To be concerned with how my boyfriend acted when I was ill?

We're reading what you wrote

It depends how you want to be treated. My DH is very good when I'm sick. He treated me very well, searched for medicines on our first trip overseas before marrying, without me having to ask for it.

You had to be there. 😊

Small actions are often a big giveaway about people’s characters.

Yep. I'd say OP's actions are a huge giveaway.

@Ilovecleaning

‘I’m getting a drink, do you want one!’ Then the drink was dumped on the table where I had to reach for it.

What an absolute bastard!

There's a lot of (or condoning of) hypercritical comments about boyfriends/husbands on here, often from women claiming to have lovely respectful relationships, but this one really takes the biscuit. He asked you if you'd like a drink, he bought you a drink and 'placed' it in front of you and you are criticising him for that?! Hoping it's a joke.

What this poster was jealous of was the 'public face' of this couple which is no guarantee of what he/they are like behind closed doors.

It actually wasn’t like that at all.

That husband sounds absolutely horrendous. I simply couldn't bear it if my partner talked to me like that, all 'oh darling, would you like something? What can I do for you, darling?' like I'm a three-year-old, especially if he did it in front of other people. I'd spontaneously vomit all over him. (For the literal-minded: this is an exaggeration. I wouldn't really.) Seems to me that some of the people in this thread mistake being patronised, babied and belittled for affection and caring.

Clearly missing the point. Never mind.

"Small actions are often a big giveaway about people’s characters."*
*
Indeed. Small actions such as knowing instinctively that only a lemsip will do and nothing else, rejecting a pain killer as it has been touched by someone else, insisting a partner drives/walks to a pharmacy late at night when they have work the next morning for a minor illness, taking the huff because- during a busy day at work - they have only asked once how the OP is feeling because of their cold. Yup, I'd say small actions are a big giveaway.

The OP went to bed at 10.30pm and woke up at 10.45pm with a cold. She asked her boyfriend to go to the shop a few minutes away for 'a flu relief hot drink'.

He went to the shop, but it didn't have what she wanted. She then asked him to walk a half an hour to get the lemsip.

Talk about a princess mentality.

This boyfriend needs to run a mile.

You had to REACH for your own drink?!!.
With your own hand?! The hand!! The horror!!!

Nope. mandlerparr is not ‘nuts’. She is perceptive, can read between the lines and has got it bang-on about some people’s behaviour. I doubt she is ‘anti OP’s partner’ or has a vendetta against all men. That is laughable.
Small actions are often a big giveaway about people’s characters.

Me, too! Well put Mandleparr.

Some shitty, hard-hearted comments on here from posters who possibly have low expectations of the level of consideration and care from partners. It is surprising how you can get used to low standards and see it as the norm.

Many years ago an x and I were with another couple having a drink. It was a defining couple of hours from. Her husband was polite and attentive to his wife and me; and affectionate towards her:
Would you like another drink, darling? Anything else? The drink was brought and put down carefully in front of her with a smile.
He wasn’t OTT or soppy. He was NICE.

What did I get? ‘same again?’ ‘I’m getting a drink, do you want one!’ Then the drink was dumped on the table where I had to reach for it.

I realised what an ignorant, ill-mannered, uncaring shit I was with.

Agreed.

Do you really need me to say? 🙄

I don’t think you were being princess. High fever can make an adult very ill.
let him know you appreciated his help but would have liked it if he had been a little less grumpy. If it happens again, question the relationship. These guys dont change. Good luck.

they didn't go to the pharmacy.

When I have a cold, I wouldn't take paracetamol for a sore throat.

I get very sore throats, and take paracetamol - works every time.

This will only get worse, and as you have children and grow older, you will have ER visits, hospitalizations, diseases, and injuries in the family, and need his support. This is just life. These people don’t change. Get out while you can. Find someone who loves you.

After your princessy dying drama-llama act and then the continued victimmy sulking the next evening: “I don’t want any dinner” - I’d not be hugely surprised if OP doesn’t have a DP for much longer after their return.

You lost me with “tablets never help me anyway”. Paracetamol is paracetamol. Take it with a cup of tea if you like, you were being a princess to request the exact right type of paracetamol at 11pm in a foreign country.

She probably explained that she felt she was suffocating and practically about to die (how she felt in that moment). I think he put in a fair effort to be fair