Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should I send this text? Or is it desperate?

463 replies

Sugarandmoresugar10 · 09/05/2024 22:09

I had a first date with someone yesterday after work, it's someone I've already met as a friend of a friend, and we've always got on very well/I felt chemistry.
The date was about 2 hours, a drink and very quick bite to eat. Conversation flowed super well, we had a good laugh. I wasn't sure if I felt attracted to him if I'm honest, but I have felt that attraction previously so I'm willing to give it a try.

So he made comments about wanting to do it again, I agreed, and I sent a casual, good to see you, hope you got back ok. The convo naturally ended .

Wondering if I should hint at meeting him again? There are a ton of films coming out that we were both talking about that are out this month.
Should I text something like 'It'd be cool to see one of those films we talked about soon'

So to imply I want to see him, but it still lets him arrange details?
Or is that chasing/desperate?
I'm pretty paranoid now tbh, but I'm also paranoid that he got a vibe I didn't find him that attractive, even if I do like him.

OP posts:
MistyGreenAndBlue · 09/05/2024 22:15

Sugarandmoresugar10 · 09/05/2024 22:11

You're right. I mean he seemed like he wanted to meet again, but apparently women should never ask men out in the early stages or even text first, from what I've read :(

By gum! I'm 52 and even I think this is old fashioned 😂
Just text him. If he likes you, he'll be thrilled. It's not like you're asking yo set a wedding date.

DoAWheelie · 09/05/2024 22:14

The problem with "men should x and women should y" is that not everyone read the rulebook.

If you want something communicate it, no one is a mind-reader. If they are put off by a text saying you'd like to see them then they have major issues and you dodged a bullet.

Sugarandmoresugar10 · 09/05/2024 22:14

Thank you. There's just so much on here about men loving the chase, and I'm scared this is making it too easy.

OP posts:
VeraForever · 09/05/2024 22:13

Just send him a cheery text.

Inastatus · 09/05/2024 22:13

I think it’s fine to send that text. If it scares him off then obviously it’s not meant to be but hopefully he’ll be chuffed that you’ve shown interest and respond positively. Good luck.

teatimeplease · 09/05/2024 22:13

If he was put off by you mentioning a film, I then he wouldn't be right for anyway 🤷🏻‍♀️ just send it, what's the worst that can happen

Hoglet70 · 09/05/2024 22:12

Bollocks. I wouldn't be married now if that were true!

Sugarandmoresugar10 · 09/05/2024 22:12

YoureALizardHarry11 · 09/05/2024 22:11

I personally wouldn’t. If he’s interested he will contact you I think.

How come? Just out of interest. Do you think it'll put him off ?

OP posts:
Sugarandmoresugar10 · 09/05/2024 22:11

BitOutOfPractice · 09/05/2024 22:10

If you want to see him again send it.

You're right. I mean he seemed like he wanted to meet again, but apparently women should never ask men out in the early stages or even text first, from what I've read :(

OP posts:
Hoglet70 · 09/05/2024 22:11

He's not telepathic, send the text.

YoureALizardHarry11 · 09/05/2024 22:11

I personally wouldn’t. If he’s interested he will contact you I think.

BitOutOfPractice · 09/05/2024 22:10

If you want to see him again send it.

Sugarandmoresugar10 · 09/05/2024 22:09

Would it scare him off if I did send something like that?

OP posts:
Swipe left for the next trending thread