Should I send this text? Or is it desperate?

I wasn't sure if I felt attracted to him if I'm honest...

You should probably have trusted your instinct that it didn't feel right.

I always think it should never be this difficult at the beginning. My husband was never a game player, and in the beginning, it was just easy. It didn't matter who text who first etc. One of the reasons I knew I was going to marry him. Still together 14 years later and never played these ridiculous games.
He isn't worth it, op.

OP, it's absolutely fine to ask a man out, especially as you thought you'd come across a bit unenthusiastic on the date. You now know where you stand. He didn't say no because you asked, he said no because he wasn't rabidly keen (no reflection on you). He may piddle back to you later as it wasnt an outright 'i never want to see you again' but as you say, someone enthusiastic would have said 'sounds lovely! I have something arranged on Weds but are you free on Thurs? '

On these threads sometimes you have some folk insisting that men MUST be the only proactive ones in a relationship or it will not work. They are married so nobody else knows anything. It's not true. Of course there's a balance, you don't want to chase, but asking someone out once is not chasing. The right person will be happy to be asked.

Don't regret texting him, you have done no harm by asking and atleast you know where you stand. No time has been wasted or game playing.

Sorry to hear you are disapointed though. He might genuinely be busy and get in touch at a later date ,and its a cliche saying but the the ball is in his court now. if he wants to arrange he will, I wouldn't text again.

Aw sorry OP, but at least he didn't ghost you or leave things vague. It doesn't sound like there was huge chemistry from the date anyway, so whilst it is disappointing now, better to fizzle out before you had invested more time and energy into dates.

I was coming on to say don’t text him but I see you already did. Sorry to hear you didn’t get a positive response.

I'm disappointed in him, OP. He clearly doesn't know a good woman when he meets one. Would you really want to be involved with a man who expects you to be telepathic and live your life by unwritten rules? Nah, stuff that.

In the words of Samuel Beckett, try again, fail again, fail better. Good luck, OP, you deserved better.

My husband of 23 years tried to dump me in a text after our second date saying could we just be friends. I txt back telling him I'd got enough friends thankyou. 23 tears and 3 kids later here we are. Go for it.

It’s good that you sent it! You now know it’s not going anywhere, no need to waste time pondering it. I think you did the right thing sending it.

That’s silly, it doesn’t mean women should just sit back and never initiate. My son got his first gf because he was sitting on a train minding his own business when a girl struck up a conversation with him and asked him out. They didn’t last very long but he asked the next girl out himself. Maybe if that doesn’t work out (I hope it does as she’s lovely) he might get asked again. He’s at Uni and he said he gets ‘hit’ on a lot (but he loves his gf so it’s a no).

Deleted:posted on wrong thread.

@Sugarandmoresugar10 what exactly did he say in response to your message? I'm asking because he's probably in work and might not be in position to send a long message, so it might not be a definite no, unless of course it was a definite no.

Same!

At least you know that he's not interested

Tbh if he were interested I think he'd have suggested something definite in your text / WhatsApp chat immediately after the first date

Onwards and upwards

Sorry you are disappointed - logically if he was interested in you - he'd have said yes or suggested an alternative. If not - he'll make excuses.

I don't think sending the text will have mattered other than save you a week of waiting for a communication and then another week of wondering what went wrong / should you have texted earlier etc!

You weren't sure you were attracted to him anyway so dating him had a high potential to be a waste of your time!

Sorry to hear that OP! :(
At least now you have clarity rather than sitting around wondering if he's going to text you which is frankly maddening.

He's obviously not the right guy for you (and nothing to do with your casual suggestion to see a film!), so onwards and upwards. <3

Sorry to hear that OP but at least you know now.

Myself and DH saw each other every day from our first date. We texted and met up and told each other how much we were interested. We will be married 18 years this year. No games played just being true to our feelings. Its hard if it isnt returned but better to know from the start.

If that was the case then he really is not worth seeing again anyway. Honestly, I can’t stress that enough.

I'd wait a few days!

I would have thought that if he was interested he wouldn't have said no for any reason.

This with bells on. If you're interested go for it!