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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

SiL and friend keep commenting on my age.

215 replies

SpringOnionChicken · 07/05/2024 08:18

I am in a group of friends (some nicer than others!) and one of them keeps commenting on my age. I’m the oldest, and we range from late 40’s to early 50’s. I’m 4 years older than her. She says things like;

Oh, God you’re so old
Not sure I want to hang out with elderly people

Then there is my SiL who constantly refers to the fact I am 5 years older than her. Things like;

You are much older than me
I’m much younger than you
Well, that’s because you are a lot older than me, I’m only 48, and you are 53

This has been going on a long time, and usually I don’t care but recently it’s pissing me off, because I feel they’ve dug deep, had to think long and hard, and this is the only thing they’ve been able to come up with as a stick to prod me with. The friend said it quite maliciously TBH.

Getting down to their level, my SIL has the misfortune of ageing terribly and has had to drop loads of money on cosmetic surgery to fix it. She’s also never run for a bus, and is very unfit. I’ve been asked a few times if my SIL is my DH’s older sister (he’s 5 years older) and if she is older than me. Friend is also not looking so great. Sorry to stoop to their level of year 8 schoolyard.

My age is not an issue to me. I’m grateful I’m fit and healthy and I don’t need any tweakments. I just think these comments are petty, and am thinking of nipping them in the bud with some comebacks.

AIBU? If no, please give me some ideas to shut them up.

OP posts:
cheddercherry · 07/05/2024 09:54

“I know, Jenny couldn’t believe I was older than you! Better start with amping up if you want to look this good at my age hey?”

In all serious either take a step back from them or just act completely baffled as if what they’ve said is nonsense, or mishear them. Just don’t give them your energy when they’re obviously trying to wind you up.

MermaidEyes · 07/05/2024 09:19

I'd reply "I know, and isn't it funny because I look so much younger than you? You really need to invest in some anti aging creams hun"

BigMandyHarris · 07/05/2024 08:59

I find having the same response, on repeat helps.

You then don’t have to keep thinking of a new reply and they soon realise that they’re mentioning it too much.

VestibuleVirgin · 07/05/2024 08:54

Christ's sake, leave the group
Whatsapp groups are just playground-level intelligence. Bitchy, childish, and a font of many MN posts.
Women can be so bitchy to each other

Aquamarine1029 · 07/05/2024 08:53

Stop spending your time with arseholes.

RubySloth · 07/05/2024 08:51

I know, people normally think its the other way around.

CrotchetyQuaver · 07/05/2024 08:44

I'm a bit older than you and ageing quite well. I would find that so tedious I'd have to say something. I'd be quite blunt if necessary too, you're in "frenemy" territory going by their comments.

Pinkypinkyplonk · 07/05/2024 08:42

It’s a privilege to get here, I hope you do!!

Revelatio · 07/05/2024 08:39

Don’t stoop to her level of jibes and passive aggressive comments. Just say, ‘oh thank you’ every time she says it. Act like it’s a huge compliment. She’ll then struggle to explain that she’s actually not meaning it as compliment and trying to insult you.

Krakken · 07/05/2024 08:36

How tedious. You could explain to her that you don't know why she keeps bringing it up as we all age so the most important thing is how we age. You're happy to be feeling fit and well.

NeverEnoughPants · 07/05/2024 08:32

Get better people in your life!!

I'm 52 and have friends much younger and much older than I am, and age is rarely mentioned.

I would laugh and say 'yeah, I was speaking to someone the other day who was really surprised to discover you were actually younger than me!'

Mnetcurious · 07/05/2024 08:30

Say exactly what you said here - my age is not an issue to me, I’m glad I’m fit and healthy and happy in my own skin. Can we move on now as it feels like you’re always making comments about my age. Or just “oh not the age thing again!”

Pottedpalm · 07/05/2024 08:30

‘I know! It’s crazy, I’m so much older and daft ‘Suzy’ thought you were older than me!! Lol! ‘

AgentJohnson · 07/05/2024 08:29

Yes, I am older and don’t I look fabulous! Take their negativity and turn it into a positive.

They are broadcasting their insecurities, they will be more annoyed by you giving zero fucks.

BruceAndNosh · 07/05/2024 08:20

Yes I am much more mature than you since you dole out insults like a 5 year old

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