Should I send this text? Or is it desperate?

No stop this now. You sent the text and that was a nice friendly thing to do. If he either wasn't interested anyway, or was bizarrely put off you for being nice and friendly then that's frankly his loss. It's really not a game, you haven't broken any rules. Just be yourself - that will win some and lose some! And that's fine.

If a man likes you he’s not going to be put off by you texting him to say it was good to see him, did he message you back after you sent that message? If not I wouldn’t have sent the second message. Also he hasn’t said no he maybe is genuinely busy and needs to check work schedule or something, who knows, try not to feel bad anyways plenty more out there

It feels desperate, I would personally leave it a few days and then get in touch.

Don’t worry, if he’d have been interested that would not have put him off. But you can tell when a man is interested - they’d be arranging the second date on the first one, texting to see if you got home. If you were really getting on then the date would have been longer than 2 hours. You just need to learn to read the signs.

For those that haven’t read the thread she texted it’s done. A helpful tip is to click on the OP’s posts.

I’ve reread your OP and I wouldn’t have sent the text straight after the date either saying ‘good to see you’ I think that was unnecessary and then you don’t know if he would have texted you later that night or not (that would then have given you more of an indication of whether he was keen to see you again).

People get a bit text happy. I don’t think it’s a good thing. Leave it a few days next time.

Maybe reach out to him in a way that doesn’t initiate another date?
eg “I just passed a billboard with an advert of that movie we were talking about- does look exciting!”
and leave it to him to follow up with “ah nice, wanna go see it sometime soon?”

Text him! He will be agonising over exactly the same dilemma. Most men would love a bit more clarity and directness and are as fearful of seeming desperate as you are.

At least you didn’t have to wait around wondering if he’d text you. I don’t think you put him off. I think men make their minds up quickly.

2 hours seems a short date. Did he finish it or you?

I think it’s right that if a man is interested he will let you know. He won’t want to cut the date short, he will text you later that evening, he will want to see you again really soon. You learn the signs.

Just send the text. Something like 'oh that film has come out, do you fancy going to see it?' If he doesn't answer, well you have your answer, don't bother contacting him again.

Well done for sending the text. You got your answer and you can discount him now. I don't think texting him will have put him off. Waiting and playing games with someone who is lukewarm or unsure is just such an energy drain. I hope you meet someone who is ready for a relationship with you soon. You sound really thoughtful and caring. Good luck!

Oops! ☺️

Send him a text asking if he's interested in seeing any of the films you were discussing together. If he doesn't reply, you can forget about it and move on. Why should a guy always have to make the move? Some guys today are terrified about doing or saying the wrong thing. Anyways, a simple text on your part hardly makes you Baby Reindeer...

@curliegirlie for me personally silence would have been a definitive answer. I did extensive online dating a few years ago (and yes I know OP wasn't OLD) and any silence was always a sign of lack of interest (I assume as I never messaged). As I said many times I had a strategy based on a few pillars

• no meeting within a few days - unmatch
• date 3-4 men at a time (no sex; no kisses). So if one disappeared I barely noticed
• delete their messages as soon as I received them and don't save their number - so even if I had a moment of weakness and wanted to message them I would have been unable to as I didn't have their numbers

And no it's not 1800 and I'm actually a very very successful professional at work, but it's been a real eye opener and I met the most amazing man by doing this (there were a couple that really stood out): so for me, it worked!

But at least she has some kind of definite answer now.

Ha, I always remember when I first phoned DH after our drunken night. Reception was poor (landline to mobile circa 2001) and for a second I thought he was ghosting me 😂. He wasn't and we arranged a pub meet. And the rest is history!

@curliegirlie because his silence was a loud and clear no

Erm, WHY? I don't think her texting him changed the outcome (and if it did she's better off without him). It just meant she had some idea of where she stands sooner.

Try taking the debate out of your head. When you start to think about it just say, out loud, “over, done, finished”—try walking, running, or just tapping your hand while you say it to break the cycle of rumination.

If he didn't want to see you again because you were "Too nice" you've had a lucky escape.
What do you think you should have done? Said "Don't think I'm buying you a drink fucker" and slapped him round the head in order to get another date?
Stop worrying about whether you should change yourself, you sound lovely, you took a chance it didn't work out.
Of course women can contact first good grief it's not 1800s.
Any man that prefers "the thrill of the chase" is downright dodgy imo.

And that’s perfectly fine to text him.

Rejection is normal, you just have to mentally dust him off and try again.

@Sugarandmoresugar10 chalk it up to experience. I'm sorry you had to listen to the "text him" brigade.

I was in the camp of "don't text him, if he's interested he will". We see it again and again on these threads. Nothing bad in someone not being interested in you (rejection always hurts but it's part of life)

If a similar scenario happens, move on. A good and interested man will make sure to book a further date. It's really THAT easy