I need my brother-in-law out of my house but it will impact on his children

If your partner isn’t listening, I suggest you tell his brother directly he needs to make other arrangements as he won’t be moving with you. If that causes a huge argument, so be it. If partner has to go also, maybe that’s not a bad thing. I would not be putting up with this kind of shit. Your partner does not care how you feel as he isn’t listening, so you need to put yourself first.

Why can't you afford to live alone, if you can afford half of a one bed surely half of a two bed is ok?

Why can't he look after his kids in their own /his exes home?

If he has them four nights a week why isn't he getting child maintenance from his ex who works?

Why isn't he getting universal credit to pay rent to you?

Inform your council that you are evicting him from your home. Tell them he has cuckooed you by moving in by stealth.
Get him to contact the council to report the position, and tell them he will be homeless with children.

If your DP is clearly supporting his brother over you wanting your home back, I would take that as a clear signal tbh and cut my losses.

You don’t say how far your house purchase has progressed, if you’ve not exchanged yet I would be moving out and setting-up myself.

I agree with everyone else- tell them BOTH, firmly & bluntly, that he WILL move out. If not, then you're finished with them both. I couldn't stay with a partner who would put me through this & not back me up. No way. Your MH is suffering!!

I'd make an ultimatum either the BiL moves out by next weekend or you do and the new house purchase does not go ahead. Sell your current home, move into a shared room somewhere whilst you save up a larger deposit to buy on your own. Be firm and tell your DH you don't feel comfortable in your own home. Write an eviction notice to BiL put the date he must leave by next weekend. Your BiL and his kids need to go to council with the dated eviction letter and they will likely be placed in emergency accommodation.

Why can’t your BIL look after his children in their main home? He could then rent a room wherever for himself.

Have you had an honest, supportive conversation with your BIL? I dont mean support him with free logging, I mean with compassion and practical help? Get in touch with the council, see how they can help, provide him with some direction. He may be in a very dark place.

Sod the joint decision, your BIL and DH have been relying on you not to do anything. It's your house, you go to work to earn the money which you're paying for food and lodgings for your BIL and his dc.

Just say to him 'hi BIL, we'll be moving on x date, so you need to have alternative accommodation for you and your dc as you're not moving in with us'

Mate, put your foot down. This is a completely untenable situation. Time to loose your shit properly. Working nights while your BIL looks after the kids in a small flat? Just NO, time to stop.

Worth a try

What about ringing citizens advice (do they still exist?) and ask them what BIL needs to do to get his own place - I don't know how it works for a single man & part time young children but they will know. Or ring council & see what they say he should do. He's old enough to sort himself out but sometimes situations are overwhelming - you helping him should help you get him moving.

He's had seven months to get his stuff together and not done anything. If his kids end up in care, it may be the best thing for them and the kick he needs to get his life together.

You cannot continue to be his crutch.

Couldn’t he go to the council ask for help? Two kids, say they have no where to live , so officially homeless? Maybe it wouldn’t work though as they would argue the kids could live with mum

Totally agree!

He needs to present as homeless at council saying you will chuck him out. The kids also need to go back to their mum and she needs to sort out her own childcare as she too , is taking advantage of your generosity. If she doesn't want her kids in a bedsit she'll have to find a solution won't she! They aren't your kids.

I think if my partner would not do it I would be telling them myself if I did not want relationship to end.

No resentment?!

You are quite rightly, oozing resentment!

It's just that no one is concerned with your needs.

Stand up for yourself, no one else here will.

He needs to go to the Council for emergency housing. That is his and ex-partner's problem.

But also return the children to mum to look after.

Send brother to his parents - who might re-direct him to the Council.

Don't give him 6 weeks. Focus his mind and give him 1 week.

You've been more than reasonable and over-extended for 7 months, which is not benefitting the children in any way.

Your partner is in a difficult situation but it’s his brother and he needs to tell his brother that this arrangement was only temporary and an End date needs to be agreed. Does he think he can stay living with you indefinitely?! Has he given you any ideas as to what his plans are? Also do you think he may be depressed?

Even if you manage to get your partner's brother out of the house and make it clear to him he's not moving with you, your partner could just let him into your new house and the same shit starts all over again. Tbh I'd be rethinking the relationship and pulling out of the house purchase. Your partner does not have your back, you're not his priority. Moving to a new house won't change that.

Well that looks like it's not going to happen, so you're going to have to do it.

He never "somehow" got a key, your partner clearly got one cut for him!

Why bother with all that crap. Just give him seven days to find somewhere else and in the meantime the children can not visit at all during the day. He can take them to the park if he wants to.

I'm wondering if the new house has been purchased with it in mind that it has room for 3 adults and 2 children.

If not why would the brother think that he's even able to continue living with them once the move is finalised?