To feel panic to owe this much on my mortgage?

We owe £770 and are in our mid 40’s

Seems like a fairly typical mortgage - dare I say, small even - for a single person in their mid thirties. I'm a bit older that you and owe about the same; most of my friends owe even more. I'm not saying that because I think it's a 'good' thing - it's just life and property prices are far too high.

It sounds like you can comfortably afford the repayments, plus you have savings, plus you over pay, plus you have a lot of equity. I'd say you're in a significantly better position financially than most 36 year olds.

As for whether you downsize to reduce your mortgage, that depends on your priorities in both the long and short term. And you'd be best to seek independent financial advice about that.

What this sounds like to me is that you've had a huge amount of change recently and now you feel anxious rather generally; the mortgage is just what your anxiety has fixed on for now.

My advice is to seek some support. Perhaps from your GP but IMO more helpfully from a therapist. I've had various therapists over the years and they've (mostly) helped me enormously with big life change stuff.

I'd be delighted if my mortgage was only £220k at age 40.

I understand your anxiety even if it’s not entirely logical. It’s really scary to suddenly be solely responsible to put a roof over your child’s head with nobody to fall back on. I am in a similar position but as long as I don’t become long term unemployed I am OK with the monthly outgoings too.

What I would do in your situation is hold off on the overpayments on the mortgage for a year or so until you have a bigger buffer. I would possibly also sell the car and buy a cheaper one cash so you have one less loan to pay off.

It's OK and perfectly normal to feel financially vulnerable after a break up. I've taken on two mortgages after each of my divorces and it is scary knowing it's all on you. But you seem to be doing well and can keep your head well above water. You're doing a great job!

I’m 32 and our mortgage is 260k. What’s the alternative when houses are so expensive?

I’m 36, single and owe approx £177k on my mortgage. Brutally honestly, does the weight of carrying it on my own haunt me? Yes, but I also know that getting on the property ladder on my own without any family help was a big achievement and so I try on a daily basis to be grateful not terrified!

I think some of this is probably displaced anxiety from becoming abruptly single but I promise you will be ok. Take a breath, keep overpaying and review in a year when you have a better idea of how things work alone.

I have a DH and our mortgage is around £360k. Payments plus taxes (not UK) around £2400/month. Household income around £200k. House value a little less than £1m. If you’re managing £500 in overpayment that sounds pretty good but as a single earner household, I’d probably put that £500 into building up a bigger emergency fund. You should have 6 months min and I’d probably aim for a year as a single earner.

I think framing it in 2 ways to reduce anxiety would help me: 1. Can you comfortably afford lifestyle, even if interest rate goes up 2. Do you have a good back up/emergency plan. It seems like you’re set on 1 so I would work to improve 2.

You are in a very fortunate position and have nothing to worry about.

I understand the anxiety a sudden change in circumstances can bring – my husband died suddenly when I was 36 and our daughter just 2 – but it's important to focus on the bigger picture and appreciate the positives. I had to sell my home (at a loss) when DH died because I couldn't afford the mortgage alone – but I downsized and am now comfortable, and feel extremely fortunate. Despite not being able to afford to overpay my mortgage and having far less than £10k in savings!

It sounds a lot but it will keep going down AND you have an asset

Oh, and there are some properly nasty people on here that you should completely ignore....

I know exactly what you mean but you need to mentally offset it against the lovely house you live in. Work out how much rent you would pay over the next 25 years on the same house and at the end of the 25 years you would have neither the money or the house!!

Just because other people are worse off does not invalidate the OP’s feelings - the fact that it is manageable for her now, does not mean she will never have to worry. That was an unnecessarily nasty post

Of course you have a buffer. You're overpaying your mortgage by £500/month. There's your buffer.

The amount you owe is almost irrelevant, you have to live somewhere and that would cost you money every month regardless.

