Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think most women on here hate men

739 replies

Tanyahawkes · 07/05/2024 18:45

Sorry for the rant but I’m noticing a pattern on mn, any post involving a man and a disagreement results in multiple calls of he’s a narcissist, he’s abusing, he’s controlling, leave the bastard!

I’ll admit that a list of posts do involve behaviour that is not nice from dh and dp. So many posts also can be interpreted in many ways too, I just feel like a large number of women jump to the worst conclusion first about a strangers partner, having only one side of a story told in a short version.

for anyone misunderstanding me, if a post says the partner is hurting physically, calling names, cheating, putting the op down, then yes I agree, ltb (so long as the post is true) it’s when a post says “great relationship, today partner upset me and we couldn’t see eye to eye” and everyone calls the poor guy a narcissist etc

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
PamPamPamPam · 10/05/2024 23:32

@taleasoldashoney oh yes, my "lady companion" and I have a couple of appropriately placed fainting couches for just such occasions.

WalrusOfLove · 10/05/2024 23:22

I think it was The Economist that did a study which found that childless female execs 'continued to be promoted more aggressively than their male counterparts'.

I read it on here and was sceptical but the link was legit, it was a female economist talking about it in a discussion around feminism.

WalrusOfLove · 10/05/2024 23:19

PamPamPamPam · 10/05/2024 17:24

I'm not sure that this is necessarily the case anymore, certainly in my group, more of the women have careers, homes and assets. I would need to find the reference but I saw a stat recently that said that more single women own their own homes compared to single men.

Show quote history

I don't doubt that. I remember reading that young women have outearned men for well over a decade with it only reversing around 35-40 when they have kids.

However, I more meant that women are more reluctant to marry a lower earner. Men who earn less or are a SAHD are statistically more likely to be divorced.

Catsmere · 10/05/2024 22:24

PamPamPamPam · 10/05/2024 17:28

@Spywoman @Catsmere it's practically Victorian isn't it? I'll be told I'm hysterical next.

Or even earlier, and that it's all caused by your Wandering Womb!

taleasoldashoney · 10/05/2024 18:05

PamPamPamPam · 10/05/2024 17:28

@Spywoman @Catsmere it's practically Victorian isn't it? I'll be told I'm hysterical next.

I hope you have a chaise to hand for when you swoon gracefully

AbFabDaaaaahling · 10/05/2024 17:39

@PamPamPamPam Well if there's one thing we can agree on, I'm guessing neither of us are a Mrs 😀

PamPamPamPam · 10/05/2024 17:28

@Spywoman @Catsmere it's practically Victorian isn't it? I'll be told I'm hysterical next.

PamPamPamPam · 10/05/2024 17:24

WalrusOfLove · 10/05/2024 16:26

I've no stats for it but I'd imagine it's much more common for men to 'marry down' as financial security isn't usually part of the dating criteria for most men.

I'm not sure that this is necessarily the case anymore, certainly in my group, more of the women have careers, homes and assets. I would need to find the reference but I saw a stat recently that said that more single women own their own homes compared to single men.

WalrusOfLove · 10/05/2024 16:26

I've no stats for it but I'd imagine it's much more common for men to 'marry down' as financial security isn't usually part of the dating criteria for most men.

Youdontevengohere · 10/05/2024 15:57

AbFabDaaaaahling · 10/05/2024 15:41

@taleasoldashoney It really is fascinating. Do you think the much younger woman marrying much older wealthy man is a fallacy?

Well I’m sure it happens, just like all different combinations of couples happen. I don’t think it’s particularly common, though.

AbFabDaaaaahling · 10/05/2024 15:41

@taleasoldashoney It really is fascinating. Do you think the much younger woman marrying much older wealthy man is a fallacy?

taleasoldashoney · 10/05/2024 13:52

IPPR stats from 2012 (so admittedly somewhat outdated now), but the only stats I can find

The latest generation of women, born between 1976-1981 and aged 28-33 at the beginning of this decade, are even more likely to have married a partner in the same social class (56 per cent) and far less likely to have a partner from a higher social class than themselves (16 per cent). Most significantly, for this modern generation of women, a higher proportion have married a partner of a lower social class than themselves for the very first time (28 per cent).

