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AIBU?

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Original poster

Am I being mugged off by DP

238 replies

Maccaj78 · 07/05/2024 13:51

I have been with my DP for 14 Years which have not been easy. He has always been difficult unless he is getting what's he wants. He has never worked and I do each month he takes my wages and then tells me what I am allowed to have and then I practically have to beg for it. I earn good money yet he always insists we have none. My money pays all bills and food and he says he doesn't have anything yet there are always online packages arriving. He screams if I ask when he got them as he got them with his own money lol!! The other I questioned this again and he told me to get out of his house (which I pay for) knowing I have no where to go and that I have only just handed him my wages. I then looked into an old email of mine that he is using and found hundreds of online receipts from DH Gate and eBay as he constantly tells me he never gets anything. He just told me they were things he sent back.. lies because his wardrobe (which I rarely go in) is full of brand new clothes in packets he told he just likes stuff. He wears the same thing everyday!! He said I'm ungrateful for the thing I have and greedy and don't want to buy him anything.
AIBU for thinking I'm being used and mugged off

OP posts:
Benthany · 08/05/2024 00:52

Hope you're okay OP. You deserve so much better than this abusive control freak.

Runnerinthenight · 07/05/2024 23:38

Moonpie6 · 07/05/2024 23:12

I know you can't get mad at them can you.

She knocked a tealight off my fireplace last year and it chipped my marble fireplace. But can't get mad.

I just wish I knew how to keep her off it and the kitchen worktops. Everything is covered in fur.

Your baby sounds gorgeous x

Show quote history

I've got three, two of them long-haired! There is fur everywhere!!! The two tortie/white girls are pretty good about worktops. The floofy boy sleeps on the dining table...! He's half Maine Coon/half Ragdoll.

I hope @Maccaj78 you haven't posted again because you're getting out x

6pence · 07/05/2024 23:26

Stay strong. Get everything out of the house now whilst he’s in custody. Tell the police of all the incidents. Including monitoring your social media.
Dont lose faith now. You’ve done the hard part.

Copperoliverbear · 07/05/2024 23:18

Why an earth are you with this lazy pig, throw him out in the morning.

Hemakesmesmile2 · 07/05/2024 23:17

Erm, yes you’re being treated like a doormat. Why the eff do you give him YOUR salary?! Please please stop letting him abuse you, you deserve so much better than this. He sounds like a lazy, greedy pig.

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 07/05/2024 23:13

💐

Moonpie6 · 07/05/2024 23:12

Runnerinthenight · 07/05/2024 23:07

The gorgeous floofy nutjob I adopted 4 months ago just added a vase to his toll of destruction - following a bowl, a candle holder, a soap dispenser, my glasses and numerous scratches on my dining table and my nearly new sofa... he's lucky I love him!!!

@Maccaj78 honestly, take your chance and get away while he's locked up. He's despicable!

Show quote history

I know you can't get mad at them can you.

She knocked a tealight off my fireplace last year and it chipped my marble fireplace. But can't get mad.

I just wish I knew how to keep her off it and the kitchen worktops. Everything is covered in fur.

Your baby sounds gorgeous x

UPALLNIGHTMNETTING · 07/05/2024 23:11

Boo. Boo this guy. Do something - anything - more interesting than being with him. It will be easy. You have permission to leave this shitshow...

Moonpie6 · 07/05/2024 23:09

Bbq1 · 07/05/2024 23:03

I rarely comment on these threads but I want to say NOW is your chance to get out. Take all you can carry in possessions, Clothes, work stuff, paperwork. Change that bank account tomorrow. Please don't let this golden opportunity go. Like a pp said find a Premier Inn then find am Airbnb but move at least 20 miles away. Whatever you do GET OUT NOW AND DON'T GO BACK. You can have a new, better life.

Make sure you turn your location off on your phone and off your apps such as Snapchat.

I'd even switch it off until you can go to a phone shop or you've checked for malware such as spying stuff. He sounds like the type.

I can't see if you've said you have a car or not? Check for tracker.

