SiL and friend keep commenting on my age.

You could just respond with, "And?"

And if they say again they don't know if they can hang out wit you because you're so old, just say, "Don't then. See ya."

I know....same age as Pamela Anderson / Halle Berry / Salma Hayek / Kim Cattrall / Michelle Pfeiffer / Lucy Liu / Jennifer Lopez ..... insert name of any other glamorous woman whos aging well .... arent I in good company!!!

Oh, God you’re so old
And...?

Not sure I want to hang out with elderly people
Then don't/Feel free to not/Piss off then

Then there is my SiL who constantly refers to the fact I am 5 years older than her. Things like;

You are much older than me/I’m much younger than you
What exactly do you expect me to do about that?

Well, that’s because you are a lot older than me, I’m only 48, and you are 53
So?

Followed by Fuck off

But then I'm lots older than you and I wouldn't want anything to do with either of them at all

I’m 60. When my kids or family tease me about my age I just say, yes I’m old, and if you’re lucky you’ll get to this age too. It always shuts them down.

Yes, I am so glad to be aging… since the alternative is death

Kill it with kindness and faux concern for her -

"Susie, you've made a few comments about our ages recently. I wonder, are you worried about the fact we're all getting older?"

"Susie, you've mentioned our ages again. Is this bothering you?"

"Susie, do you think it matters that I'm 4 years older than you? I've noticed that no one else mentions it. It doesn't trouble me at all, but I'm a bit concerned that it bothers you so much. I wonder what makes it important to you"

Tell the others in the group that you're worried about her as she seems to have such an issue with something that's of no consequence

And when she claims she was just joking -

"but Susie, I don't think you were joking. You've raised it so many times"

"but you know I'm just a few years older than you. There's nothing funny in that. I'm worried that you have an issue with it"

"so, tell me then, what's funny about me being older than you?"

"OK, well I don't find it too funny myself, so I'd prefer that you stop. Are you OK with that?"

It would be a really good response! Give it out with a nicest smile you have.
It will shut her up for sure, just keep the smiling on.

This^

Brilliant idea!

“Oh I had a little bet with myself about how long it would take you to point out my age, and I was right, it was within the first 15 minutes.”

"She says things like;

Oh, God you’re so old
Not sure I want to hang out with elderly people

Then there is my SiL who constantly refers to the fact I am 5 years older than her. Things like;

You are much older than me
I’m much younger than you"

Sorry this can't be real? There cannot be women in their 40s and 50s who talk like this?

Just say it's the age you look, not the age you are that people notice.

Why do you keep bringing this up?

They are panicking about being 50, is my guess, and saying this as a mantra to themselves ‘I’m still in my 40s….40s…40s…’.

Though the ‘friend’ just sounds stupid, your SIL clearly has issues, and it’s her, not you.

Apply your superior wisdom alongside your fitness and observe their foolishness with some aloofness.

@Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain "What was this late 40’s woman doing to “desperately cling on to her youth”? "

I'm curious about this too. Sometimes people say the most awful things. I worked with a lady in her 50s who cycled to work. She was injured trying to swerve a sudden car accident and was the subject of nasty remarks from my male boss who told her she was too old to cycle anyway. He really meant it. I ended up having words with him 😂

He actually apologised to her. I bet he was well pissed off with his underling saying that to him but I thought he was just jealous and nasty tbh, as well as having a weird fixed idea about what people in their 50s "should" be like.

What was this late 40’s woman doing to “desperately cling on to her youth”? I’m not surprised she thought it was you who sent her the artisan sign as your post does indeed sound catty and judgmental, she then embraced the glam grandma role to the full so what if she did? are women in their late 40’s and early fifties not allowed to be glamorous? Your post comes across as very ageist and that definitely is not a good look.

I'd also be questioning if you have to mix with these people.

in the friend group, what do the other friends think about the comments made by the nasty one?

Who do people like that think they are, insulting their so-called friends or family like that?

Gosh how tedious!
Clearly they are struggling to accept that they are getting older, look at you a few years older than them and are jealous that you don’t seem to share their insecurities.
I wouldn’t bother wasting your free time with these people. True friends don’t try to drag each other down. Most of my friends are older than me. From 5-30 years. We don’t talk about age because it’s irrelevant.

Just reply,

Yes I am older but you wouldn't think so as you look dreadful for your age.

Repeat it every time.

Do you have a friend in the group you could rely on or another relative like a daughter or niece that you could orchestrate a plan with?

I’d have another friend in on it, and next time one of the ugly stepsisters bring up your age the friend needs to swoop in straight away and feign shock/surprise:

’Oh wait WHAT? SIL, you’re the one who’s younger?? I thought it was the other way around.’

‘Oh you’re younger than SpringOnion?? I just always forget as she looks so young.’

‘I’d never think SpringOnion was the oldest of the group, she’s radiant and stunning!!!’ Etc etc etc….

I think I'd be looking for more interesting people to spend my time with.

"There's only 5 years between us, besides, you look a lot older than me!"

I'd just say the exact same thing every time "yeah, ageing is a privilege denied to some..." or "I'm grateful for the years, not everyone gets to my age..." or similar. They can't argue, you don't look arsey but she'll realise how much she mentions it when she hears the same sentiment on repeat. Also remind yourself it's clearly coming from their own insecurity around ageing.