To not want DHs toys all over the fkn living room?

Yeah, but unless you were very wealthy, I can’t imagine that your average Joe Blow would have been able to afford loads of model trains and loads of ships in bottles, taking up loads of space. OP’s DH seems to have his figures in every nook and cranny of the house.

Question about the room that’s been designated for his stuff. Is there room for furniture in there, or is it basically a big walk-in closet/storage facility?

I collect dolls (American Girl, Barbie, and Rainbow High), and while his collection shouldn’t be taking over your house, part of the fun of collecting is displaying it. People want to be able to see at least part of their collections around them, not just walk into a storage room in order to stare at it.

What are your thoughts about a few small displays in some of the less formal parts of the house? A row of figures on the kitchen windowsill, or a bookshelf, or next to a closet?

Everybody blathering on about how they just can’t understand how any real adult could like figurines reminds me of the C. S. Lewis quote:

”To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.”

Didn’t some men used to have model trains and ships in bottles? This is the modern version.

What does he say when you remind him that he agreed to use the spare room for these?

He sounds like a hoarder if he has a loft and room upstairs full of boxes which he has not yet sorted out and is still buying more. No way would I put up with that. My DH has a hobby room upstairs which is choc a bloc with stuff and he is also a geek but more with tools, modelling rather than buying ornaments etc. In your position I would be removing all that stuff from the living room and dumping it upstairs and tell him the house is shared so he has to sort out his existing collection before buying more. My DH knows that his hobby room and the garage are essentially his space. The rest of the house is shared so he does not get to clutter it up with his hobbies. Every day anything left in the kitchen, hall, bedrooms, or lounge or conservatory gets put away.

If you have a garden tell him to build a shed of a restricted size to house his collection and he needs to sell/get rid of excess. He's hoarding these things. If you can afford it then fine but if it's diverting funds away from family life then no. The loft needs emptied and living room too. Not one piece anywhere except his room. Has he ever had a childhood loss/trauma where he had some type of arrested development and trying to replace the loss with a collection. Get the fire service out to do a safety assessment on your house when he's there, they will identify loft as a problem and all the boxes.

It's totally different having what amounts to toys all over the sitting room, as compared to vases, flowers, photographs, etc.

The man has a room of his own in which he can display and store his toys. He had agreed to do it but is presumably now too lazy to sort it out. So the small room is being used for storage of his stuff - but he is also taking up lots of room in the sitting room.

I would be furious. It's this sort of childishness and selfishness that gradually erodes relationships.

@SpidersAreShitheads yes I regularly go to collector fairs.
At age 48 I'm one of the younger folks there 😂

Yes I can. I know many men of my dad and grandfather’s generations that collected model cars or model trains.

I know quite a few retired men that had whole rooms dedicated to their model trains. A friend of a friend spent ££££ converting the loft just to create a big model train space.

Other men had model planes or they painted army figures (no one I know but I’m aware this was also popular).

It’s not really any different. Geek figures aren’t toys, they’re collectibles. Some are really valuable. And have you seen the price of Lego kits?! 😳

It’s not what I’d choose as decoration but the derision from some on this thread is really unfair. My DP is a geek collector and a big Lego fan - we compromise about what’s on display. The rest goes upstairs. There needs to be space for the things I like but how can it possibly be fair for me to tell a grown adult that in his own home anything he likes must be shut away?!

I do understand the fact that it’s not your preferred decor but if you’re living with someone there has to be compromise.

Dump him!!

@FlatWhiteExtraHot I need more shelves too...
Currently having a rotation of the sets on display in preparation for new release sets 😂

Same here except mine would be “Needmoreshelvesforlego” 😂

Yes not ideal but at least it’ll get his stuff out of her way in the long run.

Yes because poor diddums can’t possibly unpack a box by himself.

He lives s in this home, I think he has some rights. Is your living room meant to be a formal room or a living space. He must of course dust them himself.
You shouldn't touch them

Actually, on second thought, I wouldn’t even compromise on 2-3 figures, if they’re similar to the one I’ve posted below. Such crap does not belong in communal living spaces. All of it needs to be upstairs — pronto!

Tbh I wouldn’t let him keep any in the living room! Those figurines are like Japanese bindweed - you let one in pretty soon the whole room is covered by them..

I’d also insist the boxes go in the loft. He can crate them if he likes. But I bet this is one reason he isn’t putting them out on display.

I swear everyone going on about a compromise has missed the bit where he already has his considerable plant collection all over the windowsills, that the OP has already compromised on.

There is already compromise and it's not enough for him - he wants it all.

Can you help him to set his display room up? Maybe he’s struggling to get going with it? Surely once it’s set up there’s no excuse not to use it.

It's the fact that he won't discuss and make a plan for them. That's as much of an issue as the actual stuff.

Living room and bedroom are shared space, I'd gather them up and stick them in his room. If there is one or two that are nice and you like stick them on a shelf near the candles or photo frame. He's being a child.

@BeepBeepYh I hate candles and flowers so I’d be the one saying why do you have those out?! The fact that you call his figures toys probably annoys the heck out of your DH, especially as they’re not play things to him.

Why can’t you force his hand and kick off sorting his room out, show him some display cabinets tell him that’s what you’re ordering, then he has no excuse when they arrive.

Also choose a few things of his you can bear to have on display downstairs with your flowers and candles. The rest goes upstairs.

We have a mix of things on display, some of it my Halloween stuff, some Lego, some normal stuff.

He really needs to get on with it and get his own room sorted out so he can display things in there properly.

Maybe send him some adult toy rooms on Pinterest to inspire him

Interesting how few people comment on the strange infantilisation of so many modern males. A man with a room piled high with cheap (in the tawdry sense) toys, action figures? I can’t help feeling there’s a WTF? element missing here. Can you imagine your father or grandfather having such a room?

I wouldn’t put up with this OP, it’s a living room, not a kids playroom