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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want DHs toys all over the fkn living room?

256 replies

BeepBeepYh · 08/05/2024 16:51

DH is a geek. He collects figures, lego, character statues etc.

When we had a smaller house his stuff was all over the living room. Shelves of them, cabinets, on the mantle piece etc... It caused a fair few arguments.

We've moved to a new house and there's a small room upstairs that's currently got boxes in that haven't been unpacked /sorted that we agreed would be his room for his collection.

He can put shelves up, lights, a cabinet. Anything he wants as long as the door shuts.

It's been close to a year and he's not sorted the room out.

His collection is all still in boxes in that room and the loft.

Only since we moved he started a new collection. A certain series of figures and he's been buying them.

He must have bought 30 of them.

My livingroom sideboard has been filled with the empty boxes (he won't bin them) and the shelves I put up in an alcove has been taken over by the figures.

My kids are all teens now and I was really looking forwards to having a 'grown up' living room.

I said to him yesterday that he needs to move all the toys and set up his room.

He says that I have things on the shelves so why can't he? My things are picture frames, dried flowers, ornaments and candles.

It's hardly the same is it?

It's not like I'm saying he can't collect them. I don't give a shit. I'm just asking that he sorts the room upstairs out so he can put them all on display there!

He said that it's not fair that I've got the living room and bedroom for my stuff (I've got absolutely nothing on display, I just want a NORMAL living room and bedroom that doesn't look like ToysRUs. It's not like I collect things and have all my stuff everywhere. I just want a minimal bedroom after decades of toy clutter) and he has to just have the office room.

I said most blokes would love have a whole mini room to have their own space and the living room or bedroom isn't the place for his collection.

AIBU?

Imagibe 30 x 6" marvel figurines stood on your living room shelf??

OP posts:
AppleKatie · 08/05/2024 17:24

I would say fair enough equal numbers then- I have 3 candles, 1 bouquet and 2 ornaments so you can have 6 figures. I dust mine weekly so you do yours and if either get dirty they get relegated upstairs.

Fakingitnotmakingit · 08/05/2024 17:24

I'm an avid LEGO collector and display most of my builds in my office, some in spare bedroom and rest in my son's playroom. I like a "grown up" living room so the only time LEGO makes it into the main living room is when the house is decorated for Easter, Halloween or Christmas and the associated builds come out of storage.

I have a very accommodating husband who likes to display his own crap collectibles in his man cave.

Shetlands · 08/05/2024 17:23

Just move all his toys upstairs and tell him it's a break-up issue for you - that's how much you want a 'normal' living room.

It might sound extreme but I honestly couldn't live in house where the living room was cluttered with toys of any kind. When my children were small most of the toys lived in their bedrooms or in a wooden chest downstairs (rotating what was downstairs). I definitely couldn't live with plastic figurines everywhere.

The compromise could be that you only have things on display in the living room that you both agree on. If that means empty shelves then I'd rather live with that to be honest!

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 08/05/2024 17:23

Your things on display is just normal decoration

His things on display is a hobby. A collection isn't decoration. He has his own hobby room. Totally normal to ask him to store stuff there

Anotherparkingthread · 08/05/2024 17:21

Your husband is a hoarder. Of course he can't see he has an issue. You need to set firm boundaries or your house will end up filled with shit. Just because it's not rubbish doesn't mean it's not hoarding. What will it look like if these collections grow at the same rate for 10 or 20 more years? Don't let him take over the entire house you have been fair giving him an entire space to keep his shit.

BeepBeepYh · 08/05/2024 17:19

GalileoHumpkins · 08/05/2024 17:14

I like the sound of your husband's stuff more than I like the sound of yours. Our living room kallax is full of Lego and figures, mostly mine!

That's good if you both like that stuff.

I don't hate it myself. I've gotten lego for my birthday before and bought some figures from movies I've liked.

But his level of collecting isn't the normal limit.

You couldn't function in a room with that amount of stuff in.

Hence a separate room that won't be disturbed by kids, animals etc

OP posts:
hoarahloux · 08/05/2024 17:18

If it's Funko Pops YADNBU. Those things are hideous.

wanderyears · 08/05/2024 17:17

ick...

