To find that going to the doctors doesn't resolve the issue

Thanks for sharing this. It's affirming yet depressing. I just don't know how to stand up to it. I accompanied my partner to the doctor once last year to support him and seeing the response from the doctor was very eye-opening! It was all taken VERY seriously even though it ended up being fine, luckily.

Yes, almost every time I see a medical professional I have a lingering feeling of shame for the rest of the day from being patronised. (I'm autistic so very sensitive). They've never really helped me with any of my health issues so I just have a growing list of chronic problems now.

@FeralNun I know women sharing their individual stories is anecdotal, very true, but we have a whole heap of science on this, too.

Women are simply not believed by doctors. Not male doctors, not female doctors. Numerous studies have looked at this from all kinds of different angles: women with chest pain are more likely to be told it’s anxiety, women with auto-immune disorders are more likely to be brushed off with, “Oh, it’s just depression,” and just a single study looking at women who went to A&E with severe stomach pain found they waited 33% longer than men who had the EXACT same symptoms.

@Mairzydotes But what’s most relevant to your case, perhaps, is that women experience tremendous diagnostic delays in comparison to men, across all diseases. In fact, with over 770 diseases, the average delay for women is four years later for diagnosis than men. For cancer, which could be life or death, women are on average diagnosed 2.5 years later than men. It’s not just you, it’s not just anyone on this thread, it’s not in anyone’s head, and it is absolutely terrible. According to doctors in the first article I attached, it’s getting “better,” but not quickly enough.

SOURCES:
https://www.northwell.edu/katz-institute-for-womens-health/articles/gaslighting-in-womens-health
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2019/03/190311103059.htm

I don't believe the NHS is "for me". Because I can afford to buy my UTI medication from Dr. Fox for £20.99 plus P&P, instead of relying on a GP issued prescription. Because at 8am, I am up to my ears in children / work and not able to sit by the phone trying over and over. Because I am fortunate enough to not have any major health conditions and therefore I should manage any acute issues myself. And, ofc, because I get fobbed off constantly.

I love our NHS but it's very broken and it's not for everyone. Pregnancy care was okay (although post natal was so bad I cried)

You are not being unreasonable at all, and it makes me feel even more lucky that this isn't my experience at all.

My experience - across two different surgeries:

• have had rosacea for years. Was referred to dermatology, tried several different topical treatments. Was referred and agreed for laser therapy which I completed last year. Admittedly it was delayed by a couple of years because of Covid but I still got it (had about 10 treatments I think).
• had a doc appointment as I was having some bleeding from my bottom. Red blood, not painful, no other symptoms. Doc said I didn't hit any triggers other than age (just turned 40) so she referred me on the two week pathway. Had a colonoscopy within the 2 weeks. Nothing found btw, must have just been an irritated bum!
• Had Covid (unknowingly) and it was making me wake up having panic attacks. Called the doc in the morning (Friday) was called back for a phone appointment and she had me come in to check my breathing and then prescribed me an inhaler which I'm sure was a placebo but was greatly appreciated.
• My son (an identical twin) didn't seem to be hitting puberty milestones as expected - was just a bit off, and having his brother as a 'marker' didn't help. Doc agreed was probably nothing, but as he was almost 15 was probably best to explore just in case. Was referred and had an endocrinology appointment which showed everything fine. We do live round the corner from Alder Hey so it's a bit easier, from a pure logistics side!

Our surgery has always been good too - you call in the morning, they'll either book you a normal appointment for say, next week, or a phone appointment for today and the doc will decide on the phone if she needs to see you.

Maybe I've been lucky, maybe it's just because my complaints have been 'easy'. I don't know. But like I say, I recognise this isn't usual and that is upsetting.

I completely agree, primary care is infuriating right now, and I say that as a nurse who works in primary care. I’ve gone private for almost every significant health issue I’ve had over the last few years.

Everything is dealt with in such a cursory fashion, nobody has time to take a full detailed history with which they might actually find the problem, when blood tests have been requested, they’ve not requested a comprehensive set of bloods that would actually exhaustively exclude swathes of issue, etc.

It's more and more hard to get resolutions, even if you are polite but firm, and insistent. The whole 'fighting all the time' is wearing.

I always go in knowing what I want to get out of it, and won’t leave until I’ve had that discussion. Sometimes it helps to write down things so you don’t forget once you’re in there.

Oh my have been brilliant and for me nothing serious, but I honestly think their system is fab. Nothing I need a same day appointment for so I don’t bother ringing and fill in online triage within a few hours you have either a notification they will call or an appointment either a few days time or following week. I had a call from the dr in March about an issue and he phoned and we chatted and as it wanted to examine me he asked if I was local today (I was wfh) and about 5 mins away so I just drove down and was seen after about 10 mins back waiting, it was fab and just waiting on my referral scan next week

I have discomfort/pain in the top of my ribs. Sent for chest x-ray and scan. Quite lucky to get referred really. Nothing found but person doing scan said I have a fatty liver. GPs made no reference when I contacted for all the results, I queried the fatty liver I'd been told about - no interest, don't give me a diet sheet, give me a link to any site where I can fid out more information - all done through the receptionist

So I've done a bit of research myself but it's a mine field. I'm desperately trying to lose weight. I don't drink very often 1-2 units a month and I'm trying to cut down on coffee/tea. I don't eat meat. If I get full blown liver disease it's going to cost the NHS a fortune - what about those who don't have access to the internet?

