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Feeling bitter towards ex financially and emotionally (TW: termination)

30 replies

PandaMandy · 08/05/2024 14:49

After our two-year anniversary in November, I took a positive pregnancy test. Despite shock, I felt happy about it. My partner confessed he'd recently realised he didn't want children after all. He feared it would change our relationship, our careers, everything. I own an apartment, while he lived with his family to save for a house. I've a stable career so I offered to go it alone.

I attended counselling sessions, public and private. Therapists warned me about "future faking" behaviours and advised me to trust my instincts, he took offence, refusing to be lumped in with other men. He continued telling me of our blissful future together. I don't know why but I booked the appointment, thinking he'd change his mind.

That morning I said I couldn't go through with it. He wailed, lashed out punching pillows, saying he would hate me for ruining his life. I don't know why I went through with it so please don't judge. I won't go into detail but taking the pills did not go well for me. We ended up having to ring the helpline who told us to call an ambulance. I really don't want to scare anyone reading this as I was just very unlucky. The midwife was horrible to me and told me I had wasted an ambulance.

My partner was kind at first but I was not myself. He left me six weeks later, after Christmas with his family. He lost patience with how upset I was in those weeks and kept saying we did the right thing. I've had multiple doctor appointments since this. I had womens health issues prior so this increased my risk of complications. It's been lonely, costly and I've missed a lot of work (unpaid time).

In February he apologised and wanted to get back together. We arranged to meet for dinner but he changed his mind, saying he was scared. He said he would pay towards my appointments and loss of income but I haven't heard from him since. I have also since started antidepressants to try help but I feel such bitterness that he is living life, moved on from everything, has no repercussions or financial costs. I know bitterness gets us nowhere in life but I just want to burst with rage towards him

Thanks if you read this far

OP posts:
ChimneySweepLiverpool · 08/05/2024 15:40

I'm so sorry OP. That sounds really rough

TheTimeTravellerswifeisaFraser · 08/05/2024 15:24

Send him a bill for half the appointment costs and see if he pays any. If he pays something that’s a bonus. Don’t date him again. He’s awful.

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 08/05/2024 15:21

He's a fair weather partner and not in it for you as well as him.

PandaMandy · 08/05/2024 15:20

I was willing to go back to him when he got in touch to apologise because I felt as though he was the only one who understand what had happened.

And maybe because then I hadn't given up the pregnancy for nothing

OP posts:
Fathomless · 08/05/2024 15:15

I'm so so sorry for what you went through. I hope you have some support around you

Yanbu to feel however you feel towards this awful man. Can I ask why you are willing to get back with him?

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