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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect fat nurses to have some insight?.

755 replies

Vikingess · 07/05/2024 21:26

Just had a routine health check today at my GP surgery. Two nurses - both considerably overweight - dispensing advice on diet. I
am not overweight -AIBU to expect health professionals to demonstrate the the standards they recommended or at least admit to falling short.

OP posts:
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7
Mirabai · 09/05/2024 10:00

BeretRaspberry · 08/05/2024 22:25

@Mirabai

The problem is that is written by patients and there are a small subset of CFS who believe they are incurable.

I learnt from various CFS consultants that their patients convinced the condition is untreatable, who fear activity and exercise are much less likely to recover.

That fear of activity and exercise is based on very real experience - exhaustion and post exertional malaise can be very disabling and cause setbacks. It’s also hard to exercise when you don’t even have enough energy to get through work. However it doesn’t follow that no exercise at all is the way to go - that will simply weaken further.

I spoke to many people with LC and CFS. I also had the experience of managing a progressive AI illness where you have to exercise + physio just to keep going.

One woman I encountered had CFS so bad she had considered Dignitas. She started a programme of increasing activity in small increments - first she turned over in bed. Then walked 2 mins outside, then 3 mins. 5 mins might put her in bed for a week. She had to stick to her plan, and do no more or less the activity level for that day, even if she was feeling ok.

With exceptional discipline and determination she pulled herself out in 5 years.

In short: it’s a horrible illness, it’s like being buried alive: but it’s not terminal, degenerative or progressive. It can become incurable if you believe it is.

BeretRaspberry · 09/05/2024 09:50

They are treated with dignity. The issue is skirted around if anything, for example 'fat' is never used however some people are incredibly defensive as we've seen from this thread. Telling someone they need to lose weight would be seen as offensive by some.

If you think fat people are treated with dignity, it shows even more just how ill informed and blinkered you are.

Youcantellalotofthingsabouttheflowers · 09/05/2024 09:43

Coatsoff42 · 09/05/2024 08:16

You can organise the best plan for yourself in the world, but you can’t organise a hospital to be properly staffed.
yes you probably get one break in a 12 hr shift, usually about 8 hrs after you started. No one should be in charge of sick patients and running on empty, it leads to poor decision making.
Even you who is perfect and managed to take a perfect lunch in everyday no matter what horror story of death and suffering you were seeing, ate chocolates.

What would you do if the chocolates were not there and there was a bowl of fruit instead? Do hospitals get chocolates specifically delivered every day to the nurses station?
Absolutely ridiculous argument.

Youcantellalotofthingsabouttheflowers · 09/05/2024 09:40

Coatsoff42 · 09/05/2024 07:57

And if you have no time to go to the break room and eat? But there’s a big box of chocolates right next to you, and two people pressing their call bell and the phone ringing and a meds round to do?
Do leave the ward even more short staffed and take 15 mins to go to your locker, get your food and come back, then sit and eat a healthy meal deal, or do you chuck three chocolates down your throat and see if the patients are ok?

If you were a patient what would you want if you were in pain or needed the toilet?

Excuses excuses. Bring a banana in and put where the chocolates are. Bring in healthy food and eat on the break everyone gets.

I am fat because Maureen in ward 6 needed a bedpan so I had to fill my face with chocolates on the way for energy. Give me a break. If that was the case every single nurse would be fat. It’s down to choices.

HidingUnderARock · 09/05/2024 09:16

Well this thread has certainly brought out the people I wouldn't want to receive advice from and it's the judgmental ones. I can't see their body shape from here.

I have no problem with taking advice from people with a variety of visual appearance, or indeed online where we can't tell. It is the narrow minded people who absolutely won't hear or learn anything different who love to tell others where they're going wrong that help nobody.

HollyKnight · 09/05/2024 08:31

Janiie · 09/05/2024 08:22

Its their job. Smokers get advised to stop when they have check ups. You need to stop being defensive and work with hcps to find ways to improve your health.

Clearly people need advice if some think coke and crisps are the same health wise as fruit juice and nuts.

People are told if they want to improve their health they need to do X, Y, and Z. That is different to saying. "You're fat. You need to lose weight." One is advice. The other is pointless and idiotic.

Not one overweight person needs to be told they are overweight. Not one smoker needs to be told smoking is bad for them. They all know this.

