Would this bother you?

I wouldn't be bothered because I trust my husband 100% and his reasoning for going with her makes total sense to me. It is worse going to events by yourself. My husband is always my first choice of companion to things like that, but if he refuses to go just because he doesn't want to then he doesn't get to insist I don't go with someone else instead.

I went to the theatre a couple of times with a married colleague. We had the same taste in shows, his wife wasn't interested in going.

We had a few great nights out. As friends. And we never had sex once!!

It was actually lucky he had been upfront. A friend of his wife saw as at the theatre and couldn't wait to tell her

I've also been to the cinema with a friends husband. Again no sex!!

I don't think it's inappropriate, I don't think OP has to work on her self esteem, I don't think it's likely the colleague has motives... But I do think just don't risk it becoming a problem when it's no hardship to go along too.

My very attractive single and in no way untrustworthy female friend and I had a conversation about this recently. She would never make a play for a married man and has many platonic male friends. She noticed one long-term male friend now seemed reluctant to spend time alone with her out drinking now he was married. She was highly offended. Nothing had been said but he was always inviting his wife or only arriving for group meets.

She said to me very sincerely that she knew I'd never have a problem with my DH staying out drinking with her. I gave it some thought (it's never been suggested so this was an entirely hypothetical scenario) and then said honestly that I wouldn't like it. I also wouldn't head out alone with my friends' husbands even the ones I've known as long as the women.

It's not that I'd think that anything would happen. But let's face it, marriages take work and leaving the door open with late night drinking is increasing the risk. She was horrified but my priority is safeguarding my marriage and family.

But he isn't talking about going with friends. He is talking about going with one person who happens to be a new work colleague he has never socialised with before and who asked him to go with her. A colleague OP does not know.
And just because you think they won't get pally wally doesn't mean it won't happen. You have no idea , nor does any one else , how it will pan out on the evening or how it will affect their ongoing interactions.

Oh, the saggy milkers!

She might be the big breasted woman from the recent thread about a woman with her large breasts on show coming round for the evening! 😂

It’s very unfair and inaccurate to paint anyone not ok with this as insecure or with a problematic relationship. My marriage is incredibly strong, I think I’m a great partner and I trust him 100%. We’ve never had a wobble and I’ve never been cheated on. For some people it’s simply a boundary and it has no dark meaning.

Yup - Read Sharon Glass - just good friends

How did she know they like the same band.

They must be quite chummy to be discussing music when they don't socialise out of work and are 'just' work colleagues.

No I wouldn’t be happy and I’d be telling him I don’t think it’s acceptable.

Agree

This wouldn’t bother me but I have male friends I share hobbies with which DH isn’t into so I’d be very hypocritical if it did!

I literally wouldn’t give it a second thought. You specifically said you didn’t want to see this band again, this colleague is another fan. DH has close female friends, at least a couple of whom I’ve never met because they live abroad, and they tend to meet up when working away.

To further clarify, my DH has female friends, but he’s known them for years and I also know them well. This is very different to a random 20-something colleague. I wouldn’t even ask for a night out with the guy at work who is my age and I’ve known for years.

Going against the grain here but if you trust your husband I'm not sure what the problem is.

Agree.

You either trust your spouse or you don’t. If you think they would be easily tempted by someone, there is a problem.

I think if you've told him you don't enjoy going and don't want to go with him, it would be nice for him to be able to go with friends! Including someone he works with who likes the same band.

If that's your boundary that's your boundary - it's up to you how you feel about it. However I don't think they'll be pally pally and getting glitter tattoos 😂

Asking for trouble!

Yeah..... that's a hard no. They're going to a concert together. Just them. A few drinks, a bite to eat before the show, matching t-shirts, matching glitter tattoos, texting each other about how much fun they had. Chatting at work about it. Making plans for the next one. All the time, DH feeling flattered, feeling a connection, feeling young again...... Haaard nooooo!

This wouldn’t bother me, I’m not insecure in my relationship and dh and I are quite open with each other.
If I didn’t like the band there’s no way in hell I’d be attending in a chaperone capacity.
Are you worried this is going to lead to something more? Because they’ve gone to see a band they both like? If so, that’s weird as you said you’ve never had any reason to not trust him.
If someone is going to cheat they’re going to cheat, be it at work or a social event.

I agree with this. It might be a bit different if the colleague had met/ was also friendly with the OP.

It’s just not the same.

It’s inappropriate – for her to ask and for him to accept. You don’t ask a married co-worker in their 40s for a night out together – you just don’t. There is no way my DH would entertain anything like this, regardless of motives. It’s just respect.

If it was a male colleague would it be an issue?

If I were in your position it wouldn't bother me in the slightest. I've no issue with my husband having female friends or sharing interests and hobbies with other people.

But you sound like your self esteem isn't great. Why is that? That's the difference for me as I know my husband idolises me and I don't feel threatened by any other women. If that weren't the case I may feel differently.

Hmmm I’d be bothered! I’ve always been insecure but lately have really started to love myself and trust that my DH loves me and wouldn’t hurt me. However I still struggle to accept men and women can be friends! I wish I could see this differently but I just can’t!!