Got pregnant early in a new relationship partner funny about abortion.

@leavingabusetoday Well done for standing up for yourself and getting rid of this charmer!

You are a wonderful mum thinking of your kids and what’s best for your family.

@leavingabusetoday Wish you luck

You've had a lucky escape

Hope you feel much better afterwards and are also looking forward to the rest of your life free of this man. He has shown you who he is - believe him.

He already has children. You only been with him for a short period. You have decided that having another child is not right for you or the 2 children you already have. You considered your life and kids life going forward. I would have done the same in your situation.
I know he is not happy with your decision but after this you need to use 2 forms of contraception as you don't want to end up in the same situation again.

Him calling me ‘evil’ would increase my resolve to have a termination.

A woman is not evil because she fails to fulfill a man’s desire. He has no right to demand that she does. Feel sad, yes. Feel the loss, yes, but not blame her. I would see nothing but red flag in that and run from a lifelong connection (through shared child) from him.

100% ‘your body your choice’ , and you appear to have taken the responsible decision for your children, for his, and for your future life.

He has every right to feel sad and upset, but not to blame you for any decision you might have made, and certainly not to call you evil. He needs to take responsibility for his feelings around this.

Including thinking about bringing new children into a set up based on a rose tinted fantasy (an unproven solid relationship) where existing children and (usually primarily) their mothers pick up the impact.

Obviously you shouldn’t take his ´evil’ comment to heart. It’s a difficult decision to make when you have other children to consider. I do think that comment is an indication that he feels too strongly about this to forgive and continue the relationship.

I don’t think he’s going to get over it OP. I think your relationship won’t recover.
It’s your body and your choice and it sounds like you made the right choice for you and your children.
That doesn’t mean he has to forgive you.
It sounds like he already saw this pregnancy as his child. And you chose to prevent that child growing and being born.
I think it’s extremely difficult for a relationship to continue when a couple strongly disagree about what action to take when an unexpected pregnancy happens.

Agreed. It's only been a few months, far too early for them to have babies together and OP totally made the right decision. For him to call her evil and not listen to her very valid reasons would make me reconsider the relationship.

The most important thing I'd do now though is to make sure my contraception was sorted so it doesn't happen again

It's why birth control was invented.

OP, this happened to me a few years ago. It was only a few months into the relationship. We were in lockdown, I wasn't earning much money and I was in my early 20's. I wasn't sure what to do and my ex bf and his mother were harrassing me everyday about not aborting. He told me "if you abort then I can only see you as someone who killed my baby" "if you do this then you're a baby killer" etc. I aborted after thinking things through and the verbal abuse continued for a few days but not being attached to that guy was the best thing. Best of luck, OP.

Saying someone is evil isn't a feeling, it's an action. He's entitled to be angry, he's not entitled to abuse OP. It's a distinction that many people seem unable to grasp.

Your choice of course but what were/are your contraception methods? Why were you both not using decent contraception to avoid being in this situation? I appreciate that contraception fails sometimes but using both oral & condoms will protect against STI's & pregnancy.

Your body, your choice, and it would have been your future should he have decided to fuck off or to not be an equal parent.

Yes, he has a right to be disappointed and sad. But he does NOT have the right to call you 'evil' and say you messed him around. Chances are you would have been the one whose life would have changed the most and whose children would have been most impacted. Statistics indicate that in these situations it's the woman with whom the child lives and the father's whose life doesn't change all that much. Add into that the fact that it was 'early on' and chances are great that you would have ended up raising this child on your own.

Be at peace with your decision. Realize that his comments are big red flags. And proceed with caution.

“My new parented is saying I’m eveik I medsed him around I care about everyone but him.”

if your new partner is saying you’re evil then 🚩🚩🚩. I would take that as confirmation that you’ve made the right decision and run away now. It’s one thing to express disappointment or want to open a discussion about whether this is a permanent decision or if it’s something you might feel differently about after several years together etc but name calling and guilting you is a bullshit way for him to behave. Lucky escape.

It is obviously your right to have an abortion but you don’t have any right for him not to feel very upset about it and would totally understand him even no longer wanting to be in a relationship with you

It is your decision and you need to do what you know is best.
But he is allowed to be upset, sad and even angry. All you can do is keep lines of communication open and hope he comes round, if he doesn’t though it’s not your fault or responsibility.

You can’t take back that early unguarded excitement @leavingabusetoday. You both had a shock and got carried away in the moment. Keep talking to each other and hopefully he’ll see that you made the right decision for you all.

You were naive and silly to get swept along with a fantasy of having a baby in a very new relationship when you have children already - but now you've made a sensible decision and it's your right to do so. He's got children, it's hardly taking away his only chance to be a father!

Your choice is reasonable and sensible.
I would be prepared though for your relationship not to survive this.

It is your body your choice but put yourself in his shoes. He thought he was going to have a baby with you. It's completely your choice to change your mind but he must be absolutely devastated.

You're not evil in any shape or form, he is just lashing out.

I see both sides but definitely your body/decision x

Why would your family stop talking to you if you had another baby? They sound controlling. Even if it may not be the best situation, people should keep that to themselves and support their family.