Should I send this text? Or is it desperate?

I'd text him asking how he is etc then see how it goes and if all is well ask him out in a few days.

Does he know these imaginary rules though?!

That's a load of ageist shite.

🤣🤣🤣

This!

I actually think it's quite the opposite and it's posters with outdated views telling the OP to go for it.

If you haven't been actively involved in the dating scene over the past couple of years, let me tell you it's changed beyond belief from even pre-Covid.

Every time I've been the one to initiate an early date it's never ended well. Some will be happy to go along with it for sex if you're the one making the effort but I don't get the impression that's what the OP is looking for.

If a man wants you, you'll know; if he doesn't
you'll be confused

Definitely text him. I'm 54 and would without hesitation. Also OP wants him to know she likes him and is slightly concerned that it came across as if she didn't (or that's how I read it).

What do the people saying that the man must do all the running think happens in same sex relationships?

Her suggesting a film together means he's a weak man? Riiiiight. 🤔

I missed that OP is in the 1950s.

And for context I've been with my man 20 years - I also missed that it's a competition.

@Zonder I've been with my man for 2.5 years - he's the dream man and more and he still messages first (and he has an incredibly high powered job and he's busy). I don't want some weak "man" who needs his girlfriend to do all the organising. This guy can ask OP out right? I say no way or even if it continues it will not end well

Not this!

I think some posters have missed that a) OP and the guy have been messaging daily for a while and b) since the date she messaged to say she had a good time and he replied!

You've already messaged first right? So why would you message again? Even if he's not interested he'll probably hope for a shag before the "I'm not ready for a relationship" talk. or you get into a relationship and have to do all the chasing and planning

100% don't message - if he is interested he WILL.

Another oldie here saying definitely message. However I wouldn't be so detailed, I'd just ask if he was up for seeing x film, then arrange the day and time together if he wants to do it.

I like your musings on the differences between how a behaviour looks if a man does it versus is a woman does it. When i was last dating I just expressed myself clearly. I did once get turned down. It's OK, it doesn't make me a shameful or desperate woman!

I'd text early next week and ask if wants to see a film at weekend

Bollocks to all the rules and game playing.

Would everyone be calling a man 'desperate' for initiating a date? No. So why should a woman.

Harassing and mithering and sending repetitive messages is desperate. One message to initiate seeing a film you have already discussed potentially doing, is not desperate.

Go for it OP.

Do you want to be in a relationship with a man who is so absurd that he would want to go out with you but be put off by you asking?

Surely not.

Therefore ask him. It's a great screening process, because if it puts him off he's a disgusting irrational chauvinist.

Send the text but do know that if he has not been in touch yet he is probably not that into you. Many men will say "yeah yeah let's meet up again" and so on because they don't have the balls to admit they are not interested. They can't handle uncomfortable situations.
But not all of them are like that, so do send the text just in case.

What a horrible ageist post. You know how old every poster on this thread is do you?

OP this 67 year old says go for it. Life's too short for what-ifs. If he's put off by it it tells you that he likes to be in control and doesn't want to be equal. Run.

If he thinks that it makes you too easy (or desperate) then he'll soon start with disrespect. At that point - run.

Or y'know, he might just be pleased to know you'd like to see him again and it could be the start of something good. You snooze, you lose. Send a cheery light message about seeing a film. And my fingers are crossed for you.

Don't fanny about.

If you want to see him again, just send him a text asking.

I've been with my husband for 10 years now, but when I was single I couldn't be arsed with 'rules' and game playing! I did whatever I wanted. And a lot of the time it was absolutely disastrous! 😂 But when I met my now husband, I wasn't sure if I was getting interested vibes from him or if he liked me more as a friend. So I sent the text that most people on here would tell you not to send! I asked him what he was looking for. And he wasn't scared off or whatever nonsense because it was right. I honestly don't believe you can 'scare off' the right person for you! Anyone who gets easily scared off isn't that into you in the first place, so it's doomed anyway. Better to find that out quickly and move on, in my opinion. Even if it feels embarrassing at the time. (Believe me, I've had my fair share of moments I cringe to think about now.)

It's easy, just send the text.

If he's keen he'll respond positively. If he doesn't then close that door and...NEXT!

I started dating again a couple of years ago after being out of the game for 15 years! I found the concept of ‘too keen’ was only really when I was texting first all the time. Most blokes liked that I made the effort to message first sometimes.
I wouldn’t send a text this late. I’d text tomorrow afternoon with a ‘how was your day?/hooray it’s Friday night!’ type text and assuming he replies I’d go into ‘You know we mentioned films, x is now showing. Fancy going on Tuesday if you’re free?’. That way you’ve got the date proposed. He may say yes! If he’s says he’s not free Tuesday but offers a different date, he’s interested. If he says he’s not free Tuesday but doesn’t suggest a different date then he’s not interested. A clear suggestion of a date minimises vagueness.

Send the text. If he's put off by you texting him, well, quite frankly that is a bit pathetic. I used to play by "the rules" and it didn't work out too well for me. By the time I met my now husband I was so over it and I texted him every day after the first time we met, and told him what I was feeling and thinking. Luckily he was equally desperate and we are happily married for the most part.

Yes he replied and we had a general chat and said we'd meet up again soon.. OP at 22.59pm

Yep, it sounds grim.