To be concerned with how my boyfriend acted when I was ill?

You had a cold and felt uncomfortable but make it sound like a medical emergency. How will you cope if ever you ARE “really sick”? Grow up.

Most of those medicated drinks have paracetamol as the active ingredient - it's not that hard to chuck a strip of paracetamol in your bag when you go away.

@MrRydersParlourGame

He got her paracetamol. Which is exactly what lemsip is except lemsip is paracetamol in a hot drink. So it would have worked just as well as the lemsip. She wanted lemsip, she did not need it, there was a suitable alternative

Got it one how did you guess .

Yeah so debilitating she had a cup of tea and fell back to sleep

No-one should give a fuck about your being unwell unless you are quite literally dying. Got it. 🙄

Yes I’m sensitive

my husband is still not 100%. He has lost income from not being able to work and is not entitled to sick pay, I am still catching up on sleep from not being able rest properly when he was waking me up constantly coughing, he was unable to get out of bed so everything was left to me, I lost hours at work which I am still making up due to having to do the school runs which he normally does.

using my families situation to get a cheap laugh was in bad taste but I have accepted the apology.

and thank goodness my husband (and children who caught a milder version) are now recovering.

its seems to be about who can say the nastiest thing in here sometimes.

A thirty year old needing someone else to go out and get them life saving Lemsip doesn't count . Sorry .

I wouldn’t dream of sending my partner off to buy lemsip, late at night, when they have an early start.

Do you regularly tell people their pain or discomfort isn't as bad as they, themselves, the person feeling it, thinks it is?

Quite obviously there are various level of cold and flu-like illnesses that people can experience, from the merely annoying to the actually debilitating and everything in between.

By some posters standard on here you'd think she was a woman with a condition that was fatal . She isn't , she is a young woman with a bit if a cold . Who needed some paracetamol or do the less dramatic thing and go to sleep . I dread to think what she would be like if she really needed care .
If I was him I give her a wide berth .

@MrRydersParlourGame THIISSSSS I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH THIS and have a wonderful DP that would do the same

My ex was like this, it was indicative of what he was like completely.

I'm now married to a man that I'd not have to ask. He'd have walked or driven without me even asking and made sure I had tea and food

She was very clear about what she needed from the off. He went to a place 2 minutes walk away and then gave up. That's how far his effort stretched.

When she had to ask about other pharmacies he declined to complete that same original request by driving 5 minutes down the road.

When she then asked him to at least call reception he was unpleasant and unkind and then spent very little less time huffily getting something the OP had explicitly said wouldn't help as it would have taken to go and get the thing that would have helped.

I mean, come the fuck on. If this were for my DP it would have been a quick call after the first place didn't have it to say I was hopping in the car to the other place to see if they did (/a call ahead to check) having Googled it. And that's also what I'd get if the roles were reversed. And if it really was sensibly unobtainable that evening (an hour's trip, getting up early etc), I'd sympathise, see what we could do about the discomfort that evening and make an active plan to get what was needed the next day.

I know the other PP found me patronising, and I'm sure it came across that way, but I am genuinely surprised and it genuinely makes me so fucking sad that there are so many people on here who think this minimal level effort and kindness for or from the person who is supposed to love you most in the world (or just people who love you in general) is some kind of unimaginable gold standard fantasy.

As I said before, it's nothing to do with making your partner do anything (you shouldn't need to) - it's the seeing how little they actually empathised and cared that would upset me, no matter whether they eventually did the thing or not.

I'd be suspicious of the 'hurt foot'.
Sounds like he's excusing himself so you'll be unreasonable if you're upset about his lack of help/compassion.

My husband always has a miraculous illness/injury when I'm annoyed at him, but doesn't ever mention it until after I'm annoyed.

I honestly could not be arsed with anyone making this much of a fuss over a cold. I can't imagine anyone I know sending off someone in the middle of the night to hunt down a lemsip. Anyone that did would have the piss taken out of them for years to come. Fucking ridiculous

If someone doesn't want to do this sort of small favour for you, not least when you're feeling bad and to help you physically feel better, I don't know what to tell you except they don't love you.

At what point do you start saying No? Because he had been out for her twice already. He's already made an effort. By your argument unless the other person always caves into any demand, no matter how ridiculous, they don't love their partner.

And for the record, because I've seen your replies to other posters, I've been happily married for over 20 years, but I'm not going to do everything my partner wants, no matter how they feel, because sometimes what they want is unreasonable. And vice-versa. I sometimes hear No too.

Oh you are 31 or thereabouts and needed a Lemsip or thereabouts for a bit of a runny nose and a dodgy throat ? You 31 you are not an old lady get a grip . You would be nightmare patient . I wouldn't expect a child to be that paranoid over a bit of a cold .

FGS you had a cold.
You don't immediately need medication for a cold.
A high temp doesn't make you delusional. It needs to be very very high.
If the temp is high take paracetamol or sleep it off.
Yes he was unsympathetic but you are unreasonable and princessy.

It's a cold.

Quite - certain people seem to be deliberately ignoring the fact that he did go out for her - twice - and it still wasn't good enough.

It doesn't matter if he came back with a frigging golden egg. He made the effort several times over and shes still on here moaning that she's concerned he didn't make enough effort when she had a cold!

OK. As I say, good for you.

No, you don't say any such thing or try to force someone to do anything, of course you don't. You simply know that, for you, if your significant other acts in this way - doesn't want to take care of you, doesn't want to put themselves out to make you feel better, is actuality mean to you when you're unwell - that this isn't the person for you and end the relationship at the next sensible opportunity.

You don't wheedle, manipulate, coerce, try to get them to prove the feel something they don't and try to make them be someone they're not, of course you don't. You just note the behaviour, decide if it's within the realm of what you want, and act (decisively and calmly) accordingly.

That is also called having a boundary!

You said it better than me.

Love isn't getting someone to do whatever you want no matter what. I wouldn't be going out at 11pm if I had work at 6am - especially if I'd already been out twice and been told that wasn't good enough (which is what happened here).

Can you not see the potential for abuse in this? 'If you don't go now and get me Lemsip, you can't possibly love me and I will leave you.' That's not a healthy basis for a relationship. They are both adults and someone with a cold is perfectly capable of looking after themselves.

Love also sometimes involves saying no and holding boundaries.