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Original poster

Has your motherhood journey been what you wanted/expected?

81 replies

Welovecrumpets · 09/05/2024 19:55

I was just discussing this on another thread and am curious.

I have 2 wonderful children who are thriving and fairly easy to be honest so I know how lucky I am, and rationally I know these are minor complaints.

My first baby was only 6 months when covid hit so most of my maternity leave was spent holed up in our flat in a heatwave dealing with a crawling and then walking baby who was bored stiff. I still feel a bit sad we didn’t really get to fully enjoy our time together, we were confined to 1 room 23 hours a day for months, hardly saw anybody, didn’t do anything. We didn’t have a garden or enough space to set up elaborate play areas.

My second baby was quite a worrying pregnancy, hyperemesis which meant I was bedbound for months, some medical concerns which took weeks of tests to put to rest, followed by an awful birth which we felt lucky to emerge from (relatively) unscathed due to negligence by the hospital who carried out an investigation and apologised. I had read so many stories about second births being better that I suppose I expected it to go well and it was very disappointing that it went so wrong.

That aside as I said my children are wonderful and I feel very lucky, but sometimes those memories just come back and bite me on the bum a little. I suppose I’m just curious to hear from others about their motherhood journey and whether it’s been what they expected/hoped for. All stories welcome, just a chat.

OP posts:
Flamingogirl08 · 09/05/2024 20:06

I think the idea of a motherhood journey is a bit silly. It is just life and we live it and get on with it.

Penguinmouse · 09/05/2024 20:05

I thought I’d get bored on maternity leave but I loved it far more than I thought. Had a tough time breastfeeding which I found quite sad, I was so intent that I would be able to do it easily so feel a bit of grief that I wasn’t able to. I love being a mum more than I could imagine.

thinkingcapon · 09/05/2024 20:05

No , not in the slightest. In short, I just don't like it. Sad to say out loud but the truth.

SpeakinginTongues · 09/05/2024 20:04

The idea of a ‘motherhood journey’ sounds like some ghastly SM soundbite. I don’t think I had one. I planned not to have children and then decided to ttc aged 39, without any particular expectations, other than hoping it would be interesting. I wasn’t able to BF, hated maternity leave, and dashed back to work early, but DS (now 12) is just gorgeous, though challenging — sensitive, restless, big emotions since birth. M really glad I did it, though. It’s great watching him grow up.

MoreDangerousThanAWomanScorned · 09/05/2024 20:01

Some yes, some no. I had quite a scary first birth and a much better second. I had three miscarriages before my first successful pregnancy, which I was neither expecting or prepared for. I breastfed like a dream. My children are both relatively easy and very healthy. The sleep deprivation of the first year with both of them drove me demented. I find balancing work and motherhood hard but easier than a lot of people do. I found working full-time with a toddler and no childcare during covid awful, especially as I was also pregnant. I've found school age more fun and easier than toddlerhood and toddlerhood more fun and easier than babyhood.

I think I've been very lucky overall but that there are things that weren't great. They're only 6 and 3, so I'm sure there will be much more to come, good and bad, that will surprise me too!

BingoMarieHeeler · 09/05/2024 20:01

In short, yes. I’ve had 9 years as a SAHM and am retraining now, I didn’t see that coming but feels good. Do not regret my SAHM years at all, and I think I had a vague vision of not being a SAHM forever so that tracks.

My births were not as I ‘expected’, but then what really did I expect? I didn’t know WHAT to expect. The aim was to have a baby I guess, and that can take many forms and have many results. Luckily my 3 came out healthy. I however have come out of it with 2 substantial issues from 2 different births.
So I guess I didn’t really realise THAT is what people mean when they say ‘your body is never the same again’.

Dont remember really having any specific expectations of the kids, but they’re above and beyond anything I could have expected.

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