To feel panic to owe this much on my mortgage?

That's really unfair. People have anxieties. It's not always possible to 'feel someone else's toothache'. Just because the OP's anxiety is less catastrophic than the next person's doesn't mean it's any less valid.

I understand but I think you'll just get used to it. I owe £261k and I'm 37. When I first got my mortgage, alone, I owed £280k and I had a few weeks of OH MY GOD about it. Then you just get used to it. You're going through a lot of change and coping with carrying things alone that you used to share the weight of. But you can do it! You're in a great position.

A mortgage is actually a good use of balance sheet because you're not taxed on the increase in your asset (ie your house goes up in value but unlike eg interest earned on financial products, you're not taxed on that increase unless it's not your primary residence, when you pay capital gains tax upon sale). You're increasing your equity. It's cheaper than renting. Moving is expensive. You can make the monthly payments easily. You've got this.

Divided between my husband and I we owe more than you do, two or three times over. It’s all about salary and house market conditions.

Don't panic that's really not that bad for now
I'm 43 dh 48 and we still have £250k on ours

I wouldn’t consider the mortgage a debt though as it is balanced by the value of the asset. If you can afford the payments and the insurances comfortably then I wouldn’t consider downsizing until you are ready to release equity in the property

Don’t worry about asking a question x

If I were you I would stop overpaying for about a year and I’d save up the £500 a month. You’ll feel much more secure with £6k in savings.

Well I'm 61 and renting due to being royally shafted by my exh. I'd rather be in your position!

I haven’t even started my mortgage yet and I’m 47. I’m waiting to move back north when my youngest goes to Uni as it’s a lot cheaper than london. I’m not overly worried

To be able to overpay is brilliant, OP. It snowballs, because the overpayment comes off the capital, so with each overpayment a greater proportion of what you pay reduces the outstanding balance. There's probably an online calculator somewhere that will show you how much quicker it will be paid off.

And if you can afford to overpay, the repayments must be affordable, so I really don't think you need to worry.

I felt just the same about the amount I owed when I had my first mortgage. It was 1982, and I borrowed £24k, but that seemed like a huge amount then.

I mean, me and DH are just about to take out a £720k mortgage... But we can afford the repayments, early 30s so lots of working life left, and house is worth around a million so it doesn't seem too bad to me. Surely it's more about the equity amount you have than the loan amount? Me and DH are better off than someone who owns a 200k house outright.

We could buy a house like that and still have equity left over if we wanted.

I don't think focusing on the loan amount is helpful. Houses are generally a brilliant investment for your money

I would consider making money on AIr BnB or short term lettings website. There are courses on how to do this and you dont need to own your own property. I started 2 years ago and its seems to work well, but the hardest part was just because of the fear of making mistakes and losing money. You may have seen what I'm talking about on pop-up ads on social media. They may come across as scams, but you have to at least try.

Don’t know where you are but that isn’t a big mortgage for London area.

If you make one extra monthly payment a year you can significantly reduce the payment period.
Try check your options and move lender to a lower interest rate so your payments work more to reduce the lump sump.

I can understand why you’re worried about owing that much money now that you’re on your own. My first mortgage as a single parent felt scary just because I had to manage it all on my own. It is daunting at first when you find yourself as a single parent but as many have already said, you can definitely afford it without scraping by. Maybe ease off the overpayments until you’ve got a rainy day fund that you feel more comfortable with and then you might not feel so anxious.

It is not tone deaf or insensitive in the slightest!

For me OP it would depend on lots of things. For example Do you get maintenance (if not 50/50) for your child?

Would you want to take your child on a lovely holiday every year that you can't necessarily save up for (travel is very important to me but not for everyone).

Could you buy a smaller place in your preferred area for a realistic sum?

Or is it just about not wanting the mortgage at all which I completely get!

I can totally understand your worry but you are not 40 yet and you sound like you have things under control

but a huge break up would rock anyone’s confidence.. think of it this way, people are living longer and earning for longer. Give yourself 12 months to see how things pan out. Don’t do anything rash

Completely depends on how much you earn

Oh bore off.

OP isn't responsible for the worlds feelings.

Same here, and our IO payments are currently crippling us 🫣 - this is not irresponsibility on our part but crappy Covid/COL issues and the obvious interest rate hike.

OP don’t panic, think longer term

Stupid to overpay cheap mortgage if car finance interest is higher. Pay off car, then overpay mortgage. You’re doing great.

This sounds pretty normal to me for a 40yo. As long as you have a sensible plan to pay it off before you retire, you're likely to be significantly better off there than renting, particularly if house prices rise. If you're making overpayments already, you're in a good position. Just make sure you do keep some savings back from the overpayments to cover any unexpected expenses, to make sure you can cope with any mortgage rate increase when it is next renewed, and also to make sure that you enjoy life with your child - take the holiday, make some memories - more important in the grand scheme of things than taking another £1k off the mortgage with an overpayment.

Once you can afford it each month then I wouldn't worry too much

I tell myself i am lucky to have a mortgage/a house. I owe just over 200,000 and am just a bit younger than you. It's far better than paying a landlords mortgage in rent

Don’t create a problem that’s not there. You own a house and you can afford the repayments. That will do for now.

when things settle down a bit and you want to downsize to reduce your burden then go for it.

You’re fine! I’m 40, have £320k left and it’s just me. I haven’t hugely overpaid but I could a little, I defo will later on when the mortgage amount is lower but it went up by £200 when Liz Truss fucked our economy.