Give your important people where you're staying and room number then turn phone off.

I'd definitely consider getting a new number or even handset all together.

If you have any shared accountd such as prime or netflix for example, delete your card details so he can't spend on your cards. Log out of everything and change passwords on email accounts etc.

Runnerinthenight · 07/05/2024 23:09

LoseMeLikeAnArrow · 07/05/2024 23:07

We are all absolutely rooting for you, @Maccaj78 - we want you to triumph! Stay strong. You are bloody brilliant 👏

Absolutely! I just don't understand though - the first time a man demanded my wages, I would have been gone! He must have really done a number on you @Maccaj78!! Posters are here willing you on xx

LoseMeLikeAnArrow · 07/05/2024 23:07

We are all absolutely rooting for you, @Maccaj78 - we want you to triumph! Stay strong. You are bloody brilliant 👏

Runnerinthenight · 07/05/2024 23:07

Moonpie6 · 07/05/2024 23:03

I bloody forget what I was going to say! She's been having a zoomie so wasn't expecting it when she jumped up.

Show quote history

The gorgeous floofy nutjob I adopted 4 months ago just added a vase to his toll of destruction - following a bowl, a candle holder, a soap dispenser, my glasses and numerous scratches on my dining table and my nearly new sofa... he's lucky I love him!!!

@Maccaj78 honestly, take your chance and get away while he's locked up. He's despicable!

Bbq1 · 07/05/2024 23:03

I rarely comment on these threads but I want to say NOW is your chance to get out. Take all you can carry in possessions, Clothes, work stuff, paperwork. Change that bank account tomorrow. Please don't let this golden opportunity go. Like a pp said find a Premier Inn then find am Airbnb but move at least 20 miles away. Whatever you do GET OUT NOW AND DON'T GO BACK. You can have a new, better life.

Moonpie6 · 07/05/2024 23:03

Runnerinthenight · 07/05/2024 22:57

😁bloody cats! (I love them, I have three)

Show quote history

I bloody forget what I was going to say! She's been having a zoomie so wasn't expecting it when she jumped up.

Moonpie6 · 07/05/2024 23:02

Your life sounds absolutely unbearable. You have had 14 years of hell.

One day you will be OK and look back at this a sorry chapter.

Reading the comments lots of people have given advice, so I will say I hope you remember how strong you are. You must be to have put up with all this.

He's nothing but a tiny bully who is weak and pathetic.

Runnerinthenight · 07/05/2024 22:57

Moonpie6 · 07/05/2024 22:57

No my cat jumped on me before I finished

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😁bloody cats! (I love them, I have three)

Runnerinthenight · 07/05/2024 22:57

Please take your stuff and get out tonight, while he's in custody. And tell the police everything. Stay in a Premier Inn if you have to, but just get out of there!

Moonpie6 · 07/05/2024 22:57

Runnerinthenight · 07/05/2024 22:56

What?!! Is that your helpful contribution?!

Show quote history

No my cat jumped on me before I finished

Runnerinthenight · 07/05/2024 22:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

What?!! Is that your helpful contribution?!

cherish123 · 07/05/2024 22:56

You need to split up with him. He has no right to say what you do with YOUR money. Why does ge not earn? How does he support himself? Does he get benefits?

Moonpie6 · 07/05/2024 22:55

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Italianita · 07/05/2024 22:52

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Runnerinthenight · 07/05/2024 22:51

Oh god, this is right up there with some of the most awful things I've read on here! Sweetheart, you need to get away from him! He's an abusive, lazy bastard! Do you have anyone in real life you can turn to? I can't believe you have tolerated this for 14 years. It's so far from normal. It's sick. Please please please get yourself out of this xx

ArmchairPhycologist · 07/05/2024 22:48

Holy fuck you were so unreasonable to put up with this shit for 14 years! You deserve so much better.

LittleGlowingOblong · 07/05/2024 22:48

You’re being very brave @Maccaj78 and I wish you well. 💐
Think about making a Clare’s Law application too. How old is your abusive partner?