Coatsoff42 · 09/05/2024 08:25

Janiie · 09/05/2024 08:23

'No one should be in charge of sick patients and running on empty, it leads to poor decision making.'

Exactly! so eat healthily. There are always choices so make the right one.

I think you have not worked on a
ward for a long time.

Janiie · 09/05/2024 08:23

'No one should be in charge of sick patients and running on empty, it leads to poor decision making.'

Exactly! so eat healthily. There are always choices so make the right one.

Janiie · 09/05/2024 08:22

HollyKnight · 09/05/2024 08:07

Telling someone they need to lose weight would be seen as offensive by some.

It's not offensive, it's just idiotic. That is what frustrates people. Telling someone they need to lose weight is like telling someone water is wet. People know they are overweight. They don't need to be informed of that. You're not helping them by telling them that. You just make them feel bad and make yourself look like an idiot.

Its their job. Smokers get advised to stop when they have check ups. You need to stop being defensive and work with hcps to find ways to improve your health.

Clearly people need advice if some think coke and crisps are the same health wise as fruit juice and nuts.

Coatsoff42 · 09/05/2024 08:16

Janiie · 09/05/2024 08:09

I'd want my hcp to have some organisational skills and to eat well. Massive sugar highs from loads of chocolates are not going to improve performance.

I've been there, I worked shifts years ago. The tin of quality street ever present but you have one or 2. Then go for your break, which every hcp gets, and eat healthily.

You can organise the best plan for yourself in the world, but you can’t organise a hospital to be properly staffed.
yes you probably get one break in a 12 hr shift, usually about 8 hrs after you started. No one should be in charge of sick patients and running on empty, it leads to poor decision making.
Even you who is perfect and managed to take a perfect lunch in everyday no matter what horror story of death and suffering you were seeing, ate chocolates.

Scirocco · 09/05/2024 08:15

Janiie · 09/05/2024 08:09

I'd want my hcp to have some organisational skills and to eat well. Massive sugar highs from loads of chocolates are not going to improve performance.

I've been there, I worked shifts years ago. The tin of quality street ever present but you have one or 2. Then go for your break, which every hcp gets, and eat healthily.

Healthcare professional here, haven't had a protected break since graduation.

Janiie · 09/05/2024 08:13

Broomknobsandbedsticks · 09/05/2024 08:02

Fruit juice probably contains more sugar than coke. Fruit is full of fructose. Sugar is sugar no matter what form it’s in - it still causes the insulin spikes that causes us to gain weight.
nuts can be great but let’s not kid ourselves that those bars are a healthy choice.

Confused

Fruit juice has many benefits vitamins, fibre etc.

Fruit juice and nuts will always be better choice than coke and crisps which surely you know?!

Janiie · 09/05/2024 08:09

Coatsoff42 · 09/05/2024 07:57

And if you have no time to go to the break room and eat? But there’s a big box of chocolates right next to you, and two people pressing their call bell and the phone ringing and a meds round to do?
Do leave the ward even more short staffed and take 15 mins to go to your locker, get your food and come back, then sit and eat a healthy meal deal, or do you chuck three chocolates down your throat and see if the patients are ok?

If you were a patient what would you want if you were in pain or needed the toilet?

I'd want my hcp to have some organisational skills and to eat well. Massive sugar highs from loads of chocolates are not going to improve performance.

I've been there, I worked shifts years ago. The tin of quality street ever present but you have one or 2. Then go for your break, which every hcp gets, and eat healthily.

HollyKnight · 09/05/2024 08:07

Telling someone they need to lose weight would be seen as offensive by some.

It's not offensive, it's just idiotic. That is what frustrates people. Telling someone they need to lose weight is like telling someone water is wet. People know they are overweight. They don't need to be informed of that. You're not helping them by telling them that. You just make them feel bad and make yourself look like an idiot.

Broomknobsandbedsticks · 09/05/2024 08:02

Mirabai · 08/05/2024 21:45

Nuts are excellent nutrition. Nut bars tend to have too much sugar but compared to a Mars they’re still a better choice. Equally fruit juice is better than coke. There’s nothing wrong with mayo or cheese - I think the whole calorie preoccupation is unhealthy, they are normal foods.

Fruit juice probably contains more sugar than coke. Fruit is full of fructose. Sugar is sugar no matter what form it’s in - it still causes the insulin spikes that causes us to gain weight.
nuts can be great but let’s not kid ourselves that those bars are a healthy choice.

