To find this universal credit situation unfair

UC aside…

… no it shouldn’t be unaffordable for a dual income household to have two children.

The cost of childcare is completely out of control.

We should be following the lead of Europe and making childcare truly affordable for those who are willing to have children.

I am also delaying having a second child due to affordability reasons - I am not eligible for tax-free childcare or free hours, but even on a high income the commitment to £4k+ a month in childcare is scary.

It’s the cost of childcare (and housing) that’s the issue.

A fortune in Universal Credit. Do they, aye? 🤔

I am getting suspicious of all these benefit bashing threads.

It feels as though there’s a plan in action to drum up hate for those less fortunate and on benefits, to justify, and get support for impending cuts.

Look, I get where you’re coming from. I have been in both positions, I used to work full time and as a single person (I had no dependents at the time), I was working my ass off and was a massive struggle to pay my rent and bills - let alone have anything to show for it. I’m now disabled and a single parent to a four year old. Due to my chronic pain, I cannot work and have to rely on universal credit. I don’t really count pip into the equation as I still got it when I worked as it’s not means tested, but I get the disability element on universal credit. It’s not a lot to live on and I struggle but I’m very grateful as my rent gets paid as I’m in a council flat.

I see the resentment - I worked so hard and was killing myself to work for that money and couldn’t afford to pay for things yet now I’m not working but I’m in a better position? It isn’t fair. But what is the other option? To strip people like me who can’t work of the little money I do receive so working people can feel better about themselves. Strip people of finances so they’re more on the poverty line than they are now? I have no luxuries, I will never be able to afford to own my own home… I cannot afford a weekend trip away - let alone a full blown holiday. If an appliance breaks, I’d have to put it on my Argos card and count any spare penny I have to try and pay it off in the time frame. Not going to lie, I have eaten soup and toast for a week when I couldn’t afford to meal plan for myself. It’s not all great on benefits, and it’s often the people who go on holiday and can afford meals out and day trips here and there and purchase a non essential item on a whim. These are the people who moan about benefits claimants being better off when we can’t do all that and have to budget every penny and often get in debt because of it.

@Miley1967 now that is what is unfair about universal credit. Single mums are forced into work when their child is 3 but those with a partner can be a SAHM and continue to get UC.

You at least have the security in housing, renting does not give anyone that same stability. They'd probably like that and a job too.

Yes I agree with you, it is unfair. Nursery costs of £1800 to £2k a month per child. All the time being stressed and racing around trying to do everything. Not being able to try for a second when you'd like, but watching someone without these costs and pressures be able to plan their second whenever they'd like. I empathise with you, that is tough.

If you've someone in work, universal credit is generous. There was a thread on here the other day where the UC amount was equivalent to a £60k salary. And others were agreeing that they received that much also. Anecdotally, those I know on UC are better off now than they were in full time work.

The advice you've had from some kind posters about trying to be happy with what you've got is good. Ignore those saying quit your job and be a SAHM and claim. If everyone did that we'd be in even more of a mess as a country, and morally that's not right. I'm glad we have benefits but they shouldn't be able to be a choice if you're capable of working and contributing.

I hope you can work something out and good luck with ttc number 2

Do you want to be on UC yourself? Do you want your inlaws to be poorer than they are?

Yeah I agree. And there will be renters out there who for whatever reason it was just impossible to buy and they'd love to have been able to have bought. I dont think the OP is seeing the bigger picture.

@happypickle , I agree with you. It should not be a lifestyle choice to live off benefits and it should certainly not mean that you have more disposable income than those who work hard and pay the taxes that pay for those benefits. Others have said you will be better off in the long run because you will own your own home but should you or your husband require care or a care home in your old age when you die your home will be sold to pay the dept you accumulated which may very well eradicate your home’s value.
It’s wrong and it needs to change.

Of course it's unfair. YANBU.

I'd never be jealous of anyone who is renting over owning my own home, and if I was jealous I could always rent instead and leave my job
It goes both ways though. Many renters might be in a situation to buy if both couple continued to work FT and waited to have children.

Many renters begrudge home owners when often, they are renting because of the choices they made for themselves.

A fortune in UC 🤣🤣

Sure they do, bet they have a brand new car and 5 holidays a year too.

Pretty much this. The childcare years are brutal, but in the long term, you’re going to have a much better quality of life, Try not to let the apparent unfairness just now cloud that

Personally I do see your point. We live in a small 2 bed house. We don't have a back garden. This is one of the reasons we only had 1 child. Bil and sil live in a council owned 5 bedroom 3 storey new build townhouse as they have 7 children. It doesn't matter if they have multiple children as the council is obligated to house them.

However we have a mortgage so will eventually own our home which will be a huge asset in future. We will have a secure home for retirement and something to hopefully leave to our daughter. Bil and sil will probably be in council housing and never own. It is hard now but try to think of how much better off you will be in years to come.

I'd never be jealous of anyone who is renting over owning my own home, and if I was jealous I could always rent instead and leave my job.

Quite.

Another benefits bashing thread 🙄🙄

I'm starting to thing there are Tory bots doing this.

Do you want your own house do do you want to rent?

Do you want to work or be a SAHM?

Just decide what you want to do from those things and make it happen. I'd never be jealous of anyone who is renting over owning my own home, and if I was jealous I could always rent instead and leave my job.

You can have a second child but just wait until the three year funding comes in or as near to when they start school. It isn't an uncommon age gap.

Comparison is the thief of happiness.

Your situations are not directly comparable. Your mortgage is giving you a valuable asset, one that will, all likelihood, appreciate I value. The rent they get help with I'll not benefit them in that way.

You will also be in a much better financial position in the future, as your careers haven't had the gap and you will likely out earn them, and that's before thinking about pensions etc.. you are also future proofed in regards when the kids grow up and their entitlement to UC will drop and they will be behind at work and pay scales.

Try not to dwell on what they have now but focus on how much more beneficial and stable your position is.

Without a UBI there will always be some people who see the welfare system as unfair. There will always be winners and losers. Personally, I wouldn't feel comfortable relying on the state to fund one of us being a stay at home parent, however that's my choice. Each family must chose what they feel is morally ok and works for their family.

I get where your feelings come from. We receive no state help but I don't feel resentment to those who do. My future is a lot more financially secure, and that's a blessing.

Actually currently she wouldn't if her child is three and her partner earns over the AET. Obviously that might change but if a partner earns over £1437 she doesn't need to work.

Tbf life isn’t fair… and this problem is a minuscule problem compared to what life could throw at you

I understand why you feel its unfair right now. Especially if your broody. I think being broody can (sometimes) make us have irrational thoughts.

You want your little family complete with a second child. That is completely normal. However you also want to continue owning your own home and not take a career break for yourself or DH. Your gaining pension contributions and putting equity into your home. Massive benefits to yourself and family. You have made these choices. They come with lots of longterm benefits.

You could make different choices which means you could have your second child now. But it means something from above has got to give.

You would not trade anything with your SIL other than the fact she can currently have a second child now. You could have a second child now but don't want to make the sacrifices. Unfortunately you are not rich enough to pay two lots of nursery fees.

You need to decide what you really want and stop looking at other people lives and thinking it isn't fair.

No. In your case I actually think its madness you have options and when you are a mother you have to do what works for your OWN family. Why don't you work part time? Or become a SAHM too?