AIBU to take DC's football coach down a peg or two?

Make a formal complaint then find another team. Why would you want your daughter to be in a team where "she visibily shrinks and doesn't play to her ability"? They are 7 years old!! It should be fun for them.

Find another team, though the 'win at all costs mentality' is all too common. Unfortunately, far too many coaches from all age groups act like they expect to get the England call up!
I view it that when the club pays the players, they get to choose the 'best' and when you pay subs, you all get equal minutes. It doesn't matter if you are 7 or 57.
We wonder why so many drop out of sports. This mentality encourages dropout, not engagement.

Why have you put up with an adult shouting at a 7 year old? Why do you need the Internet to tell you thats absolutely not on for one week never mind all season

coach wants rid of you 2 not particularly your DD

You say your daughter visually shrinks. She's 7? To be honest I think yabu to not pull her out of the club ages ago. Find her another club or sport where she flourish's, not shrinks.

Is/does the coach shout at her specifically- in which case surely you'd want to change to another team. If that's the general way the whole team is treated and you don't like it, then it sounds like you should leave. If you feel your child is not being played 'fairly' then it sounds like you should find a new team. All up seems leaving/ being asked to leave is the best thing for your daughter.

I don't know enough about the rules, to know where it states that all players must have equal match time. At what age? Until when?
I Had this with ds1, years ago. A bit older say 15, he was just getting no match time at all so quit. It's hard, but it is competitive, most coaches will play their best players, because they want to win.

This is one of the reasons I've never liked football as a kids out of school activity. Too much shouting all round. Idk I'd just leave. I had a couch threaten my son with violence in gymnastics and the owner just gave me a lecture on ruining the couches career. Even when I pointed out its my duty to belive him and report an aligation, she had zero interest in considering it anything but a lie. The more competitive the club, the less they care about the child. My next son went to non competitive gym and there was never any issues. In the case of gymnastics, forcing girls to stay tiny and eat next to nothing starts somewhere, like the adult owners who got successful by eating nothing but a tin of Sweetcorn a day and being shouted out and threatened.

The couch won't ponder on the comments.

Sounds like your DH caused a scene and they want you out. Nothing to do with your DD and all to do the parents. It's a 7 year old child casual football team, was a public confrontation over player times necessary? All sounds very dramatic and "dance moms".
If you didn't like his coaching and your DD was scared you should have removed her and addressed this months ago.
Complain if you feel it is necessary and choose another team or another activity. I don't think you need an explanation- It's very obvious why you've been asked to go.

“All season I have watched my daughter endure the shouting from her coach, she visibly shrinks…”

YABVVU for not addressing this sooner.

This. She doesn't sound happy in the team anyway.

There should be a clear difference in children's coaching and this person is behaving as though these are adults.

Leave and complain.

I would email the club welfare officer but find a better team. My DD plays under 8's and our coach tries to ensure all the girls have equal time on the pitch.

We played a team recently who only selected their 6 best girls for the match the rest of the team didn't even come to the game. I thought how sad the girls on that team must feel and how will they ever improve if they don't get any playing time.

Complain and leave - Sport at this age suppose to be fun

Leave quietly but email the club welfare officer

Ha ha yes this

They generally coach voluntarily

All season I have watched my daughter endure the shouting from her coach, she visibly shrinks and doesn't play to the best of her ability as she hates being shouted at.

In that case I would be asking the coach why he needs to shout, and why he needs to intimidate young players who are keen to play.

I would show my daughter that things can be questioned.

OP move clubs to one that follows the guidelines but do flag your concerns to the welfare officer at this club: we have one like this near me. Girls leave in droves & teams rarely last more than a year. Their culture is all about winning and focus is on selective boys teams from age 6

Tricky one- yes, the coach should be offering equal playing time to all kids - it’s possibly not always easy/practical to offer exactly the same playing time, but it should be at least roughly equal.

However, this stands out to me “DH dared to publicly challenge the coach on unfair playing minutes which resulted in DD being cut off and DD out of the team”

If your DH publicly challenged the coach, it sounds like relationship between the coach and yourselves has broken down. The coach may not have been fair, but he is a volunteer, and to publicly challenge a volunteer coach seems unreasonable to me. A quiet word to see how things could improve going forward would seem better to me.

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all and you should definitely make a complaint to the FA.

Coaches should not be yelling at 7 year olds and ruining their confidence. They should also be making sure that all players get fair and equal pitch time at this age. Children should not be dropped from teams at this age unless they persistently don't go to training or don't bother to turn up for matches.

The coach sounds like an A-hole

At that age the commitment isn't huge. Maybe 1-2 hours a week.
The coach maybe a volunteer but should have done at least the on line training to stop this situation.
It's farcical that 7 year olds are benched to win a game for which scores aren't linked to anything. No league tables etc He's not coaching the kids. He's massaging his ego

If the coach scared her find a new team

Grass roots football, so the coach is a volunteer? I guess one solution would be to
volunteer as a coach yourself to balance out his apparently competitive nature. Like good cop, bad cop. Nurturing coach and competitive coach.

it is a huge commitment though, which is why not many people step up to do it.

The situation is very wrong and breaks all guidelines re foundation football

Seriously she's not. The child is 7
In FA accredited football there are very very clear guidelines on how development age football should run. The coach is treating 7 year olds like adult players.
OP you are right that this situation is very wr