I am in a similar position as you (except my 2 are school age) and I personally don't think you are being insensitive at all. Just because other peoples challenges may feel bigger to them than yours, doesn't mean that yours are not valid, you are the one in your life. I can see how it feels like a lot, I'm guessing you took on this mortgage with your ex and weren't planning on paying it all on your own. That's not to say you can't (it sounds like you have worked hard and done well in your career), but its just not what you expected, and its a big change and will take time. And anxiety around interest rates etc, who knows what the next government will bring, so lots of uncertainty.

But there are different types of debt. I was always taught that not all debt is bad, and a mortgage that you can afford isn't bad debt. I don't worry too much about how much my property has gone up as I have no intention of selling/moving. I focus on this being our forever home, doing it up as and when I can afford to (needs lots of work but the location and size was perfect). If you sold and rented would likely cost you much more than your mortgage, with no security.

Soon enough your child will be in school and your childcare costs will be much less, so maybe try and focus on the short term and look to that point rather than many many years ahead, if you can make it to there financially, then the rest should hopefully be quite smooth sailing

I'm 39 and owe £210k on my mortgage. I feel the opposite - proud to be on the property ladder on my own (with a house with approx £100k equity in it). At some point in the next few years this will change as me and DP will be buying together but for now I'm just pleased I own my own home and can afford the mortgage repayments!. Also, half of my friends are renting and will never be able to buy a house... I would rather be in my position. Plus you can always sell a house if needs be - it is an asset after all.

That's how much we have left on our mortgage, only a few years younger, planning a second child (I'm not a single parent so am working with 2 incomes). We are looking to extend our mortgage to do some necessary renovations, so will owe more like 270k rather than 220k soon.
Your equity is significantly larger than ours though! It's really great!
Imagine the costs of selling for somewhere smaller - moving fees, stamp duty, solicitors fees, probably an increased mortgage rate, not to mention the stress and hassle involved. The benefit you'd get in having a smaller mortgage would probably not be as much of a relief as you might be imaging now.
Personally if I were you I wouldn't be overpaying the mortgage until you had significant cash savings for emergency. That's just my personal preference/opinion. Money tied up in your house is useless if you suddenly need to replace your boiler, repair your car, which can cost thousands. Even if it saves you some interest in the long run on the mortgage, personally I highly value accessible savings.
Have you considered using some of the overpayment money towards income protection insurance or something similar if you are particularly worried about being able to pay the mortgage?
We don't have this type of insurance as we put money towards our emergency savings every month anyway and keep it above a certain level.

You still have 27 years of work left at 40 OP..
So not doing too badly at all.

You said in your original post that you have £10k in savings - this is a buffer and it is bigger than others will have.

You are in a good position, but I'm not sure you understand how good a position you're in.

I would suggest reading up, or asking questions on the money board to get some advice.

Either that or this is a humble brag which will just upset people.

I won't criticise you as £220k is in isolation a scary number.

But remind yourself that you don't owe that in isolation.

A) it's offset against a £500k asset. You're £280k up. Even if house prices crashed by 50% (they won't), you'll be in the black.

B) you'd have to pay rent if you didn't own the house. You'd be no better off every month, but at least the payments you make are bringing that balance down.

what are house prices like where you live? could you buy something decent for the equity which is large and good enough for your needs. A 500k house round here is massive and 280 would buy you a lovely 3 bed with garden but I appreciate it's different elsewhere.

I hate debt so get you.

I’m 40 and have £400k mortgage remaining. I get that you’re panicking, but your situation doesn’t sound that bad at all. You can afford to overpay, most people can’t.

You are doing well with equity in the house and regularly overpaying by a significant amount (£6000 a year), which will reduce the mortgage more quickly, and therefore the overall sum paid by the end of the mortgage. I would focus on the progress you are making and the nice lump of equity you have. Many people would count themselves lucky to be in that position.

I wouldn't remove the mortgage. It can be useful to have if you ever want to borrow money at cheaper rates than other forms of loans. It is quite easy and convenient to increase the loan should that be needed and it is nice to know the facility is there.

No need for you to worry and lose sleep.

So you can afford the repayments and you have more than 50% equity?

YABU to worry about this. You're in an enviable position.