To think most women on here hate men

I'm sure men have ample access to sites, including the misogynistic cesspools of some of the major SM outlets, which cater fully and as patriarchally as ever to centring their considerably privileged interests.

The clue here is in the name. Mumsnet.

Neither are women @SerafinasGoose

What I see is a site full of women who have bravely shared the most terrible stories of their abuse, sexual and physical, at the hands of men. Who rape them in their sleep. Who abused them as children and caused lasting psychological damage. Who accost them in public and terrify them out of their wits. One of whom kicked the living shit out of a random woman in the swimming pool for no reason she could see, other than that she was the faster swimmer.

That you can look at this site and see a bunch of man-hating harridans, OP, whilst I look at it and see the above, speaks volumes about the way in which you and I view women.

It's a support site geared mainly at a female demographic. It's largely women doing the supporting of other women who post here in desperation, the victims of terrible domestic abuse, and helping them through - and out on the other side of - that situation.

Men are, strange though it may seem to you, not constantly the centre and the sun of human experience.

I think most women on here care about their sisters and recognise we live in a very unequal society where women are much more likely to be taken advantage of in relationships. Hating the patriarchy doesn't mean we hate men.

@strangewomenlyinginponds "on this site feel they can comment on appalling cruelty they have experienced quite safely"

This is an excellent point and really chilling to read it, actually.

Sex isn't "withheld", that would imply that the asker was entitled to it and therefore the person not agreeing to the sex was "withholding" it

But sex isn't a right

And men who complain that women withhold sex are normally trying to imply that women are using it in a disagreement to try to get their own way I.e. "she wanted me to do this and I wouldn't so she withheld sex until I agreed". But quite frankly for a lot of women there's nothing that's a turn on about a man you are fighting with/disagreeing with so why would they have sex at that particular time

So yeah men who complain that their ex's withhold sex are a red flag. Because the tern withholding implies its the man's (in this case) right which is being withheld. That's pretty rapey language tbh.

I think that is the issue though; assuming all women must want to be paired up like we're about to be herded onto an Ark. I have had my fair share of relationships, some very long term, some short. I can honestly say they weren't all bad but a lot of them needed a lot of work. I think as women we have put up with so much from men it is refreshing to see the tide turning and women standing up and saying "we are not unpaid therapists". It's men's turn to do the work, pay for proper help and recognise love isn't a woman who just has to put up with their bad behaviour. The less women doing the pick me dance over knob heads the better. It will help progress for everyone.

I have male friends, I am not a misandrist by any means. I meet nice guys in the woods and we chat about our dogs, some polite men in cars. Unfortunately though, I also meet a lot of men tailgating, shouting obscenities, gesticulating in cars. As I posted on the Bear/Man in the wood thread I also see men lurking in the woods on walks once a week and have to change course because I feel fear. I don't know why these men do these things but I know women don't do them nearly so often if ever. I actually have never been tailgated by a woman or seen a female lurker. So why? Why do men do this? Because no one tells them it's not normal/thoughtful behaviour and we expect better. If you don't ask and teach they don't know and act selfishly. That's my take on it. The more women who feel empowered to tell their partner/DH/DS etc that their behaviour needs to be of a good standard the better. How can it be a bad thing to be a better human, whatever your sex? Women aim for it and so should men.

Most women hate men's shit behaviour and specifically on this site feel they can comment on appalling cruelty they have experienced quite safely.

In real life handmaidens and cheerleaders are quick to leap in and tell them to be nicer, kinder and "not all men" them.

So you'll probably notice more posts by desperately unhappy women who feel they have no other outlet for their misery on this site.

A comedian who I follow on instagram said something which I think is pretty chilling in its accuracy about the whole Roman Empire thing that men apparently think about every day or however often it is they supposedly think about it. She said her "Roman Empire" was Sarah Everard. This was in response to a purportedly glib and funny post she'd put up about would you rather find yourself alone in the woods with a bear or a strange man and so so many of her followers said bear, and then some poster (I can only assume they were male) said that that was stupid all the women were saying bear, because obviously bears are really dangerous and may well kill you. And that's when she said she realised Sarah Everard was her Roman Empire.

I think OP if you have some impression that every woman on MN hates men, it's because we're tired and fed up of being abused by them and/or scared of them. And I say that as someone who doesn't hate the men in my life by any means, I'm lucky enough to have some wonderful men in my life but I can see it.

Yep. I do! I'm married to a good un and have a good grown up son and a few good male friends, but they agree with me that men are awful, nasty pigs on the whole

You are more than welcome 😃

I would guess MN posters tend to skew older and if they're anything like me they've become jaded.

Men start wars, they kill and abuse women they marry and they kill other men.

The ones that aren't killing, are benefiting from a system weighted in their favour. It's rare to find a man who not only accepts that, but actively kicks back against it.

I've met "good guys" who have sat quietly while women are objectified or misogynistic language is used.

So I don't hate men. But I'm over their domination of the planet and the women on it.

No one is perfect. But then expecting respect, honesty etc from someone is hardly expecting perfection.

I don't expect my husband to be perfect but he sure as hell wouldn't be my husband if he acted like the one in the link you posted.

Well, appreciate we're only getting one side of things, but based on a lot of posts on here the impression I have is of a depressingly high number of women who are married to / in a relationship with, complete arseholes - and I don't say that lightly, it's genuinely surprising and so depressing that there are apparently this number of men out there who treat their partners, who are very often the mothers of their children, so appallingly.

So really based on so many of the posts on here I think actually many many men hate women, rather than the other way around. But then we already know that don't we based upon the number of men who we know assault, rape and murder women.

I have the opposite problem tbh. My Ex is kind, gentle, hardworking, does his share of housework. My current DP is a sweetheart, does whatever I ask, has an anarchic SOH and can reduce me to tears of laughter, generous and easygoing. Do I swap him for another sweetie who seems to have all these qualities?? 🤔

I do pretty much hate men as a class yeah. I don't care what anyone thinks of me for that, once you've been assaulted and harassed by multiple men, causing you ptsd, you do tend to stop giving a fuck if people think you're a man hater. Pretty much all human made suffering in the world can be attributed to the patriarchy and male anger. How many wars were started by women? How many women are killed every year by men? How many rapes occur every year, carried out by men?

On mn specifically, if a man is acting like a complete dickhead to his family, i don't think the woman has any particular responsibility to try and fix him or to give him multiple seconds chances. He should be fixing himself and doing the work on himself, not forcing a woman to do the work for him.

No, I don't hate men. And I'm a radical feminist. And I think not enough women on here are clear sighted about men, they have the most depressingly low bar.

Lol I like the post where a man is explaining that he doesn't see that on here then someone quotes him saying "thanks for the mansplaining bro" honestly there are some right nobs on here