Background info: me (f,26) and partner (m,28) moved into granny flat on my parents land last year. I put all my savings into building this with the help of my parents and grandparents. He put some money into it (bought fridge and oil for heating). Bear in mind he earns about 4x the amount I do. I only work part time as I have a history of ill mental health, am autistic and have suspected inattentive adhd. He does 3-4 12 hour shifts a week.
I pay a small amount of rent to my parents as it is on their land and he buys the food shopping weekly. I do all the cooking, laundry, dishes & clean the bathroom as well as taking the majority of responsibility for our two dogs.
we often have arguments as he doesn’t think I do enough cleaning and don’t clean to a good enough standard. He can’t clean much as he works and often sleeps on his days off. I completely empathise that his work is tiring. I have tried to do better with the cleaning in the house so he doesn’t get annoyed with me but it never seems to be enough. I know I am in the house a lot more than him so a lot more of the duties would fall on me. However, I really struggle with simple tasks which I believe is due to my autism & suspected adhd (I hate to use excuses but that’s just my reality). I’m also just out of hospital due to suspected chrons disease which often leaves me quite fatigued and under the weather. As soon as I came home from the hospital last week he made me do laundry as he didn’t get a chance to do it as he was working. But I was in hospital ??? I understand he works and is tired but am I being unreasonable? I won’t lie, I’m probably not the cleanest, I will make dinner and might leave dishes for a few hours before I clean then. He gets annoyed if I don’t do them straight away - despite me cooking his dinner for him while he either sleeps or plays PlayStation.
AIBU? Honest answers but please don’t be harsh on me, I’m trying my best but maybe I need to try more