To worry my son won't live up to his father's expectations

What does he mean exactly that playing table football 'wouldn't be the same' with girls? In what way? What evidence does he have of this? Why wouldn't he even try it before deciding that? I think I'd keep questioning and questioning as the answers will only lead one way (because 'girls don't like football'). Your poor kids

I have 2 boys both adults and not one is like their dad in any way.
And neither one talks to their dad they dont get on at all they have nothing in common at all.
But they get on with me we have chats go out do stuff have a laugh call text send silly pics to each other normal crap we are all very close to each other.
But to them their dad dont exist with them their choice.

It dont always work out with father and son.

Men can’t be expected to be that interested in little girls’ clothes and toys

WTF? Surely they should be interested in things that are for their child? And there’s no such thing as “girls’ toys” - for example the OP already said that her girls would love a fusbal table. Sounds like you have the same sexist thinking as the DH.

Oh, I’m sorry you’re married to a sexist pig.

You’re talking nonsense. The DH is already favouring the unborn boy and piling on expectations. Do you think the daughters don’t pick up on it? Or that the little boy will be unaffected?

His sort of sexist bullshit is why my DH has no relationship with his own father.

The main problem is that he sees his son as something to please him, something to satisfy his desires. That's not a good reason to have a child. You have to meet their interests and personalities. If that aligns with what you like to do it just makes it easier.

Nothing in the OP screams red flags to me. He’s a hands on dad to his girls who’s excited to have a son. Men can’t be expected to be that interested in little girls’ clothes and toys. He’s not been a girl, he’s been a boy so he’s excited to share what he liked with his boy..?

Fair enough to remind him that the little boy will be his own person but can’t he be excited and involved?

Honestly, I think the clothes thing is more concerning than the foosball table - used clothes were okay for the girls, but not the boy?

Yeah, girls can like foosball, but I understand why he sees it as an activity a boy is more likely to be interested in. If I’d had two boys and was expecting a girl, I would have been excited about the possibility of sharing “girl” stuff with them - jewelry making, dolls, dollhouses, books centered around girl characters. Not that boys couldn’t like those things, but the odds are lower. (I had two girls, so I was never in that situation.)

I don’t think this is a horrible situation at the moment, but I see why you have concerns.

I have 3 girls .... my OH was thrilled with all of them, but I got plenty of prattish remarks about how disappointed I must be .... unbelievable.

Your OH is being utterly ridiculous ... please feel free to tell him so.

It is these sorts of rigid expectations that have led us down the gender dysphoria epidemic route as young people have decided that they don't want to be funnelled down a narrow channel.

Your poor boy.

I have three and they're all so different. First born really has no interest in sport, the only clubs he was interested in were gymnastics and cheer. He loves reading, making Ng up plays, dressing up, dancing. Didn't like dinosaurs or robots or cars. Isn't interested in Marvel. DH loves him completely. Twin 1 is stereotypical boy- wheels, cars, footballs, mess, climbing, but he's also my absolute cuddliest, neediest child. DH loves his completely. Twin 2 is somewhere in the middle, loves order and drawing but also getting messy and being loud. DH loves his completely.

Have you called him out on the fact that he is already treating this baby differently over his two DD's? That he showing favouritism by all the examples you mention in your opening post and how that will make his DD's feel?

I think is disgusting behaviour. I feel sorry for your DD's and how his actions will make them feel.

I'm glad Iv got all boys as I think dh would have fawned over a girl. He tries to make the boys like what he likes rugby and racing but they have zero interest. They love football!

Didn't you know? Foosball-playing ability is restricted to the Y chromosome.

I hope the kid is into absolutely none of the stuff your husband wants him to be and wants to wear glitter and watch nothing but Strictly of a Saturday and totally avoid anything to do with football. This is red flag central and you need to talk to him about it before the baby is born. And as for him buying all new clothes etc for the baby and having had no interest/thought second hand was good enough for girls etc but not for "his boy"- absolutely vile. I would have absolutely no respect for this man.

My ex was the same and as it turns out DS is a total mummy's boy and doesn't really have time for his dad.

Pick up the phone and book you and your H into counseling immediately.

This is huge. Don't let it fester. It has to be addressed.

If you say so…

@Sizzle7654 don't you think it is sexist and misogynistic to treat girls unfavourably compared to a boy? To assume that a boy will like stereotypical 'boy' things and to actively discourage girls from developing those interests?
Not to mention pressuring your wife to have another child so you can have your boy! It's awful...

too late now but no way I would have gone for a 3rd. What if it had been another girl. Your poor daughters. I feel so sad for them, and the new baby. He needs to massively shake up his views of sex (biology) and gender (social construct). Kids can be whoever they want. How will he handle a male child who isn’t interested in “male” things? Or if one of your children doesn’t want to dress or act in a gender normative way. Or are gay or transgender?

Quite apart from the misogyny in this, how does this man think his daughter is going to make a good marriage if she went to the local comp? Surely an ambitious father would want his daughter to marry rich.

If you say so…

Unfortunately, there already is a problem. The OPs husband is displaying sexist and misogynist behaviours. I consider that a pretty big problem.

This is quite sad. I have a DS myself (2.5 years old) and take him to football. The amount of men I see bellowing at their boys because they’re not playing “properly” makes me sad and think those men just wanted a “proper little boy” and don’t care about their sons actual needs and wishes. You need to sit him down and discuss with him. Ask him, what if he likes pink and dolls and dancing? What if grows up to be gay or transgender? His answers will probably give you good insight into how he will treat this little boy as he grows up.

Protect your girls too. My dad had an obvious favourite and it was difficult on the children who weren’t that favourite - it still affects them to this day.

My 10 year old niece loves football. My son really isn't fussed by it! Your dh is an idiot for having such fixed stereotypes in his head, how awful for you to deal with.

He needs to remember he has 2 daughters.
My brother was the first son to be born after several generations of multiple girls on my mums side, he was treated like a God and could do nothing wrong. My mother didn't even bother to hide the fact that he was her favourite, he could no wrong in her eyes. After 60 years of it am I still bitter and resentful? You bet I am!!
Your husband needs to think on, OP

Blimey!
I hope his daughter goes on to become a surgeon, lawyer, police officer or WHATEVER but gets to the top of her game, working full time, earns a great salary, buys a house with her own money and tells her mysogynist father to stuff it.