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Original poster

Should I send this text? Or is it desperate?

463 replies

Sugarandmoresugar10 · 09/05/2024 22:09

I had a first date with someone yesterday after work, it's someone I've already met as a friend of a friend, and we've always got on very well/I felt chemistry.
The date was about 2 hours, a drink and very quick bite to eat. Conversation flowed super well, we had a good laugh. I wasn't sure if I felt attracted to him if I'm honest, but I have felt that attraction previously so I'm willing to give it a try.

So he made comments about wanting to do it again, I agreed, and I sent a casual, good to see you, hope you got back ok. The convo naturally ended .

Wondering if I should hint at meeting him again? There are a ton of films coming out that we were both talking about that are out this month.
Should I text something like 'It'd be cool to see one of those films we talked about soon'

So to imply I want to see him, but it still lets him arrange details?
Or is that chasing/desperate?
I'm pretty paranoid now tbh, but I'm also paranoid that he got a vibe I didn't find him that attractive, even if I do like him.

OP posts:
Monkeynoodles · 12/05/2024 10:19

heartbroken40 · 12/05/2024 10:00

TO EVERYONE - SHE SENT THE TEXT AND HE'S NOT INTERESTED. gosh so frustrating those people still saying "send the text"

I want to know how these people unable to click on 'see all' or see the date of the OP are able to function in real world.

How many more of:
'go for it '
'send it, it's 2024'
'send it and good luck!' will we get before the thread is deleted? I think we might get to 40 pages actually 😂

Monkeynoodles · 12/05/2024 10:17

Noodles1234 · 12/05/2024 06:22

Send it and let us know!

i have given up reading signs and traditions, you will never know unless you try.

Surprise surprise she already sent it and let us know AGES ago. Hence why people tend to read updates before posting.

heartbroken40 · 12/05/2024 10:00

TO EVERYONE - SHE SENT THE TEXT AND HE'S NOT INTERESTED. gosh so frustrating those people still saying "send the text"

Mimimimi1234 · 12/05/2024 09:56

If he is a mature adult man looking for something more with you then he will apreciate the text and respond. If you send it and he backs off then at least you know he wasnt that into it or hes an idiot who likes to play games. Either way its a win win situation i knew my partner was the one when after our first date we had natural, no games, no waiting around for responses for three days, no cryptic messages. Just two adults who liked each other and were interested in a relationship making that happen. I would send the text

Naftytafy · 12/05/2024 08:39

Sugarandmoresugar10 · 09/05/2024 22:09

I had a first date with someone yesterday after work, it's someone I've already met as a friend of a friend, and we've always got on very well/I felt chemistry.
The date was about 2 hours, a drink and very quick bite to eat. Conversation flowed super well, we had a good laugh. I wasn't sure if I felt attracted to him if I'm honest, but I have felt that attraction previously so I'm willing to give it a try.

So he made comments about wanting to do it again, I agreed, and I sent a casual, good to see you, hope you got back ok. The convo naturally ended .

Wondering if I should hint at meeting him again? There are a ton of films coming out that we were both talking about that are out this month.
Should I text something like 'It'd be cool to see one of those films we talked about soon'

So to imply I want to see him, but it still lets him arrange details?
Or is that chasing/desperate?
I'm pretty paranoid now tbh, but I'm also paranoid that he got a vibe I didn't find him that attractive, even if I do like him.

He's not a mind reader send the text.
If a first date was good, go out again. And keep going out until it's no longer fun.

And if it doesn't work, be fond of your good times, learn from your mistakes and move on.

5475878237NC · 12/05/2024 07:54

Cancel the cheque indeed. I'm losing my mind with this thread. Going hide it now!

Noodles1234 · 12/05/2024 06:22

Send it and let us know!

i have given up reading signs and traditions, you will never know unless you try.

HelmholtzWatson · 12/05/2024 06:06

It's impossible to know his thoughts, but on average I think men would be happy to get a message like this. Maybe on this occasion he didn't like it for whatever reason. However, overall if you like a guy, it's the right play.

drusth · 12/05/2024 03:13

Nanof8 · 12/05/2024 02:42

What if he's waiting for her to contact him?
I would send him the text maybe with a specific movie listed that you talked about.

Show quote history

She’s initiated contact twice now since their date, with a lukewarm response from him.

What would contacting him for a third time achieve?

pineapplesundae · 12/05/2024 03:11

I’m old fashioned and I vote to send it!

Nanof8 · 12/05/2024 02:42

YoureALizardHarry11 · 09/05/2024 22:11

I personally wouldn’t. If he’s interested he will contact you I think.

