guy?

Do women really need more of these situations?

💯

@Sugarandmoresugar10 This line you wrote struck me:
I wasn't sure if I felt attracted to him

It is highly likely he feels the same. I wouldn't prompt him today, I think its too soon. Let it rest a few days and think about it again.

I think it's interesting that the posters that disagree with the fact that a woman being too eager puts a man off - are missing the fact that the OP didn't fancy this guy initially, but now he's playing it cool she wants him! The guy in this OP has proven that acting a little disinterested can heighten the interest of someone that was ambivalent. He has done it, on the OP! Yes I do think you should have acted a little cool yourself, and it might instead have been his interest in you that was increased.

Go for it. Suggest you go to see a picture together. If you make it a casual question and if the response is enthusiastic take it from there.

Life is too short to play stupid gender based games.

Edit sorry guilty of NRTFT.

How old are you?

If he's not interested because you are doing the chasing then he isn't interested full stop. I would actually send something more direct tbh - Do you fancy going to see X film it's on next week at X if you're up for it?

Well done for sending the text. At least now you know and you're not still wondering if you should or not. There's nothing wrong with a woman doing the chasing. I had to completely throw myself at my DH to get him to notice me. He was so clueless I had to be obvious to the point of all his friends telling him I clearly liked him because he was never going to realise by himself. Yes it was undignified, but I didn't care because I knew what I wanted so I went for it and I got it. We've been married over twenty years and have two kids together. Personally I wouldn't want a man who subscribed to all these ridiculous stereotypes anyway so if he was going to be put off by my forwardness I would have been put off by his reaction.

Oh, what?! I thought this was only a page long! Back to read the OP's posts now, doh!!

This.

I ticked YABU as YABU to be dithering. If you want to go to a film with him, ask him. If if fucks things up then they were really tenuous anyway.

If he wants to see you and is genuine, he'll say yes. If he doesn't, then it wasn't meant to be, and better to know sooner rather than later,

@PassingStranger you missed many posts from OP. He's not interested so time to move to next one ...

Dosent anyone phone anymore?
Just phone and you'll get an instant answer and there will be no waiting.

Well it's best you don't waste any more time if he's not interested so don't regret it.

You'll not scare off someone who can't wait to see you again with one simple text.

Engaging in game playing just means dragging out something that isn't going anywhere. If they want the thrill of the chase they'll dump you once they get to the end goal and by that time you'll be more involved.

Onwards and upwards.

@Sugarandmoresugar10 listen to this advice - multi date! I had 3-4 on the go (no sex), so if one disappeared I had 3 more to think of. Very successfully I am with an incredible man who loves me so so much so all good

Stop worrying about how you come across!

You won't find somebody who is a good match for you if the only thing you're overthinking about is "How can I make him like me/not put him off." A much better thing to be thinking about is "are we a good match?" and specifically "Is he good enough for my high standards?"

If he'd have been into you he would have been delighted that you asked. He wasn't, which is a shame, but now you know and you won't waste any more time overthinking about it.

Nice is good and don't let anyone tell you overwise.
You moved it on and now you know. It's miles better than waiting for weeks wondering if he will text you. There is no way he became vague on you because you suggested a film. If you have feelings they don't suddenly change because someone text you before you text them.

Oh I missed that, sorry! But yes, I remember feeling like this at times - focused on whether someone liked me (even with female potential friends) rather than what I thought of them. I think women are particularly prone to this and it’s about their own identity and esteem vs the person they’re projecting it onto. That person is used as a mirror to reflect back ‘am I worthy?’