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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No shorts at my wedding

829 replies

MumOfHals · 08/05/2024 11:54

I'm getting married in Spain, in a really formal venue. I want to ask the men NOT to wear shorts for the ceremony, AIBU lol?

How can I word on the invite NO SHORTS?

Dress code:

Summer elegance for the ladies and matching formal attire for the men. NO SHORTS ( just doesn't flow well LOL)

OP posts:
Thread gallery
30
ChickyBricky · 11/05/2024 15:34

Are you sure you want half the guests to hate you?!

Whothefuckdoesthat · 11/05/2024 15:30

MumOfHals · 08/05/2024 11:56

Not really, I don't want to see nobbly knees. It's not a pub garden or a christening, it's a wedding- you wouldn't wear them in England wedding in a church?

Show quote history

We actively encouraged it at ours (massive church wedding). It was forecast to be hot and our focus was on each other and celebrating with our lovely friends and family, and it was the perfect day. The first day of our marriage wasn’t sullied or somehow tarnished because Dave had his knees out. We didn’t even notice.

I think your priorities are going to make the whole thing much more stressful for you than it needs to be, but just write ‘formal dress’ on the invitation if it bothers you that much.

willWillSmithsmith · 11/05/2024 15:27

I’m quite partial to a nice, tanned, male leg in tailored shorts. I also love kilts. I guess I’m a ‘knee’ woman. 😁

HolidayHappy123 · 11/05/2024 15:15

MumOfHals · 08/05/2024 21:00

Just an example at a friends wedding in Ibiza recently, the Spanish relatives were somewhat appalled. He wasn't the only Brit in shorts and trainers 🤪

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There’s nothing classy about you posting photos from your ‘friend’s’ wedding and judging her guests.

Orlastuff · 11/05/2024 15:08

Calm down OP…….If it was a Scottish wedding they’d be in kilts….then you’d really see knobby knees

Moveoverdarlin · 11/05/2024 15:03

Malo05 · 11/05/2024 14:59

Your wedding sounds idyllic and romantic. I wish you all the best for not only a lovely ceremony but a long, healthy,happy marriage. I also vote no shorts for a wedding!

I agree. It looks amazing. Hope you have a wonderful day.

Moveoverdarlin · 11/05/2024 15:02

Fmlgirl · 11/05/2024 09:55

I wouldn’t come. The audacity. People taking holidays and paying to see you in another country just to sweat their balls off.

Super. Another one of the riff-raff off the list. That’ll save the bride and groom a few grand.

Malo05 · 11/05/2024 14:59

Your wedding sounds idyllic and romantic. I wish you all the best for not only a lovely ceremony but a long, healthy,happy marriage. I also vote no shorts for a wedding!

WasteOfPaint · 11/05/2024 14:43

Phoenixfire1988 · 11/05/2024 13:01

Bridezilla much ! You want people to pay a fortune to travel to your wedding then sweat their balls off to boot don't be surprised if no body wants to go

Starting to wonder if bots are producing all these similar daft responses...

OneTC · 11/05/2024 14:19

I've been to some very informal weddings, crusty squatter types. Even though it was kind of obvious based on venue etc they still thought it best to specify that it wasn't formal because even people that live in vans and don't routinely wash know that you dress up for a wedding.

Johannalaw · 11/05/2024 14:14

Show us the rest of your list of rules.

CrispieCake · 11/05/2024 14:08

Not RTWT but the only people who should be wearing shorts for a wedding (smart ones) are small boys.

RampantIvy · 11/05/2024 14:07

Is a pair of light cotton trousers any more sweat inducing than a pair of shorts?

The only difference is that the lower legs are covered.

Honestly, the hysterical responses on this thread are ridiculous.

Busywithsomething · 11/05/2024 14:03

" Full length trousers for men please" perhaps

KimberleyClark · 11/05/2024 13:21

It is generally true that when it’s very hot, the more skin you expose the hotter you will be. I always wear a linen shift dress or cotton trousers and a t shirt when sightseeing in hot places. Never shorts.

Blueroses99 · 11/05/2024 13:20

I don’t think OP is being bridezilla, I think she is trying to avoid the British guests making a faux pas in the eyes of the Spanish guests. ‘Destination’ wedding can mean a lot of things and it’s clear that this is not a beach wedding where casual dress is usual, but a formal Spanish wedding. Not just because that’s what the OP wants, but that’s because it’s standard in Spanish culture.

BrightonFrock · 11/05/2024 13:06

You also see Arab women in full burkas regardless of the heat. I’m not sure you’re making as clear a parallel as you think.

BIossomtoes · 11/05/2024 13:03

Phoenixfire1988 · 11/05/2024 13:01

Bridezilla much ! You want people to pay a fortune to travel to your wedding then sweat their balls off to boot don't be surprised if no body wants to go

You do understand that loose linen or cotton trousers are actually cooler than shorts? You don’t see Arabs in shorts, do you?

Phoenixfire1988 · 11/05/2024 13:01

Bridezilla much ! You want people to pay a fortune to travel to your wedding then sweat their balls off to boot don't be surprised if no body wants to go

ANiceCuppaTeaandBiscuit · 11/05/2024 12:47

Just put Dress Code: Women cocktail dress, Men Summer Suits and leave it at that.

Summer suits implies a light suit, not shorts, but not overly formal. I’ve been to several weddings abroad where the wording has been similar and no men’s knees in sight

ArabellaScott · 11/05/2024 12:43

Impatientwino · 08/05/2024 21:40

Irrespective of my thoughts on shorts at weddings I think it's revolting behaviour to have posted a picture of that couple on the internet without their permission for the sole purpose of knocking what he is wearing.

Absolutely.

qwertyqwertyqwertyqwerty · 11/05/2024 12:37

MumOfHals · 08/05/2024 11:56

Not really, I don't want to see nobbly knees. It's not a pub garden or a christening, it's a wedding- you wouldn't wear them in England wedding in a church?

Show quote history

You're not getting married in England in a church?

I think you're being excessively bossy.

How are men's knees more distressing than women's?

Bellyblueboy · 11/05/2024 12:33

Champers66 · 11/05/2024 11:56

Not England though is it? It’s Spain! Haha I agree.. odd request- blokes will be sweating in a trouser suit!

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Do you think people wear shorts to weddings routinely in hot countries?

I totally understand there may be very informal beach weddings in parts of Australia and California. But my experience is Spain is quite a traditional country - people do not routinely wear shorts to weddings, funerals or christenings. In fact it would be quite shocking and insulting.

Bluevelvetsofa · 11/05/2024 12:32

Most photos I’ve seen of Caribbean weddings, they look very casual, with the bride in a flowy dress and the groom in a loose shirt and shorts or chino type trousers.

That isn’t Spain in the evening though and OPs wedding is obviously much more formal. I think young (ish) men in tailored shorts suits look fine, but, as is often said on MN, it’s the bride and groom’s choice.

OneTC · 11/05/2024 12:19

I originally thought OP was being unreasonable because who'd need to specify no shorts at a wedding ffs.

A) it's a wedding and
B) my friends are all over 13

Answers to the thread suggest it's a reasonable concern though.