What if he's waiting for her to contact him?
I would send him the text maybe with a specific movie listed that you talked about.

Katej82 · 12/05/2024 00:21

Sugarandmoresugar10 · 09/05/2024 22:09

I had a first date with someone yesterday after work, it's someone I've already met as a friend of a friend, and we've always got on very well/I felt chemistry.
The date was about 2 hours, a drink and very quick bite to eat. Conversation flowed super well, we had a good laugh. I wasn't sure if I felt attracted to him if I'm honest, but I have felt that attraction previously so I'm willing to give it a try.

So he made comments about wanting to do it again, I agreed, and I sent a casual, good to see you, hope you got back ok. The convo naturally ended .

Wondering if I should hint at meeting him again? There are a ton of films coming out that we were both talking about that are out this month.
Should I text something like 'It'd be cool to see one of those films we talked about soon'

So to imply I want to see him, but it still lets him arrange details?
Or is that chasing/desperate?
I'm pretty paranoid now tbh, but I'm also paranoid that he got a vibe I didn't find him that attractive, even if I do like him.

No don't be too keen you've already spoke let him make the move men always like the chase imo

Breakingpoint1961 · 12/05/2024 00:06

I'm old. 30 years ago I'd have said no don't send, now I'd say life is too short, don't listen to the 'rules' and do what you feel

Good luck

Newtrix · 11/05/2024 23:45

@Sugarandmoresugar10 Don't let this let down stop you from doing the same in future. Why not just say if you like someone. I went out with 13 men I met online before meeting my DH, some you click with, some you don't. It feels shitty when you think you've clicked but they don't, but keep your head held high and move on. Bigger and better things await.

Smineusername · 11/05/2024 23:36

Ok lessons to take away:
You are thinking too much instead of feeling. This is one of the best bits of relationship advice I ever got: How do they make you feel? You were not attracted to him, and you ignored your own feeling because you were thinking maybe it had potential in other ways. You must listen to your feelings. The right situation will feel safe and comfortable.

You should not have texted him or invited him out after the date because the fact you were questioning whether to do so meant that you had picked up on the fact that it would be unwelcome. When you're having to question yourself in this way it's not the right situation

5475878237NC · 11/05/2024 23:11

taylorswift1989 · 11/05/2024 22:05

Fucking hell. Why comment if you're not even interested enough to read the OP's updates?

I absolutely can't fathom how it comes to pass that a poster hasn't noticed at least one of the following:

  1. The date of the OP
  2. There is a "see all" function to read an OP's follow up posts
  3. The number of pages' worth of replies since!

Any of which offer a clue that perhaps "it's 2024 go for it" etc might not be the most relevant or in any way original comment by now!

Ohhoho · 11/05/2024 22:47

Courtship is a game, of course it is. In every species it is. It is about display and appearances, it is a kind of magic.
so you have already sent him a friendly text didn’t you say? And he hasn’t responded so you want to send him another? It’s hard. It’s really tough to sit on your hands and be patient, but I would. If you want the magic to begin.
If he doesn’t contact you it is either because he doesn’t want to take it further or ? What? That he is too shy? Mmm …give it a week at least

taylorswift1989 · 11/05/2024 22:05

Fucking hell. Why comment if you're not even interested enough to read the OP's updates?

slashlover · 11/05/2024 21:54

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 11/05/2024 21:46

Just prepare yourself that he might not want a second date and that is ok. You've probably tuned down second dates too. Better to ask him and then you'll either go on another date with someone you like, or you'll know to move on with the next one- don't over think it!

There's been 340+ replies, do you not think the thread has moved on?

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 11/05/2024 21:46

Just prepare yourself that he might not want a second date and that is ok. You've probably tuned down second dates too. Better to ask him and then you'll either go on another date with someone you like, or you'll know to move on with the next one- don't over think it!

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 11/05/2024 21:45

It's not desperate to ask for a date 2!!

Monkeynoodles · 11/05/2024 21:18

Sunnyandsilly · 11/05/2024 20:54

Goodness me, do people not even bother to read the ops updates.

I know! Driving me mad 😂

dcthatsme · 11/05/2024 21:02

You haven't messed up OP. It's not weird to send a text like that. You can't control what other people think. You haven't done anything odd or off-putting.

Sunnyandsilly · 11/05/2024 20:54

Goodness me, do people not even bother to read the ops updates.

LindaDawn · 11/05/2024 20:52

I would send the text if you feel,you would like to see him again.

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