Page 16 | No shorts at my wedding

MumOfHals · 2024-05-08T10:54:45+00:00

I'm getting married in Spain, in a really formal venue. I want to ask the men NOT to wear shorts for the ceremony, AIBU lol? How can I word on the invite NO SHORTS? Dress code: Summer elegance for the ladies and matching formal attire for the men. NO SHORTS ( just doesn't flow well LOL)

Youdontevengohere · 08/05/2024 20:03

KomodoOhno · 08/05/2024 20:00

I live in an extremely hot climate. As in multiple people die of heat stroke every year. I have never seen anyone in shorts at a wedding. I say definitely put on there no shorts but I am sorry you have to say it.

We don’t know that she has to say it though. There’s nothing to say that any of her guests are planning to wear shorts; it’s just an assumption the OP has made on the basis that she thinks at least some of her invited guests are ‘chavs’.
My SIL got married in Spain last year and none of the British guests turned uO in shorts, despite no one being told they couldn’t.

Anonymous2025 · 08/05/2024 20:02

Calliopespa · 08/05/2024 19:55

I would have hated men to come in shirts to my wedding but I think if you are having trousers ( perfectly reasonable ) in that heat you have to let them carry a jacket not wear it.

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Off course , I’m assuming they will use it during the ceremony and not after . A shirt and a waste coat is probably ok too .

KomodoOhno · 08/05/2024 20:00

I live in an extremely hot climate. As in multiple people die of heat stroke every year. I have never seen anyone in shorts at a wedding. I say definitely put on there no shorts but I am sorry you have to say it.

Calliopespa · 08/05/2024 19:58

Willtheraineverstop · 08/05/2024 19:56

Women wearing shorter dresses will have their knees on show though?

I think that’s different. We all have lovely knees😇

Cliedi · 08/05/2024 19:57

I do wonder why people get their knickers in a twist about an invitation to an abroad wedding. Surely you just say no if you don’t want to or can’t? Or are you so arrogant that you think the lack of your presence will ruin the wedding and therefore you’ll attend despite the terrible anguish it will cause you.

missshilling · 08/05/2024 19:57

Perfectpots · 08/05/2024 19:36

Instead of NO SHORTS put 'shorts must be tailored and go down to the ankle'.

And worn with a matching jacket.

Willtheraineverstop · 08/05/2024 19:56

Women wearing shorter dresses will have their knees on show though?

ChristmasCwtch · 08/05/2024 19:55

Haha @Calliopespa My MIL tries to control everything everyone does.. she’s marginally successful with her family, but never with me 😂 Plenty of adults would refuse to conform to someone else’s whims

Calliopespa · 08/05/2024 19:55

I would have hated men to come in shirts to my wedding but I think if you are having trousers ( perfectly reasonable ) in that heat you have to let them carry a jacket not wear it.

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Also it won’t be chic if they are all sweating.

Calliopespa · 08/05/2024 19:55

Anonymous2025 · 08/05/2024 19:50

I’m getting married in Spain too 40c in the summer altough the ceremony is in the shade and the party has AC . I honestly hope nobody shown up in shirts or badly dressed . It’s a wedding not a pub crawl . Common sense dictates that unless other way specified people wear wedding clothes that in men are suits . Anyone claiming shirts is appropriate must be joking .

I would have hated men to come in shirts to my wedding but I think if you are having trousers ( perfectly reasonable ) in that heat you have to let them carry a jacket not wear it.

pontipinemum · 08/05/2024 19:54

If it's a wedding abroad do you have a 'fact sheet/ extra sheet' included along with your invite.

We have had invites with an extra page or a website with the other info e.g. how to get there, where to park, where to stay you could include a little paragraph there 'The dress code at our wedding will be cocktail/formal attire, long trousers required'

Ritasueandbobtoo9 · 08/05/2024 19:51

Just put “please wear formal attire” to clarify that you aren’t doing “beach”.