Janiie · 09/05/2024 07:58

'I would like the medical profession to stop scaremongering (the perils probably apply to those who are morbidly obese?) and to treat fat people with a bit more dignity'

It isn't scaremongering it is fact. Being overweight (not just morbidly obese) increases the risk of cancer, type 2 diabetes etc etc.

They are treated with dignity. The issue is skirted around if anything, for example 'fat' is never used however some people are incredibly defensive as we've seen from this thread. Telling someone they need to lose weight would be seen as offensive by some.

Coatsoff42 · 09/05/2024 07:57

Janiie · 09/05/2024 07:51

This.

I do feel sorry for overweight people who feel there is nothing they can do but all the denial is the problem. The blind acceptance that's it an 'addiction' that they have no control over. You do have control and choices. Busy nurses on a 12hr shift or not, take a healthy meal deal from Tesco, a wrap and a banana. Just plan ahead.

And if you have no time to go to the break room and eat? But there’s a big box of chocolates right next to you, and two people pressing their call bell and the phone ringing and a meds round to do?
Do leave the ward even more short staffed and take 15 mins to go to your locker, get your food and come back, then sit and eat a healthy meal deal, or do you chuck three chocolates down your throat and see if the patients are ok?

If you were a patient what would you want if you were in pain or needed the toilet?

Janiie · 09/05/2024 07:51

Youcantellalotofthingsabouttheflowers · 08/05/2024 22:12

I still don’t get all the excuses. You can be tired, run off your feet, stressed, no healthy food available, not able to exercise etc etc but you CAN choose a healthier option. It takes the same time to eat a banana as it does to eat a bar of chocolate. You CHOOSE To eat the chocolate. Too tired to make food when you go home so go to McDonalds, keep your fridge stocked with healthy ready meals which take 5 mins in the microwave which actually takes less time than going through the drive thru. It’s the excuses, so many excuses. ANY eating choice you make can be a healthy one if you want it to be. It’s your CHOICE and yours alone what you put in your gob. I would actually applaud someone who said.. you know what, I don’t like healthy food so I choose not to eat it And that’s why I am fat. That’s nobody’s business but the lame excuses as to why you can’t do that are ridiculous. Some people on this thread are very honest about that and others blame everyone else except themselves. Binge eating disorders are real and many people have them but be honest about it.

This.

I do feel sorry for overweight people who feel there is nothing they can do but all the denial is the problem. The blind acceptance that's it an 'addiction' that they have no control over. You do have control and choices. Busy nurses on a 12hr shift or not, take a healthy meal deal from Tesco, a wrap and a banana. Just plan ahead.

BustyLee · 09/05/2024 07:31

I want to add to my previous posts that I think the medical profession adds to the problem of obesity and overweight by constantly banging on about the potential health risks brought about by both. It gives people license to discriminate against fat people and I am not sure it is even true.

I am obese and when I go to gym group classes I feel a bit ostracised by younger skinnier people. When we get into the class they just can’t keep up with me even though I am twice their size and age. I guess it is genetics. Under the fat I have an athletic build.

Likewise, my family bang on about me needing to lose weight yet I am the only one amongst my siblings who does not have type 2 diabetes. One of my (very thin) siblings is incandescent with rage about this fact. Because it is a family condition I may well develop it in time but for the moment I haven’t - I am also older than the others. Go figure.

I would like the medical profession to stop scaremongering (the perils probably apply to those who are morbidly obese?) and to treat fat people with a bit more dignity. It might help people to actually lose weight rather than becoming so anxious that - ironically - they give in to stress eating.

Coatsoff42 · 09/05/2024 07:13

Mirabai · 08/05/2024 22:01

The point is it does in some people. When I’m very busy and don’t get a chance to eat I lose rather than gain weight - the same is true for many people. It’s normal for people to lose weight at times of high stress - job, divorce, house move, bereavement etc.

The problem with nurses is they have to keep a sharp brain, it’s unsafe for them to be tired and foggy and unfocused, in a high risk, high stress environment, where they are knackered from long shift after long shift with few breaks. Hearing awful sad story after awful sad story. They eat whatever they can grab to wake themselves up ASAP, and cheer up and carry on listening, assessing and saving lives.
Obviously crap food and coffee are very effective and quick.
They are choosing to put the safety of their patients before their own health day after day after day after day.
You probably don’t understand that.