JuiceBoxJuggler · 08/05/2024 17:17

As a man, I do agree with you. I have a room/office where all my gaming stuff goes and all my stuff that isn’t really for the living room.

Have another chat, perhaps at most offer him a spot for a couple but not what your image portrayed.

Revelatio · 08/05/2024 17:17

Have a shelf each in communal areas, then everything else (both of your things), need to go somewhere else.

AGodawfulsmallaffair · 08/05/2024 17:15

Seriously, put that shit in a box and dump it upstairs. If he doesn’t like candles and flowers, dump those too, but at least they aren’t toys.

Nanny0gg · 08/05/2024 17:15

Seriously, how many adults really want to live in a toyshop?

GalileoHumpkins · 08/05/2024 17:14

I like the sound of your husband's stuff more than I like the sound of yours. Our living room kallax is full of Lego and figures, mostly mine!

KeepYourFingersOutOfMySoup · 08/05/2024 17:12

That would drive me bonkers op.
I think the only answer is comprise - 2-3 favourites in the living room or whatever will fit on a certain shelf or area. Don't exceed the same volume with your own personal choices - I'd exempt family photos and any else obviously 'family' rather than 'yours'. Good luck!

Pomegranatecarnage · 08/05/2024 17:10

I had a husband like that once. I love having no figurines out now we are divorced!

Roundandroundthegard3n · 08/05/2024 17:10

Id just take all the ones from the living room and put them in his room.

Motnight · 08/05/2024 17:10

BeepBeepYh · 08/05/2024 17:08

This is the sort of thing I'm talking about.

And please bear in mind I've had this for 20 YEARS.

20 YEARS I've had these all over my living room.

We've moved to a bigger house for more space and he's got a whole room for this stuff :(

That's your problem, Op, now that there's more space it's just going to mean more crap.

Runnerduck34 · 08/05/2024 17:10

Boxes in the loft or garage.
He can keep his most special figures downstairs but I'd limit number so if you have 6 ornaments- he has 6 figures.
Then the rest in his hobby room.
I mean considering he's got a whole room dedicated to his hobby he is being unreasonable and taking up more than his fair share of space.

BeepBeepYh · 08/05/2024 17:10

If we still lived in the smaller house with no where else for them to go then fair enough.

But he AGREED to the small room upstairs for the figures before we moved.

So it's no surprise.

But he's just not sorted it out so has started displaying in the living room

OP posts:
Bjorkdidit · 08/05/2024 17:09

^He says that I have things on the shelves so why can't he? My things are picture frames, dried flowers, ornaments and candles.

It's hardly the same is it^

It really is. A Marvel figure is just as much as an ornament as the things you like to display. I don't particularly like Marvel, but can see that there's no objective difference between the things he likes and the things you like.

Hadalifeonce · 08/05/2024 17:09

They would all be up in his room in the blink of an eye. He would also be on notice that if they find their way back down, they might find their way into the bin.
I would hate to live with a load of toys in the sitting room, even when the children were small toys were in the playroom, not the adult space.

BeepBeepYh · 08/05/2024 17:08

This is the sort of thing I'm talking about.

And please bear in mind I've had this for 20 YEARS.

20 YEARS I've had these all over my living room.

We've moved to a bigger house for more space and he's got a whole room for this stuff :(

To not want DHs toys all over the fkn living room?
OP posts:
Dramatic · 08/05/2024 17:08

I think a fair compromise would be that he can have a couple of his favourites in the living room but the majority need to be sorted in to the spare room

Needmorelego · 08/05/2024 17:07

@BeepBeepYh maybe you should take over the room if he hasn't used it.
Put a sofa or whatever in there.
Or just move all his stuff into there.
Give him one shelf in the living room and he will have to rotate.

mewkins · 08/05/2024 17:06

Verv · 08/05/2024 16:59

I think if you cohabit you should both be able to have your things on display in communal places.

Also, this sort of thing is why I wouldn't live with anyone 😂

Hahaha. Agreed. I would hate to have someone's crap everywhere