I've also found no after care from GPs after seeing a consultant. Had investigations and have hiatus hernia. Told results at hospital - nothing from GP just a text message to say they'd put a prescription out for Omeprazole

I feel this lack of engagement with patients will lead to more expensive costs further down the line which in many cases could be avoided

Nobody in our house bothers with the GP anymore, I've had pain in my breasts for months but fortunately got routine scan letter last week. I had to have a biopsy under mammogram last time, I'm a bit anxious. I really should have gone to the GP but as people point out getting an appointment is difficult.

Edited to clarify and make a bit shorter

I find that the number 1 objective of the GP is to get you out of their office. That’s if you can get there in the first place. If you phone up ours, they just say “no appointments, phone at 8am another day”.

I do think that this is part of the reason why we have many people on long term sickness. I bet thousands of them need/needed medical help that was totally inaccessible.

I know several people who had to go private. Only then did they get tests needed to check for and diagnose their physical conditions. All had been repeatedly fobbed off by their NHS GPs and told it was anxiety or depression. They appreciate they're lucky they could afford to go private. So many people can't afford to.

One of the people I know has been left unable to work. By the time they got diagnosed their health had deteriorated so much. Another one got a warning letter from the practice manager. Labelled a 'difficult patient' for 'too many visits' and threatened with deregistration. She wanted to change GPs anyway but it was distressing for her especially as she had some difficult stuff going on at home (DV). It's also not always easy changing GPs with some having strict catchment areas.

It definitely seems to vary by practice. My own experience (different area and different GP) was good. Although it was 15 year years ago so who knows if I'd have had the same good experience if it was more recent.

Doctor fobbing off is definitely relevant imo to the government's concerns about the number of people signed off sick. How many people would still be working if their doctors took them seriously at early stage? How many have been misdiagnosed with mental health problems when it's actually a physical issue?

I have to say I feel very lucky with our GP practice as you can get to see someone within a couple of weeks normally. And they do have same day appointments for emergencies if you call first thing.
But once you're in, they have a ten minute appointment policy, you can tell how rushed and under pressure they are. Despite the fact they seem nice and well meaning people, they don't have time to take a history, or think beyond the first quick fix. Which isn't normally a fix!

@Pocketfullofdogtreats my friend who had the pulmonary embolism still hasn't seen her GP 4 months later! It's really absurd how you can be so ill and have to rely on the hospital and no aftercare from the GP. Sorry for your DH, shocking care.

I don't think I would deal very well with the receptionist telling me to go home and try again after 2 months of rude hanging ups and app saying no local appointments for 16 weeks (there's no option for looking further ahead than that!). I'm glad you warned that might happen as I am debating going in to ask for an appointment as they've suggested or going privately to a specialist a friend uses. If I could have proper access to my notes (blood tests and scans should be on the app, or that's what I thought we were told would happen) then I could potentially show my records to a new practitioner for their advice. It's frustrating having no access when you know you've had a blood test recently, for example.

We have the same as you (hopeless phone service) so I've basically given up. I'm told now that if you go in and ask for an appointment they tell you to go home and do it online!

DH was very ill recently - possible sepsis. We went through 111 to get antibiotics that didn't work because they'd not had a urine test, if course. Long story short, a lot of faffing and reviews of the tests. Got there eventually but he never did see a doctor face to face. He was off work for 5 weeks.

@Rainydayinlondon No, I haven't seen my actual GP since 2010! See my other posts.

I get so tired of having to push for everything. I had a GP appointment for my daughter that was cancelled last minute (after waiting weeks for it). They then asked me to rebook it, which makes no sense for me - you know the appointment has been cancelled, you have access to the schedule, why not just rebook it when it was cancelled? So, I send a message, and the appointment is rebooked. The GP refers for blood tests, which I have to book. I have to ask for the results, and am just told they are normal, so no further action required. Except, of course, my daughter is still ill. So, I book another appointment, and am told her iron is low. It's like they hope that you will get bored and go away!

On the plus side, I self-referred to physiotherapy, and was pleasantly surprised by how simple that was. That was booked through an app, so I could choose the time and location of my appointment, and was seen pretty quickly.

If you can get to see them in the first place...!

I don’t think you can blame this on the government. The change has definitely been since Covid.

Do you have any private hospitals in your area? For example, we have a Spire hospital near to us. My DH paid to see a GP there. He had half an hour and a thorough examination. He had plenty of time to have all his questions answered.

https://www.spirehealthcare.com/spire-leicester-hospital/treatments/private-gp-services/