To be concerned with how my boyfriend acted when I was ill?

I understand why you are sensitive about it but the post landed differently for those of us who were not in the same situation as you. We got it. Although, I actually don’t want to make fun of op because she just wanted her partner to care about her and he didn’t seem to do so. I’m not saying it was right to have him traipsing around in the middle of the night but he just doesn’t sound that loving.

Are you always so patronising?

I don't need (or want) anyone to go out at 11pm for me when they have work the next day just because I have a bit of a cold. Even if DH offered I would tell him not to be so bloody daft and to just go back to sleep.

Look, if you're happy with that as a standard for your closest relationship, good for you.

I'm not going to argue with you about it, but that's not love or care to me. My close friends and I would do this for each other, and treat each other with kindness into the bargain, let alone the person I have children with and plan to spend the rest of my life with.

I genuinely hope you find someone who treats you like that at some point in your life.

If someone doesn't want to do this sort of small favour for you, not least when you're feeling bad and to help you physically feel better, I don't know what to tell you except they don't love you.

What a load of bollocks 😂

Love doesn't mean making anyone do anything for you or prove anything to you.

Love comes from the other person who wants to take care of you and do small things and go at least marginally out of their way to help you feel better. Because they love you.

If someone doesn't want to do this sort of small favour for you, not least when you're feeling bad and to help you physically feel better, I don't know what to tell you except they don't love you. They may have decided out of habit, duty, social pressure or cold rationality to combine their life with yours in some way (financially, to make a family, to maintain a home etc.) but they don't actually care for you as a person.

Possibly they are too selfish to actually love anyone or possibly they're just not that into you, but 18 months in to a relationship, either is a great reason for walking away!

Of course your DP should go and grab you medicine a 5 minute drive away, as should you for him, as you should for anyone you actually love and care about. They should be appreciative in return and return the favour when the roles are reversed.

Actually, I think that love also means being considerate of your partners' needs and not sending them out at 11pm when they have work the next morning for something that's really not remotely essential.

I also think a grown adult is more than capable of planning in advance and thinking "I feel a bit rotten, I'd better grab some paracetamol on my way home" not "I'll wait until I feel really shit then get someone to do it for me".

Love does not mean making someone go out of their way for you just to prove a point.

*crack on!

Oh my GOD, what is with the vote and weird comments on here?

Haven't any of you ever been loved? Why do you have such low standards?

Of course your DP should go and grab you medicine a 5 minute drive away, as should you for him, as you should for anyone you actually love and care about. They should be appreciative in return and return the favour when the roles are reversed.

Jesus.

You find out who a person really is by how they behave when the chips are down and you're vulnerable.

Here's a man who will never pull his weight if you have children (who, by the way, are also inconvenient with their illnesses and other needs on a regular basis!), will be unpleasant to you through pregnancy, will never be a reliable partner willing to pick up the slack if you are unwell or otherwise indisposed and is fundamentally not a kind person.

If you're happy with all of that, by all means cream on. If not, for the love of God, throw this one back!

Well I wouldn't go on holiday or any trip with you.
Demanding and petulant, over virtually nothing.
Since you are so prone to these ailments, why not travel with medication?

Were you attention seeking as you resented the whole trip?

If she felt like she was suffocating from anything beyond a stuffed nose she needs a hospital.

She wanted cold meds not an ambulance.

I don't think it's crazy to assume she was stuffed up.

When you have a runny nose and cold then lay down what happens to you?

Then I apologise for causing you distress I'm afraid cancer makes you laugh at the strangest things others would think macabre but my support group thrives on it so I guess we've become a bit blind to it.... apologies again.

Delirious!! That’s the word I was looking for!! Delusional works well here though…

But according to the OP, she'd been 'very sick' for two full days, so why hadn't she made sure to get some medicine in at some point during that time?

Duh...

He went out twice for her and did get her some medicine but she refused to take it because she only wanted lemsip. In a foreign country. At night. 🙄

Maybe think before post. Using our awful stressful situation to quip at the OP.

You’re not funny in the slightest

I'm not saying it was funny I can only imagine how scared you were but why can't you see it was a quip at the op who claims to be suffocating, delusional (aka delirious) with fever and cured by tea.

Then as a capable adult, you should plan ahead and get your medication before you actually need it.

Duh 🙄

Feeling suffocated ergo blocked nose from laying down with a cold can't breathe sit up jesus it's a cold that's what colds do....if she had been suffocating she wouldn't be googling or up to drinking tea for god sake....the fact she woke in the morning shows what it was .....she's never ill so makes a mountain on the rare occasion she's off colour normal people get on with it.

She had all day to ask him for medicine though, why wait until 11pm?

No, of course it's not going to kill her but a caring person would get her some medicine if she felt rough.

Some colds really make you feel bad and are not just the sniffles.