I need my brother-in-law out of my house but it will impact on his children

If the sale had gone through get legal advice asap on selling your part or your dp buying you out. The main thing is to get away from these disrespectful people. Tell this loser to leave at the weekend with all his stuff and kids stuff.. Anything left you’ll charge him the cost of a skip or trip to the dump. The kids can stay with their mother. They are not your problem. Change the locks tomorrow as well so that this man does not have a key. Tell your dp to clear up the mess. Get legal advice on getting your part of the house so that you can start your own life.

His kids have their Mum’s house I assume. He can do the daily childcare there until he gets his own place. So a 7 day deadline to get out is more than reasonable.

I'm sure I'd want to do that if I was the OP.
BUT, how is that likely to pan out?
I think there would be a horrible ugly scene, her partner would intervene & then BIL would get his feet back under the table & she'd be the bad guy.
BIL is waiting for the move to the new place where he can have a proper bedroom for his 2 children and never leave, he's got the upper hand here and will sponge off you both for ever more.

it would be unreasonable to give him 6 weeks yes. I’d tell him he had 7 days to out whereupon the locks will be changed and his stuff will be in bags out front. And if your partner doesn’t like it tell him to fuck off too. His brother’s kids aren’t your problem

This is relationship ending territory. Your partner needs to realise he stands to lose you if he cannot tell his brother to move out. I would have gone insane by now

You need to dump your “partner” and let yy
our partner find suitable accommodation for them, their brother and his kids.

When you move, BiL will follow otherwise.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

Your partner will never have your back. Ever.

So either you move to a bigger place with him, bil and kids
Or buy partner out of the house you are in and throw bil out as the legal owner
Or sell and use your equity elsewhere.

No house is worth this stress, better to live with strangers in a rental than be taken as a mug by these two.

Pull out of the house sale right away. Sell your place and take your part of the sale to start a new life. Your dp is the same as his brother. You deserve better and that starts with you living your own life without these cf leeching losers.

Fuck. That.

Your partner has shown no interest or respect for your quality of life. No way would I be sharing my life with someone like that.

I'd be pulling out of the house move and telling your idiot partner and his freeloading brother to fuck off. Your partner's brother and his kids are not your problem. How have you put up with this shit for 7 months in a tiny 2 bed house?

This is a chance OP for you to realise where you are in the pecking order and that is right down at the bottom of the pile. Honestly I'd be cutting your losses and end the relationship.

Do you know yet why your partner's brother's relationship broke down? He sounds like a dreadful housemate and father.

Why should op move out? Just give an ultimatum, either he leaves or you throw him out. If he does not, wait til the children are not there and get this guys stuff and start throwing it out of the door. Don’t stop until he leaves, make a scene.

If you are the one to force the BIL out OP then they will blame you for whatever things go wrong in his life next. Not saying you shouldn't force him out but be ready to call them out & shut them down if they try to blame you.

The underlying issue (imo) is that your partner is happy to sacrifice your well being in order to prop up his brother. This might not change.

I thought I might be in your position with DP’s brother, but when I suggested that we might have to put the brother up for a while, DP booted it into touch immediately and never wavered. He knew the brother would drive us both spare, and refused to even consider it. Luckily push never came to shove, but I always appreciated that DP put our needs and wellbeing first.

To paraphrase something often posted here, you’re being set on fire to keep someone else warm. Your DP is being an absolute mug, and his brother knows it - and can’t believe his luck, I’d say. And to echo others here, you’ve got to bring out the big guns, OP, this is unacceptable on so many levels.

Good luck.

I know, right? Like it's that easy! Some eople haven't got a clue.

Maybe you should take the bull by the horns given DH won't. "Time for you to start looking for somewhere to live". It needs to be clear that he's not moving with you. It's an absolute sodding cheek of him. It's one thing putting somebody up while they sort themselves out but he's made no effort to find a job and will expect to move with you. You're going to have to tell him yourself but I'd be questioning a relationship with somebody who doesn't have your back.

Stressed reading this.

I’d walk.

You tell your DP either his brother goes or you do. This is your house so you get equal say. Regardless of the children being there you will need to tell him he has to go. Have you already exchanged on your onward purchase? If not I would continue with the sale split the money and go your separate ways. Your partner cares more about his brother than you so that would clinch it for me.

What an awful situation!

OP you need to take it on yourself to tell him to move out, with a concrete date/ deadline. Spell out the consequences if he doesn’t - ie his brother’s getting divorced.

Either ask him to step away from the kids or say it in front of the kids. They’ll be ok somehow. It’s not your circus to organise for him.

Tell him to present himself as homeless with 2 children to the council first thing tmw. They'll find him emergency accommodation

Somehow got a key cut ? Your DH got one cut for him .

You're not wrong!
However, as things stand OP has NO LEVERAGE WHATSOEVER, she is trapped and may have to take a hit in order to escape.

He never asked to move in, just showed up one day and never left and somehow even got a key cut!

Say what? Do you have any authority over what happens in your own home?

Just love ppl telling op to move out herself as if moving out is as easy as going to the shops to get some milk.🙄

Surely having the children 4/7 makes him primary parent, in which case he needs to present as homeless to the local council.
If he's having the children more than half the time but isn't seen as primary parent then he needs to agree with his ex that he should be or she needs to house the children.

I want to tell him to leave but can never seem to get him without the children being present
That will be a deliberate strategy on BIL's part.