SiL and friend keep commenting on my age.

"There you go, mentioning age again! You'll have to be careful or I'll start thinking that you've got a bit of a thing about ageing!" tinkly laugh
If you're feeling very bitchy, you could say that last bit whilst letting your eyes flit to their very obvious botox/fillers.

Sorry for your loss @Daisybuttercup12345
I turned 56 this year, the same age at which my mum passed away 23 years ago. You are absolutely right, there are no guarantees.

As for your SIL @SpringOnionChicken ask who does her cosmetic procedures then say thanks for that now I know who NOT to go to.

It sounds as though they think it’s little jokes that you don’t mind (only true if you join in) or that they’re insecure about their own aging (more likely). I would say “ok that’s enough thanks” and ignore/move the conversation on every time. You are not insecure like them so don’t need to regress to their level

Sorry, these replies are making me giggle.

How about "Honestly, didn't you leave nasty comments like that in the Infant school playground?", @SpringOnionChicken

Do you have to spend time with them? They sound unpleasant and critical.

As PP's have said - the alternative to getting older isn't preferable!

I would go grey rock on this - have a standard non-retaliatory response that I roll out every time.
"Yes thanks Pam, I'm 53 and a quarter".

It's irritating, but hard to call out without stooping to their level. I'm wondering if "why does my age matter to you", exactly the same words every single time might work. Or maybe "my age appears to matter to you more than it does to me". Something along those lines. Making it clear that you don't care about your age and you think it's odd that they keep bringing it up.

Agree! I am 33 and one of my best friends is 53 (and she is way more fun than I am hahaha). I also have another brilliant friend aged 24 (way more sensible than both of us combined!).
Age is a number. Your SIL is an idiot.

‘God you talk about age a lot. Are you worried?’ Tinkly laugh😉

I know! And aren't I aging well? 😉

Yeah this. ^

Keep emphasizing how much older she looks @SpringOnionChicken and how someone thought you were her daughter! 😆

She is clearly pissed off, and bitter and angry - because you look amazing, and she looks like a bag of spanners! And you are GASP! older than her!

My friend was younger than me.
She died a few weeks ago (cancer).
Tell your sil and friend life is not a race and there are no guarantees.

Definitely ask for her cosmetic surgeon's details! also stop seeing her if possible. she sounds awful

Yes SIL, I'm 53 and still haven't any need for cosmetic surgery! If that time ever comes I shall call on you first, what with the vast experience of anti-aging treatments you have..

It’s quite childish.

But a few years ago, I started in a job where the main woman there (about 10 years older than me) was desperately trying to cling onto her youth and it was embarrassing in lots of ways. Then either in her late 40s or at 50 her younger son suddenly became a very surprise first
time father and I think she’d hoped he’d waited rather than had the baby early.

We’d fallen out by then (very small and toxic office) and one day she either showed me or told me she’d got a “welcome to grandma’s house” artisan sign in the post which none of her friends were owning up sending to her, she assumed it was me being catty. I assured her (she didn’t believe me!) it wasn’t me. But obviously one of her friends was fed up of her Peter Pan act.

She then embraced the glam grandma role to the full.

Best thing to do would to briefly pause, make eye contact then carry on with unrelated conversation.

I know someone who was recently asked if she was the DGM of her DNiece - she's only 5 years older that her DB, the DN's father! (Who was there at the time...) But there is both an appearance and an attitude element to it.

As previous posters have said just yes I know and crazy that everyone thinks you're older than me. Can you believe x thought you were older than dh then laugh.

”you know what they say, it’s not how old you are, it’s how old you look.”

Agree with the pretending it's a compliment and thanking them. Take the wind out of their sails.

"I know, I keep forgetting I'm actually older than you!"
"Oh I am aren't I! ...I hope I don't look it!"

Don't go down the ageist comments route, it isn't healthy for any of you. It reinforcs that there is a issue with women aging. Be straight and blunt, that they are being ridiculous, you ate still their peer group and outright ask them if they want to talk about what's bothering them about aging because you are at the zero fucks stage of life. Have you gone through the menopause and they are peri? Peri can be an anxiety inducing time and it suddenly dawns that you've got less time to live, than you've been alive.

Yes, I don’t get the constant references, all of my friends bar one are older than me, my two good friends one 8 and 9 years older, I don’t think it’s ever been mentioned except by one friend on one occasion where she was discussing TV we watched as teenagers and she said that she didn’t have a clue what I was on about.

Next time they say ‘yeah you’re much older’ say ‘When’s your next dose of Botox then Janice?’