Anonymous2025 · 08/05/2024 19:50

I’m getting married in Spain too 40c in the summer altough the ceremony is in the shade and the party has AC . I honestly hope nobody shown up in shirts or badly dressed . It’s a wedding not a pub crawl . Common sense dictates that unless other way specified people wear wedding clothes that in men are suits . Anyone claiming shirts is appropriate must be joking .

PassingStranger · 08/05/2024 19:50

TinyYellow · 08/05/2024 12:01

Your guests are getting on a plane and taking time out of their lives to celebrate with you and give you the wedding you want. At least let them wear what they want. It would be really rude to tell people what they are and aren’t allowed to wear on their own holiday.

Exactly be grateful the they are coming it's just a wedding.
Whats it got to do with them anyway if two people want to get married, just go ahead.
Got to be a joke no smart shorts in a hot Country.
Who do ppl think they are?

PurpleFlower1983 · 08/05/2024 19:47

I think it’s fine if it’s a church wedding, as other have said, more casual on a beach would be different.

Nannyogg134 · 08/05/2024 19:45

I'd just have 'smart dress' as the dress code and people will get the idea, if it's a fancy venue then I can't imagine anyone will be in a Hawaiian shirt and shorts. Just be aware that people may feel hot and uncomfortable, and plan for this also. I don't think this is an unreasonable request, but I have to admit my DH would argue it as a reason not to go to a summer wedding abroad, he'd also point out that it'll be considered fine to wear a knee length dress which is a bit of a double standard.

Calliopespa · 08/05/2024 19:45

ChristmasCwtch · 08/05/2024 18:54

A dress code is guidance. It’s rude to ban attire you don’t approve of.

Every time (often!!) my MIL reminds me that a restaurant for a family dinner is “elegant and chic”, I make a concerted effort to look scruffy 😂 If she didn’t write that, I’d actually dress up. I enjoy the rebellion of doing the opposite 😆 You guests might not come to your wedding or purposefully wear shorts just to be obtuse!!

Not everyone is as contrary as a three year old. In fact you might be the only adult who is ..,

Calliopespa · 08/05/2024 19:42

Genevieva · 08/05/2024 19:21

How about specifying what they can wear: smart casual jackets and trousers. No ties required.

Then the issue of shorts doesn’t arise.

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Don’t put jackets! They will all pass out!

Calliopespa · 08/05/2024 19:41

TheFlis · 08/05/2024 11:57

I think it would read better to specify long trousers rather than state no shorts.

That’s the way I’d approach it: smart casual trousers.

The weather is on your side to ensure you aren’t likely to get jeans.

Mooshroo · 08/05/2024 19:37

My husband wore shorts to my wedding 😄😉

KateDelRick · 08/05/2024 19:37

I would definitely put a clear dress code on the invitations. Formal attire, dresses or long trousers, then you're not being gender specific.

Perfectpots · 08/05/2024 19:36

Instead of NO SHORTS put 'shorts must be tailored and go down to the ankle'.

SharpLily · 08/05/2024 19:36

Igglepigglesweirdmate · 08/05/2024 19:26

Part of me thinks that even in a hot country, surely a wedding is not the time to bang out some shorts, as a sign of respect? Then there's telling people what they can't wear, also overbearing.

😂 People turn up to church in Spain looking like they've just come off a shift at the brothel. It's horrific. Some people seem to be deeply underestimating the heat here, too. Not a problem in May or October if this wedding is midsummer? Long trousers would be horrific.

KateDelRick · 08/05/2024 19:36

I would definitely put a clear dress code on the invitations. Formal attire, dresses or long trousers, then you're not being gender specific.

Igglepigglesweirdmate · 08/05/2024 19:26

Part of me thinks that even in a hot country, surely a wedding is not the time to bang out some shorts, as a sign of respect? Then there's telling people what they can't wear, also overbearing.