To be concerned with how my boyfriend acted when I was ill?

It wasn't a 30 minute drive each way. It was 30 minutes if he walked.

Also 10.30 is not that late

11pm is not that late. One poster calls it "the middle of the night" but it certainly isn't.

This all started at 10.45, I think OP is stretching the truth a bit at It wasn't even 11pm unless BF is bionic! If you are getting up at 6.30, then it's late IMO. Assuming OP is being accurate, he'd probably be going back to bed around 11.30 at the earliest, so six hours sleep max. Wherever they are there is going to be a time difference, so there body clocks will be out - by about 5-8ish hours if in Canada. I'm sure if he thought OP was seriously ill he wouldn't have thought twice about getting medical care/going to hospital at that time.

I'm in the minority and think his behaviour is absolutely unacceptable. Leave now.

Driving for 5 minutes to get you medicine is such minimum effort. Feeding you and making sure you have tea/water is basic humanity.

You are not a princess and deserve much better treatment.

Having work and being late is irrelevant. It's a lousy excuse as is his hurting leg.

when i’m ill, i really do try and do absolutely as much myself and would only ask for help if i was at death’s door

single parent syndrome i guess

He did go out - twice. She had a cold, not a migraine or fibromyalgia, she had an entire day to go to a chemist but chose not to, 11pm is very late when you're tired and working in the morning.

I would not expect my DH to go out to find me medicine but he certainly would if I asked.

Been married 44 years and DH is always kind and considerate if I am ill. I suffer badly from migraines and I have fibromyalgia so am ill a fair amount.

11pm is not that late. One poster calls it "the middle of the night" but it certainly isn't.

The other bit I noticed was:

I tagged along as he wanted me to

Sounds so passive: "I'm doing what he wants". OP must have gone because actually she wanted to I assume? Taken with the other comments OP sounds a bit of a Marvin. I met up with OH when he was working abroad a few times and I was thrilled (to go and that he wanted me there).

Op, it think other posters are right that in the early years of a relationship he should be putting a bit more effort in. Others are also right in saying that, in isolation, it’s a bit of a non-event not necessarily worth ending a relationship over.

I found it interesting that you mentioned your neglectful and abusive childhood. It sounds as though not being looked after by your partner while sick (a time when most of us feel more vulnerable) has been a bit of a trigger for feelings of neglect in the past.

You probably need to think a bit more deeply about how your upbringing is still effecting you and what you want from a relationship going forward.

It may not be a ‘red flag’ but it’s also ok if that is not what you want from a partner. Some said what will he be like when you are pregnant or with a newborn. Do you think if the situation was more serious he would still be blasé or that he would be more caring? Perhaps you could discuss how you felt and why and see what his response is and go from there.

Do you have a chemist open at 10.45pm near you? I don't think I do.

You had a cold, he was working, you had all day to get meds, you waited till nearly 11pm to ask him to go out - which he did - after a cup of tea you went to sleep.

Those are the facts you've presented.

You're being dramatic.

At 11pm, in a foreign country it's probably as easy to get the "special" drink as you call it as it is to get some honey and a fucking lemon. Come on now!

You had a cold, why couldn’t you have dealt with it yourself?

@Vlop if travelling to another continent then it's a good idea to take basic medication (like flu medicine) with you. In case you need it at 10.45 at night in a place you don't know. He went out looking for it for you - that's actually very good of him.

He texted you once at work today to check on you. Any more than that, most people would find annoying so I don't know why you expect more?

This is sad, I’ve just noticed the OP saying she grew up with abuse and neglect. So if there are lasting trauma issues I don’t think the pile on from the usual mob will help at all. 😢

When you love someone, you want to take care of them. It’s only natural. My husband would have driven to the chemist and would have brought me hot soup (without me having to ask). Such normal behaviour. Being sick is awful. They say you need to date long enough to see each other in illness. He’s seen you sick and you’ve seen his reaction. Proceed with caution.

You’re not that vulnerable if a cup of tea sorted it.

More likely the OP has lasting trauma issues around her childhood.

I could empathise with you, but this bit jumps out at me:

Today he texted me at work to see how I am only once

How many times do you expect him to contact you at work to express concern for your welfare?

OK

nah not really, I just get on with it

It can change very rapidly. I’ve witnessed recently my husband gasping for breathe with congestion from a cold which went to his throat. It was scary and we needed an ambulance.

I wouldn’t downplay how awful some seemingly normal cold symptoms can turn

When I’m feverish and fluey and finding it hard to breathe I feel pretty vulnerable, don’t you?

This is an example of bottles of 100 paracetamol based medication available on Canadian Amazon and no doubt in every corner drugstore. That will be why the tablet was not in a blister pack.

I remember bottles of 100 paracetamol being on sale in the UK when I was a kid in the eighties.

And this is what is princess behaviour.

She was "very sick" for 2 days but only asked for medication at 10.45 at night on day 2
She had been in bed 15 minutes at this point
The medication she wanted was neither necessary or would have really helped her breathe......nasal congestion does not stop you breathing you just have to breathe through your mouth or blow your nose!

OPs expectations of what is available where and when are ridiculous....as well as her expectation of what over the counter medication will actually do for her symptoms....which is not much.
It's not reasonable to expect a 24hr pharmacy within walking distance and she was not ill enough to warrant one.

He was also in pain and not demanding she go out looking for painkillers for him.

I don’t think she asked for a random pill. Did she?

You are missing the point. He went down to get it and came back with it. If she didn't want to take it then that's not his fault or problem