Should I send this text? Or is it desperate?

Maybe he says no, because he thinks she only text him because she
Doesn't like to go to the cinema alone.

That sounds way too needy and desperate. Have you never seen that film 'He's not that into you'. It's quite an eye opener. Comedy.

If a women says no, it means no to me as well.!

Stupid that no not always means no, when a women says it.

Why not ask him even more direct
. Hello, when do we see each other again?

Someone who likes you won’t be scared off.

Very true.

Someone who likes you won’t be scared off.

I used to live by the don’t double text rule, if they don’t reply. I broke my rule and best thing I did as I’m now married to him :) He said he was so busy with work and my text prompted him to make the effort to sort a next date.

Go for it! Good luck let us know.

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Yes, you haven't lost anything. He gave out mixed signals, why people can't say what they mean is beyond me! Good luck, you've lost out on nothing here. If he re-emerges in future, don't see him again, keep that boundary.

Excellent post

Honestly, it didn't work out because there wasn't a 'spark/connection/chemistry' whatever you prefer to call it. Sometimes it's on their side, sometimes yours. You didn't make a nuisance of yourself. If you'd let him come to you maybe he would have for a bit but it wouldn't have been the most enthusiastic approach and that's what you want, not just someone being a bit piqued because you don't seem that interested. That's not a genuine mutual attraction.

In the nicest possible way you are way overthinking this. And the hundreds of second guessing answers in here are making it worse.

You went for drink with someone . It didn't go anywhere. That's it.

It's not something to extrapolate a while women want this/men want this scenario from and it's certainly not a reason to never ask anyone else out again or tie yourself in knots trying to be more:less keen/play some kind of game/follow so weird rules.

It was a date that didn't go anywhere - pretty much the definition of most dates!

Or there'd be no dating if every date ended in a relationship.

You did not thing wrong - just no real mutual attraction. It's fine. Move on.

Just , don't do the mistake and invest to much feelings in the first place. Take it slow. This way you don't get hurt when he is not much interested.

There is absolutely nothing "desperate" about asking someone on a date. You went on a date together and it didn't work out - welcome to 95% of dates!

Failure is often the least line of persistence. The more dates you go on, the better chance you have of finding someone where there is mutual attraction.

Of course, nothing wrong with moping for a few days, but eventually it's time to dust yourself down and look for the next opportunity in life :)

No it doesn't .just text and call if he doesn't answer the text. I am a man and I don't like to chase. I believe this chase sorry is prejudice.

@Sugarandmoresugar10 things didn't work out because you texted him, they didn't work out because there wasn't chemistry on the date so no point repeating the experience as you already knew each other.
Or it may have been because your first response was lukewarm friend zoney.

If you were genuinely meant for each other the sparks would have flown over dinner and drinks - given that you know each other already.
If something is meant to work, it will unless you get his and hers t-shirts made up for the second date. You will know because it will feel easy and natural.

Well he's lost out- move on! No time to waste with time wasters. 😊

Don't give up, OP!

I had a spreadsheet when I was dating at one point. I started keeping stats of which ones I liked but didn't like me and vice versa. It was about 50/50!

So many horror stories. It only takes one good one who likes you back in the end!

Re 'women texting men is a terrible idea' Look, there's nowt spoiling. The point is, generally if a man is interested he will be in touch making that known. Who asks whom for the next date isn't that important in that case. This is about if you're left waiting

If he doesn't message, and you want to know where you stand it will save you uncertainty to just send a message. Then he can confirm yes, I would love to see you. A message went amiss or something (not that likely but not unheard of)/no thanks/ hmm whatever I'm busy, maybe at some point blah. This is tantamount to a no. But you have clarified matters and moved on.

Why shoulder the emotional uncertainty of waiting around to for someone to decide if they want to message you just because you're female when you could just clear it up either way? Obviously try not to invest too early but that doesn't mean wait around forever if someone isn't following up.

Someone keen would absolutely not be put off by a text suggesting a date. 50 texts consecutively, maybe, but not this. If you text and feel you shouldn't have, or get a non committal answer then the person was not for you.

Of course there's a bit of a dance in early dating, you don't want to overstep but it isn't as silly and reductive as 'women must wait to be asked'.

Send the text. There is lots of online advice on how to develop a good text rapport and what to watch out for, signals/red flags. I recently had a first date after meeting someone at a mutual event. Short date, nice convo, I thought we had fun, he seemed interested in getting together again. No response to my text the next day letting him know I found my phone. No response the followin day either so I thought he ghosted me. So I send the cringiest, most out of character text letting him know just how interested I really was. (Ugh, I wasn't even drunk! lol) Turns out it went to a shared work phone to top it all off. So he gives me his real number and we continue texting for a few days and arrange for another get together for coffee and a walk. During the course of our several days of flirty, "getting to know you" banter I saw a couple of red flags and he finally admits he's married and just looking for a very casual hook up on the side. I wasn't ok with being part of cheating on his wife so ended it at that point before our next "date". Moral of the story - sometimes players have an easier time admitting the truth over text and you can dodge a bullet if needed. In more legit relationships, playful text back and forth is a great way to get to know each other and build a little interest before the next date. Either way a win! There is some great info online on how to establish great texting rapport. Go for it. Bottom line is any guy who can't handle receiving a text from you isn't really worth pursuing. Be adult, start the convo and see where it leads. Have fun! And don't be afraid to question red flags if they come up.

Please don’t think like that, dating can be really hard and make you second guess yourself. You did absolutely nothing wrong, he just hasn’t been that proactive for whatever reason but it’s nothing to do with how you handled things or what you did or didn’t text him.
Try not to dwell on it, someone better will appreciate you soon 😊

Something might have changed in his life that isn’t a reflection on you.

i had a date organised once with a new to me man, but between agreeing to it, and the actual day, my x turned up and I stupidly agreed to see him again, thus cancelled the date.

fast forward a couple of months and I was back on my own again. Unknowingly I past date man on a club stairwell and he called out was I such and such which I acknowledged. I was saddened to see the look on his face as I had clearly upset him and there wasn’t the opportunity to explain why as he walked off…

To be fair, "see all" isn't available in the Android app.

It's not an excuse though for not quickly scrolling through and stopping on the OPs posts (which are in a other colour) or checking the date, seeing it's several days old and figuring that probably their wisdom of "just send the text" is not desperately needed or in fact unique by now...

That's just silly.

There are loads of men out there to talk to and date. Stop fixating on one that you didn't even fancy much.

Nothing bad happened. You had a date, it went okay, he doesn't want another one. That is NOT a bad outcome. You know what would be bad? If he thought, oh hey she's into me, let me use her for sex before I dump her. Or if he pretended to be into you, only to string you along until he found someone he liked more. Or if he kept dating you and you were constantly feeling unsure of how he really felt.

It's done now. Let it go. Don't start feeling sorry for yourself - he's really not worth it.