To be concerned with how my boyfriend acted when I was ill?

He went to the local chemist AND the hotel reception at 10.45pm but only returned with a tablet and you prefer a drinky lemsip, and you think he should have gone out in the car to see if another chemist have the kind of medicine you like better?

He only texted you once a day to see if you felt OK, and you think he should have texted you x amount more times than that?

He asked you what you wanted for dinner and you said nothing, so he sorted his own dinner out, and this was a problem because...I give up, at this point, I'm lost

He sounds perfectly nice OP. Have you had bad experiences with men in the past?

when he got back I told him I didn't feel like having dinner and he went out alone to eat. Don't think he even asked me if I wanted anything

If my husband asked me if I wanted anything after I said I didn’t feel like it, I’d be frustrated that he wasn’t listening to me, and was clucking.

You deserve someone who will look after you a little when you’re ill

He did despite being in pain, and probably tired, himself

YANBU we went to visit DPs family and friends. First night he went out with the lads and the next day we were visiting his family.
He came back to the hotel after his night out to find me ill, went straight back out for meds and took me home the next day to the doctors. Not the slightest whiff of a complaint. He's honestly better at being the caring one than I am. And it's that behaviour that makes me trust that he'll look after me when I have his baby.

My ex did not look after me when I was ill, he also didn't look after me when I had his baby nor did he look after his baby. I believe they're connected.

You have a cold.

Its about goodness of fit. You might be a bit high maintenance, but to paraphrase Chandler Bing, that's fine if you have a partner who likes maintaining you.

whoever is right or wrong, its obvious that you don't belong together, I would suggest that you stop wasting each other's time.

Except she said she didn't want dinner... She's a fully grown adult (apparently) with a cold. It's embarrassing that you agree she's in the right tbh.

My partner walked for over half an hour to get me medicine, and then walked back. He didn’t drive at the time and bus service was unreliable. We had been together for 10 years then.

About 2 years into our relationship he got really ill while we were in a foreign country. Not life threatening but very unpleasant. This was in the days of Nokia so I had to ask for directions from people and try to follow them. It took me an hour but I managed to find a pharmacy and they got a doctor to come to him.

Neither of us was annoyed, just concerned about getting the other fixed.

This man is not your people.

You sound like a pain in the arse tbh, I wouldn't be traipsing out late at night for an adult with a cold. A child yes. Also a hot shower would have cleared your nose and probably been a lot more useful than a cold and flu sachet.

And when he did help it wasn't good enough for you, you still moaned. Honestly 🙄

Jesus wept you sound like hard work.

Grow up and keep paracetamol in your bag.

YANBU.

Couples help each other when they feel unwell. They certainly do the basics like ask if they've eaten.

You don't sound at all princess-y.

Gosh the fact that all these replies haven't helped you see this from a different perspective is a red flag. I'd never expect my partner to do this for me, especially if I was the one joining on his work trip.

It's not uncommon for those who've been through things to develop similar traits themselves. After three attempts to help you, at night, in a foreign country, checking up on you from work, all this being on HIS work trip and your perspective is HE'S the selfish one. Very toxic behaviour

sorry but you sound dramatic. Maybe this is because it’s coming from someone who spent 16 years having to power on through illness as a single parent, but even so, it’s not something that required immediate medical attention, yeah you would have had a crap night but not in immediate danger, so t could wait until morning.

My DH would have gone out to get me the medicine, especially if it was only 5 minutes in what I assume is Canada.

"Today he texted me at work to see how I am only once and when he got back I told him I didn't feel like having dinner and he went out alone to eat."

He text to see how you are but it was "only once"??? He's at work!!! You've got a cold!!! What do you want him to do? Pull a sicky to wipe your nose for you?! As for going out on his own, he was probably sick of sitting in a hotel room listening to whinge and demand stuff of him.

"At that stage he was getting really mean to me, making comments like 'I want this over with, let's get you a medicine and be done' etc."

Yeah, that's not mean.

"I explicitly told him that I was really struggling and really needed some medicine."

FFS. It's a cold. You needed some lemsip. Get a grip of yourself.

"I'm not a princess"

I beg to differ.

YANBU, he has shown that he can’t be relied on in sickness.

I’ve just had a bad cold and the only drinks I wanted was Lemsip and hot chicken broth as water didn’t ease the pain. DH would go out in the middle of the night to get medication if needed.

DH only wants Lucozade and grapes when he has a bad cold. Makes no sense to me but I just go out and get it for him as he won’t take any medication.

Are you this dramatic in other areas of your life too?

I think he should be running from you😂

I think op means 'delirious'

She had a runny nose and a sore throat, hardly the same

Run.

I was sick a few months ago, ended up puking and shitting myself all over the bathroom and my husband of 7 years cleaned it all up and made me food when I couldn't get out of bed. I was so embarrassed

That's just my standard, I'd do the same for him.

Those two guys must have been great then!

1. The OPs partner went out TWICE to try and find her 'lemsip' (late at night in another country).

1. Couldn't find lemsip but brought back an alternative from reception... which the OP rejected due to 'lack of expiry date' - although if her claims of being 'delusional' at this point are true, I can't imagine she would actually be in any kind of state to be 'checking expiry dates'!!

1. He checked on her the following day whilst working - which wasn't good enough for the OP apparently 🤷‍♀️

1. He offered to take her out for dinner...she said she DIDN'T WANT dinner, so he went alone (you know...after being at work all day and needing to eat!).

1. He got an ear bashing for not asking her if she wanted dinner...erm...he did ask her and she said she didn't want dinner! (Even by mumset standards this is a pretty fucked up 'gaslighting' situation! How was he wrong here? He asked. She declined. He was told he should have asked!! 😮)

So if you're saying that your 2 previous partners would have done all of this for you...then good on them 👍

The only thing I agree with is that I wouldn't be taking random, unsealed tablets either, that's just stupid.

But other than that, you had a bit of a cold. Complete overreaction.

Exactly this. Paracetamol is paracetamol. It might be metabolised more quickly in liquid form, but it's still the same medication, with the same effects.

Also, you were delusional from such a high temp but a cup of tea fixed everything. Really? I think there was some high drama going on here.