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Original poster

To be upset that ex named his daughter like mine?

87 replies

Spanishbydora · 07/05/2024 17:06

I really would love some opinion. Ex and I have 2 daughters, and are both from Latin America. We picked names that reflected our culture. The two girls are 14 and 11.

I have since remarried, for the past 7 years. I had a third baby girl. Her father is from East Africa, and she was named after her grandmother. She is now 4.

My ex had a baby girl a year ago with his girlfriend ( who is Spanish) , and they named her just like my daughter and MiL. It annoys me so much, I am having a hard time.

My 2 eldest refer to their siblings as "Little X and big X". I haven't said anything, but it really annoys me.

My husband is more relaxed , he finds it hilarious that a little white girl has that name. He hasn't shown any anger.

Albu, right?

OP posts:
JanewaysBun · 07/05/2024 17:50

Depends on the name, if it's Safiya/Amani or along those lines i can see how they arrived on the name vs something less popular. Although no idea why the GF would want the same name as you, very odd.

SlashBeef · 07/05/2024 17:49

Really weird behaviour! Yanbu

StormingNorman · 07/05/2024 17:45

He is absolutely unhinged. And how the hell did he get the new wife to go along with it.

Whatever fucked up reason he had, it’s his poor daughter who is going to grow up knowing her dad chose the same name as his exW. This is going to be weird for her too. It will never just be her name.

singingthypraises · 07/05/2024 17:43

I think it depends on whether your ex chose the name or if it's one his new partner had shortlisted herself. So if it's a Swahili name like Aaliyah, Aiysha, Nala or Nya then there's more of a chance the mum heard the name elsewhere and just loved it. Whereas if it's genuinely an unusual name more like Binti, Niagh or Sikudhani then it's more likely they just copied you. I would feel annoyed too though so I can see where you're coming from.

Dayfurrrrit · 07/05/2024 17:41

you can’t do anything about it and need to move past it but yes it is very weird. And everyone who knows will be thinking they are weird.

Butchyrestingface · 07/05/2024 17:40

Spanishbydora · 07/05/2024 17:25

Yes. He was a liar and a cheater, but always accused me of being the one cheating, claiming our daughters weren't his.

As soon as I left him, he suddenly became obsessed with getting custody.

Show quote history

Okay. Well, I don't think you have to be Freud to see what is happening here.

At least he's some other woman's problem now. Smile

Gangof7 · 07/05/2024 17:39

It seems deliberate/weird to me but I’m also amazed that his new partner went along with it 😬

loropianalover · 07/05/2024 17:39

Really weird!! What were him and his new partner thinking, absolutely strange behaviour.

OP all you can do is get on with life and interact as little as possible. This is going to come up with friends, teachers etc. over the years and you’ll just have to smile knowingly at them and give them ‘the look’ to let them know that you know he’s a weirdo, you just can’t say anything!

StormingNorman · 07/05/2024 17:37

ZipZapZoom · 07/05/2024 17:16

That's what I was trying to work out but wasn't sure if I was misunderstanding. It sounds like that exactly what's he's done which is just fucking weird.

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OP has a daughter named X with her new husband.

ExH has named his daughter X with his new wife.

StormingNorman · 07/05/2024 17:35

vivainsomnia · 07/05/2024 17:14

Also, not sure about the 'white' girl with an African name highlight. Do names have skin colours?

Don’t be so disingenuous.

BrightYellowStar · 07/05/2024 17:34

Definitely strange!

I suspect he has done it to get a rise from you. Then you would be contributing to his “my ex is a lunatic” narrative.

Completely ignore the issue. He will purposely bring it up. Act nonchalant and comment, “We don’t have exclusive rights to her name” and change the subject. He will possibly implode!

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 07/05/2024 17:34

Very weird all round but since you can't do anything about it I would ignore it.

PiggieWig · 07/05/2024 17:34

I find it a bit weird yes. I wouldn’t name my child the same as a close friend had named theirs, even if it was really common. I definitely wouldn’t choose the same name as my ex had chosen for their child.

Theres nothing you can do but roll your eyes but I see how it can grate.

SpeedwellBlue · 07/05/2024 17:32

Spanishbydora · 07/05/2024 17:20

Well, it's an old Swahili name, very common in Uganda for older women. Of course it's strange.

Would you find the name Ming-Ming on a white Scottish person culturally appropriate?

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No, I agree it's a strange thing for them to do.

DNAwrangler · 07/05/2024 17:27

I mean it does sound weird. Nothing you can do about it though , so you might as well move on.

brainexplorer · 07/05/2024 17:26

It's so weird! I can't believe anyone would defend it. I mean, there's nothing you can do about it, but with the hundreds of thousands of names available to them they chose the one his ex and her new partner used? It would be strange even if it wasn't culturally inappropriate.

Original poster
Spanishbydora · 07/05/2024 17:25

Butchyrestingface · 07/05/2024 17:23

It's definitely a little weird.

Did YOU dump him?

Show quote history

Yes. He was a liar and a cheater, but always accused me of being the one cheating, claiming our daughters weren't his.

As soon as I left him, he suddenly became obsessed with getting custody.

OP posts:
Butchyrestingface · 07/05/2024 17:23

Spanishbydora · 07/05/2024 17:21

No. He hasn't got 2 daughters with the same name. Sorry I meant, he had a daughter with a new woman. I had a daughter with a new man too.

It's definitely a little weird.

Did YOU dump him?

ZipZapZoom · 07/05/2024 17:21

chillinwithmygnomies · 07/05/2024 17:19

I read it as ops ex partner has had a baby with his new partner and named the baby the same as op and new husbands daughter... If that makes sense 🤦🏼‍♀️

They makes more sense. I think the excessive detail made it more confusing.

It's still weird but not as weird then.

Original poster
Spanishbydora · 07/05/2024 17:21

No. He hasn't got 2 daughters with the same name. Sorry I meant, he had a daughter with a new woman. I had a daughter with a new man too.

OP posts:
fedupandstuck · 07/05/2024 17:21

The ex hasn't called two of his daughters the same name. He has called his newest child the same name as the OPs youngest child, with her new partner. So those two children are not related (OP and new partner, Ex with his new partner) but the older siblings now have two younger half siblings with the same name.

Which is a bit weird of him to have done that. Especially as it's not from his culture.

Butchyrestingface · 07/05/2024 17:20

OP and ex have two daughters together.

They split.

OP has another bambina with Partner Number 2. They give it an African name.

Ex gets together with another woman. They also have a little girl. They gave it same African name that OP has given her daughter with new partner.

OP and ex's two daughters together now have a half sister through their mum and a half sister through their dad, each with the same name. They must refer to one as 'Big X' an the other as 'Little X' to differentiate them.

Pomegranatecarnage · 07/05/2024 17:20

Limberinta · 07/05/2024 17:14

He has called 2 of his daughters the exact same name?

No. The OP and her ex have 2 DDs together. Both have gone on to have a third child with new partners. OP named her third daughter for her MIL. Several years later her ex had a third daughter with his new partner. They called her the same name as OP’s 4 year old third child.

Original poster
Spanishbydora · 07/05/2024 17:20

vivainsomnia · 07/05/2024 17:14

Also, not sure about the 'white' girl with an African name highlight. Do names have skin colours?

Well, it's an old Swahili name, very common in Uganda for older women. Of course it's strange.

Would you find the name Ming-Ming on a white Scottish person culturally appropriate?

OP posts:
chillinwithmygnomies · 07/05/2024 17:19

I read it as ops ex partner has had a baby with his new partner and named the baby the same as op and new husbands daughter... If that makes sense 🤦🏼‍♀️

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