Youdontevengohere · 10/05/2024 13:37

AbFabDaaaaahling · 10/05/2024 13:00

@Youdontevengohere I wonder what the case is in wealthier areas? I suppose men and women in those areas are also of equal/similar financial standing?

I have no idea TBH, although I’m sure stats exist on it. I was just saying that not being wealthy doesn’t appear to prevent men from finding partners, in my experience. Or is your point that wealthy women wouldn’t go out with non wealthy men?

AbFabDaaaaahling · 10/05/2024 13:00

@Youdontevengohere I wonder what the case is in wealthier areas? I suppose men and women in those areas are also of equal/similar financial standing?

TheaBrandt · 10/05/2024 12:48

When they first let women into Cambridge the male students quite literally rioted in protest.

WalrusOfLove · 10/05/2024 12:34

TheaBrandt · 10/05/2024 06:40

If a dispassionate alien came down and observed society and how men as a class dominate and abuse women as a class and have done for a millennia they would be incredulous that women have anything to do with men at all - let alone whine that women dare to ”hate” them.

Just look at the stats! The porn /the punter review sites / incel culture /the rape in war / 2 women a week killed /the fact that society is set by and run for men. They only let us participate because we fought back via the suffragettes and that was grudging. The hate is pretty much one way dear and it ain’t coming from Us!

Wasn't it more the war effort and women's solidarity with men during that period that resulted in the vote? And the fact that other countries including Australia had already given women the vote, making Britain look a bit backwards.

I'm sure I've read that the suffragettes mostly disbanded before the war so I think it's more likely the result of women's wartime effort.

Youdontevengohere · 10/05/2024 12:13

AbFabDaaaaahling · 10/05/2024 09:38

@5128gap Less wealthy men probably struggle to find a woman, too?

That’s not my experience. I live in a working class area, not much wealth around, and there doesn’t seem to be any fewer ‘coupled up’ people than in more wealthy areas 🤷🏻‍♀️.

5128gap · 10/05/2024 10:06

AbFabDaaaaahling · 10/05/2024 09:38

@5128gap Less wealthy men probably struggle to find a woman, too?

Not in my experience they don't, and I'm a WC woman from a deprived area, so I've known plenty of them, and they're certainly not all single. Obviously if less wealthy men set their sights on a cohort of women who value wealth highly, they will be disappointed. Just as short men won't attract women who value height, or dim witted ones won't appeal to women who prize intelligence. But, that's tough, isn't it? Few of us get to choose from every single member of our preferred sex.

AbFabDaaaaahling · 10/05/2024 09:38

@5128gap Less wealthy men probably struggle to find a woman, too?

5128gap · 10/05/2024 08:36

AbFabDaaaaahling · 10/05/2024 08:23

@Catsmere Men. Who needs them, eh?!!

If you're a decent man, I'm sure there will be a woman out there who will want you, even if they don't need you. Some women don't want men and that's their perogative, but good men don't typically struggle to find a partner despite that. Rather than blame 'man haters' if you're struggling to find women to consider you, you maybe need to reflect on how you come across.
(I'm using the general 'you' here of course. Because I know you personally are a happily married feminist lady. Obviously.)

AbFabDaaaaahling · 10/05/2024 08:23

@Catsmere Men. Who needs them, eh?!!

Catsmere · 10/05/2024 08:20

Or setting up for all the MRAs to spout their rubbish.

AbFabDaaaaahling · 10/05/2024 08:20

Yes, women never take advantage of men, only ever the other way around. That's actually impossible.
Anyway, can't add any more right now. I'm off to have my nails done with my husband's hard-earned cash and then for brunch with a group of my like-minded feminist girl friends.

TheaBrandt · 10/05/2024 08:14

When I see numerous mainstream porn sites with lots of “teen boy destroyed by older women” etc then I’ll believe the hate is both ways…! Come on op is taking the piss surely

Catsmere · 10/05/2024 07:15

TheaBrandt · 10/05/2024 06:40

If a dispassionate alien came down and observed society and how men as a class dominate and abuse women as a class and have done for a millennia they would be incredulous that women have anything to do with men at all - let alone whine that women dare to ”hate” them.

Just look at the stats! The porn /the punter review sites / incel culture /the rape in war / 2 women a week killed /the fact that society is set by and run for men. They only let us participate because we fought back via the suffragettes and that was grudging. The hate is pretty much one way dear and it ain’t coming from Us!

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