i don't know how to turn things around
You leave him, is how you turn things around. You should start by calling Women's Aid for some advice. I would also try and open a new bank account, in your name only, without his knowledge, so you can arrange with your employer for your salary to be paid into that instead of a joint account or an account in his name.
Then you can leave. Even if you live in a cheap temporary rental like an Airbnb while you're looking for something more permanent, you actually hold all the financial power here. The fact that the tenancy agreement on your house is in his name only means that he's responsible for paying any rent for the remainder of the tenancy. You can literally just walk away from him, with your salary, and leave him to it. You don't even need to give him your new address.
You say 'DP' - am I to assume you're not married? Even better - no divorce costs and no need to split any assets.
He is seriously, seriously abusive. Even if he's not violent (which obviously he might be, for all I know) it's still abuse. You're not being 'mugged off', you are being severely controlled and abused and it is well within your power to put an end to it now.