To think most women on here hate men

I think I’d prefer a set up that reflects the needs of all involved. Equality at the moment means that women work full time whilst still being the main carers and carrying the mental load. They are more likely to be the parent that picks up a sick child, that takes time off to care for the sick child. That starts to care for elderly parents. That cuts her working hours because life and full time work can be incredibly difficult when you’re trying to juggle it all.
They are also more likely to have issues related to periods, pregnancy and childbirth - not an illness, but not something that men need to consider at all. Plus conditions relating to and caused by them. Again not something that men need to consider or heal from/manage.
Men succeeding at work usually have someone supporting them so they don’t need to do the domestic stuff at home. Women succeeding are more likely to do so despite holding the fort at home as well.
Similarly to the current medical system that views men as the default, and routinely dismisses and minimises conditions that women go though, and prescribes drugs tested on men that often have more adverse reactions in women, and misdiagnoses conditions because they’re not presenting in a default male way (autism, adhd, heart attacks etc), and misdiagnoses conditions because student drs typically spend barely any time on menopause, or setting blood test levels that often mean women’s fatigue or chronic illnesses are overlooked because they’re not taking into account that female physiology is different to men’s and a normal level on paper can be debilitating for a woman (see thyroid issues, iron levels).
I do understand your point, but the expectations on you are much higher as a woman than it is for a man. That’s where equality and equity get mixed up.

The underlying demographic factors contributing to crime rates amongst ethnic minorities are entirely different from those contributing to sexual and violent crime against women by men. Not to mention that almost all sexual offenders are men.

Do you even see how offensive that is to ethnic minorities?

Do you also realise that the bizarre false equivalence you are making between what you call 'misandry' and racism is racist in itself?

@Comedycook oh I would love to have an answer to that! Let's see if we get one...

Why would your employer having an understanding of how your physiology may affect you lead to them having different (or lower) expectations of you? That does not make any sense. Again, it's ingrained misogyny.

Why would being honest about the effects of having periods lead to being perceived as weaker or less able than a man? That is such a misogynistic attitude. Can you not see that?

So you don't want maternity leave? Or time off for ante natal appointments?

We can and should have empathy with people whose views are influenced by traumatic experiences, while at the same time accepting that their opinions are likely to be jaundiced and should be taken with a pinch of salt.

People affected by alcohol, drugs, gambling, infidelity or much worse are naturally going to jump to the worst case scenarios when giving advice to others, and this advice is only useful if taken in the context in which its given. The friends who understandably see the worst of these demons lurking in every situation are likely to give well-meaning advice that may be counterproductive to follow.

I’m with you there.

@ToveJanssonsWife Again, I do not want my employer to treat me any differently to my male colleagues. The expectations of me should be exactly the same; no more and no less. Don't make exceptions for me because I am a woman, thank you.

Surely that wasn’t the point though.
The point was that our physiology and general
needs are different to men’s.
Men don’t have the hormonal fluctuations to the extent that women do.
Men don’t bleed for a week every month for 40 years (or a week every three weeks, or have stupid heavy periods that need medicating and still leave you depleted in iron etc).
Men can’t grow babies and men tend not to be the main carers of them once those babies are born.
Biology dictates that men and women are, indeed, different. This is not about women being victims.
Work places are set up with men as the default human.

You're the one who made the comparison, not me. Why do you think Jew on woman violence is comparable to man on woman violence if the stats are not comparable at all and if ethnicity isn't comparable to biological sex?

Or are you making a false equivalence?

Maybe have a think about why being honest about the fact that spending a quarter of one's life bleeding for approximately 30 years can present physical and psychological difficulties could lead to more misogyny in the workplace? Just think about it for a minute will you?

We are constantly trying to slot into a system that was not designed for us. This system was designed by men for men. The workplace was designed by men for men. Society has been designed by men for men. Why is that so difficult to understand?

I have to literally arrange my working month around my period. I try not to go away for work when I'm on my period. I try not to attend certain work events when I'm on my period. I have had to literally run out of rooms as I have started flooding before. I have friends and family members who have PCOS, endometriosis, those who have had to have a hysterectomy and take months off work. Do you genuinely think none of this matters? Really?

@PamPamPamPam I absolutely don't want to be treated any differently to men "because I have periods." Let's not widen the misogyny in employment that goes on already.

OK, but if somebody called an ethnic minority 'parasites' for being over represented in crime stats I don't think it'd wash.

So racism would be acceptable if criminal activity reached a certain level?

I think that's a slippery slope as certain ethnicities are already 'over represented at every stage of the criminal justice system' according to the ONS.

They say a good test of whether you're being a bigot is to apply the statement to another demographic and see if it sounds offensive.

I think the best test of a statement is whether it is demonstrably true or not. Do you think it’s a good idea for people not to be allowed to make true, statistically accurate statements on the grounds that they might offend people? I don't agree with that poster's statement about most men being parasites on women. But you wouldn't gain much by reversing the statement 'Almost all sexual offences are committed by men' and applying it to women, Jews or anyone else, would you?

Well, if it would be offensive to say it about another demographic then why is it acceptable to say about this demographic? 💡

Well exactly. Nearly 99% of sexual offences are committed by men. If any demographic had a percentage that high, I'd think it worth thinking about at the very least.

Are the stats of Jew-on-woman violence comparable to the man-on-woman ones?

I, personally, have never seen 'NAMALT ... BUT ... Man X did a horrible thing to me' used in such a way. Bringing race into a thread like this is low; not to mention inaccurate and offensive to those who deal with racism on a daily basis.

However.

Peppering the threads of victims of abuse and sexual violence with 'NAMALT', as this site routinely does, is something else entirely. I wouldn't be crass enough to compare this with racial discrimination. What it is, beyond doubt, is apologism for male violence. And this raises interesting questions about who precisely stands to gain by keeping the status quo as regards sex-based power and dominance exactly as it is.

If 'Pick Me' women think their staunch support for the partriarchy and apologism for male violence against those strident, bra-burning feminists is going to save them from suffering in some way and at some time at its hands, they're deluding themselves.

This post takes the biscuit as about the weakest protestation I've seen on this thread so far.

And it has stiff competition.

Prefacing a rant about men with NAMALT is basically the new "I'm not racist but..." 🤣🤣🤣

I think for me it’s that the older I get the more I realise that nearly all men are parasites on women, the good ones too.

They say a good test of whether you're being a bigot is to apply the statement to another demographic and see if it sounds offensive.

If we said "nearly all jews are parasites on women, the good ones too", do you think this would be deemed an acceptable thing to say? 🤔

Would I rather be the most powerful member of the most disadvantaged group or the least powerful member of the most advantaged? 🤔

Hard choice that. You could be the richest woman in the world or a homeless alcoholic male.

I do agree…I see the advice being very different, depending on whether it’s a man or a woman that did something. I get it that this is primarily a support group for women and it has its value as a site to vent to other women, but it also becomes an echo chamber and I think it’s almost impossible to get a balanced view on a relationship issue.

It becomes even more apparent when it comes to finances, sometimes you see posts from a woman that sound q bit bad but then you think, if this was reversed, a woman staying at home with a partner that is the bread winner and the wife controlled the money, they wouldn't call her abusive.