Should I send this text? Or is it desperate?

This isn't always the key to a successful relationship long term though.

I think you're seriously overthinking this! You weren't even sure if you fancied him! Not the guy for you... Onwards and upwards!

When you meet the right person OP, it will be easy as you'll both naturally want to spend time together. I was bowled over at end of first date with now DH when he wanted to agree when we would meet again. I didn't actually fancy him on the first date, but the fact he was politely persistent about meeting up really helped!

I think you're completely overthinking it.

Honestly, I just think that if you both actually like each other, then nobody should be mucking about playing games. If a bloke is 'put off' by you suggesting a date to meet again, then I'd say he's not worth your time. Actual relationships shouldn't be about 'playing the game' - a man who thinks badly of a woman letting him know what she wants is just a misogynistic knob.

He was not just that into you after all. That is ok. There is plenty of fish under the sea.

I found that it you play it cool you are more desirable to men. If you are too available they lose interest. Strange species men. I'd certainly give him a week or 10 days to give him chance to contact you first.

If its a no, it was always a no, the only difference is that now younknow where you stand.

Send back a thumbs up emoji and don't message him back unless he is back in the next 24 hours with a clear plan. Otherwise he is either stringing you along hoping for better plans to pan out first or he is not motivated, neither if which are boyfriend material. Onwards and upwards.

book to go to the film yourself. It will send a subconscious message to your brain and self esteem that your life is fine without a man, they are just a nice extra x

I don't get why you think he's not interested? He might be letting you down gently, but equally he might just be at work with no access to his calendar to work out when he is free. Give him a day or so to reply, and then if you've heard nothing write him off.

He may well pop back up in a few weeks time if he's feeling bored and he knows you are interested (well, interested enough to ask him out again).

If that happens I would be inclined to say "no thanks, lots on at the moment" or something to that effect, you don't want to set a precedent of being a convenience / ego boost for him when it suits.

Honestly though OP, I wouldn't get tied up in thinking that whether you text first or not is any kind of deciding factor. If he'd been into you but just a little slow to text or shy or whatever, then he would have been delighted at hearing from you and wouldn't have cared that it was you who had texted him first.

He just wasn't into you which is fine in the end really as you weren't even sure you fancied him.

Sorry

I was going to post to say give it a few days, see if he messages you first.

On the bright side, you now don't have to spend time waiting to see if he messages or when you should message him.

Delete his number and move on!

This thread is so weird.
Like women are remembering the daft articles they read in teen magazines when they were at school and interacting with men according to made up rules.
Well done OP, now you have time to find someone you definitely fancy, who definitely fancies you back.

Men find women initiating things really attractive, so it definitely wouldn’t have been because you texted him.

After the teenage years you don’t have to worry about not texting first or waiting a certain amount of time to reply etc.

You wanted to see him again, so let him know.
Just like any other adult who is emotionally ready for a relationship/dating would do.

It’s a shame that he doesn’t seem that keen but if you hadn’t sent the text then you wouldn’t know.

Its better to find out and move on, then waste your time hoping he’ll text you and tell you how he feels.

Where on earth are you getting this rubbish from?

I'm a man, I and when dating I always appreciated honesty. If I heard a no from a woman, then I took that as a no, I certainly wouldn't be chasing after them. Why would I want to date someone who has expressed that they are uninterested.

DP was the only woman who ever messaged me first after we first met, and it was such a confidence boost to know she was definitely interested. Oddly enough that's the relationship that stuck.

Don't play games, they waste everyone's time. If you like him, text him.

Why rush to learn the bad news when you can wait for the good news to make their way to you?

Good that you know but these threads ALWAYS end the same way. If a guy is interested you will know. If you are confused he's not interested. If they like you, they are booking the next date. There are differences in how men and women behave and this is one of them. Sure it works out for some but in general if you have to ask its a no.

No sane person who is interested in someone else is going to turn down a date because, er, they were asked on a date too quickly or not according to some bullshit, made up rules.

He just wasn't interested, and at least now OP knows.

What did he actually say?

Honestly you did nothing wrong by texting. If he was really enthusiastic he would have been happy about it and arranged a time with you. Your texting him won't have made the difference. I do know how disappointing it is from years and years of dating. I got to a point where the minute something didn't feel right or the guy showed that he wasn't that interested, I would delete his number and all correspondence with him. It helped me move on and gave me a tiny bit of control back.

Yes, that's been my experience — although I'm a lesbian. I've had two long relationships in my life, 11 years and currently 21 years, and both involved straightforward communication from the start.

I now actively avoid game-players in all walks of life including friendships, business and voluntary work. I'm from a low-level game-playing family: we said what we meant, we did what we said we'd do. Anyone who can't communicate or participate openly and honestly and positively is politely phased out of my life. Game-players seek to undermine other people.

That is exactly why all the "nooo, don't do that" advice is bollocks and sounds like something out of the 1950s.

Honesty is always the best policy, whether that's being brave enough to suggest another meet or, conversely, admitting when the chemistry just isn't there.

When I started uni I was briefly seeing this guy who was showing interest in me. I was flattered by the attention but didn't real feel it. I wish I'd been more honest, as effectively I was stringing him along for 3 weeks because I sort of felt I 'owed' him for fancying me. I should have just admitted it was a drunken snog and left it there.

On the other hand, absolutely no regrets at all about ringing up my now DH day after we pulled asking him for another date 😂

When I was dating, anyone who I had to put this much thought into (Shall I text them? Do they like me? Why haven't they replied? Are they telling the truth? etc etc) never, ever worked out.

With DP it was so, so easy. He texted, rang, told me he loved me after about 6 weeks (!) and just always stuck to his word, never played games and was just honest and open. He's still exactly the same now.

If it's difficult in the start and you're second guessing and having doubts, it's unlikely to get better.