Youcantellalotofthingsabouttheflowers · 09/05/2024 00:50

Blink1985 · 09/05/2024 00:44

I think if I was in their position , I would find it “quite patronising and hypocritical” that someone looking for advice from me as the professional would then post on a forum about my supposed questionable stance as said professional because of my weight /appearance.

She didn’t look for advice from them, she was there for a routine checkup and is not overweight.

Blink1985 · 09/05/2024 00:44

Vikingess · 07/05/2024 21:41

You are right. Sorry. They are qualified to give the right advice even though they obviously weren’t able to follow it themselves. I think I just found it quite patronising and hypocritical it the way the advice was delivered.

I think if I was in their position , I would find it “quite patronising and hypocritical” that someone looking for advice from me as the professional would then post on a forum about my supposed questionable stance as said professional because of my weight /appearance.

Youcantellalotofthingsabouttheflowers · 09/05/2024 00:21

Maverickess · 08/05/2024 23:55

Let's be honest, this is where the issue lies.

People who can do that, who have the 'almost overwhelming will power' view themselves as morally better and anyone who doesn't quite meet the standard is harshly judged as not being good enough.

We can argue the points of lifestyle, work demands and, medical reasons, mental health issues all day long, the fact is people who can do it and sustain it consider themselves better humans than those who can't and are fat and that gives them a perfect excuse to lay into someone else and feel validated for doing it.

Being overweight is one aspect of a person who is made up of several aspects, some positive and some negative, some obvious and some not, yet everything about them is written off because one of their negative aspects is visible, easily identified and this is the reason a sensible conversation can't be had about it because the cause of the 'concern' doesn't lie in genuine worry about those people or the NHS or anything else, it lies in looking for reasons to judge others, find them wanting and then get an ego boost because you're better than they are.

You are right in saying fat is visible. You know someone overeats by looking at them ( again taking medication out of it). You don’t always know if someone is a functioning alcoholic or a Coke addict by looking at them. A lot of people’s initial opinions on seeing a fat individual screams lazy, greedy, gluttonous etc. This of course is a misconception. I am not saying everyone has BED because they don’t but a lot of people do. Same way if someone is very very thin, people automatically think it’s anorexia. It a lot of cases it is but in some cases it’s not. The same excuses are given, genetics, no time to eat, metabolism, stress…
Denial is a huge part of addiction and is all over this thread. People will give any excuse under the sun for being fat rather than putting it down to overeating which is what BED is. A disorder and a compulsion to overeat.
People judge addicts all the time because they don’t have the addiction and they don’t understand it. People find it hard to grasp why anyone would willfully damage their bodies. They don’t get the mental health aspect of it and put it down to a lack of willpower whist it is anything but. Unfortunately for overweight people they wear their addiction every day because it is openly visible.
I don’t judge fat people and think I am better than them because I am not. I have had addiction issues in the past but nobody knew about mine so for me, that was easier. I could hide it. Fat people don’t have that luxury.

Maverickess · 08/05/2024 23:55

Meadowlands · 08/05/2024 22:50

@youcantellalotofthingsabouttheflowers
I totally agree with everything you say.
And it frustrates me when people say to me"it's ok for you , you're not overweight"as if it's all so easy. I could dive into a family sized bag of crisps and 6 bars of chocolate right now. It takes an almost overwhelming amount of will power not to. But the difference is, I don't.

Let's be honest, this is where the issue lies.

People who can do that, who have the 'almost overwhelming will power' view themselves as morally better and anyone who doesn't quite meet the standard is harshly judged as not being good enough.

We can argue the points of lifestyle, work demands and, medical reasons, mental health issues all day long, the fact is people who can do it and sustain it consider themselves better humans than those who can't and are fat and that gives them a perfect excuse to lay into someone else and feel validated for doing it.

Being overweight is one aspect of a person who is made up of several aspects, some positive and some negative, some obvious and some not, yet everything about them is written off because one of their negative aspects is visible, easily identified and this is the reason a sensible conversation can't be had about it because the cause of the 'concern' doesn't lie in genuine worry about those people or the NHS or anything else, it lies in looking for reasons to judge others, find them wanting and then get an ego boost because you're better than they are.

Youcantellalotofthingsabouttheflowers · 08/05/2024 23:38

BeretRaspberry · 08/05/2024 23:31

Fat people also don’t.

Maybe not but they would have to be eating significantly more crap than someone who is not overweight (taking the very small minority of those on medication out of the equation).

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