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Original poster

Having to wait for everyone's lifts after work

344 replies

Tired75643 · 06/05/2024 23:50

I'm a team leader in a pub, I regularly work the evening shifts and have to set the alarm and lock up once everyone has finished and left. Generally it'll be me and one other member of staff at the end of the night finishing, some drive home, some (like me) get taxis and wait at the back of the pub.
Recently we've had a couple of new staff start who rely on lifts from parents when they finish, the problem is they are waiting about 20-30 minutes for them once we're finished. Both are younger girls who don't feel safe waiting outside alone, which is understandable. I obviously can't lock the door until they're outside so I have to wait with them but this is adding half an hour onto my shift when I just want to get home and go to bed, my taxi only usually takes 5 minutes to get there.
I talked to the manager about it and his answer was just tell them to wait outside and go....but I really don't want to leave 19 year old girls on their own late at night when they don't feel safe. I also don't want to be waiting at work longer than I need to, unpaid, after a long shift.
I've tried telling them when it looks like they're half an hour away from finishing so they can call their lifts but there always seems to be a delay, and there's no guarantee what time we will finish so they can't set a specific time.
AIBU to ask my manager to either sort
something out with the staff members
or let me stay clocked in until I can actually lock up and find some extra tasks so I'm at least being paid to be there?

OP posts:
Applescruffle · 10/05/2024 09:18

They are adults, not school children. Explain to them that you're sorry you can't wait and go.

Tripeandonions · 10/05/2024 09:13

KTheGrey · 07/05/2024 04:20

If you make them wait outside, they will ask their parents to turn up on time, or get a taxi. You are not obliged to cover for their reluctance to pay for a taxi or their parents' reluctance to turn up on time.

This ^

Nanny0gg · 10/05/2024 09:10

I think being told my DD was waiting outside a pub on her own at a certain time of night would concentrate my mind on getting there 10 minutes earlier.

ClairDeLaLune · 10/05/2024 09:09

That’s ridiculous! You shouldn’t be waiting with them, they’re adults not little kids. My daughter did a similar job and we always made sure we were there to pick her up on time. Because that was our responsibility, as we’d said we’d do it, not her boss’s. If we couldn’t pick her up she’d arrange a taxi.

stichguru · 10/05/2024 09:06

You can't set up a situation and then have a paddy because people's responses to it aren't what you want. Clearly if the parents felt that the girls waiting wasn't ok, they could get there early and read, sew whatever in their cars until the girls were done. They don't seem to feel like this. You can't change that. YOU have set up this situation by deciding the girls don't get to have a set end time. If you want the parents to be there when the girls are done give them a set end time. If you don't want to do that, wait with them if you want to, or not if you don't, but don't criticise the parents for a normal response to a situation YOU have created.

betterangels · 10/05/2024 09:00

Have them wait outside. They're not children, and you're not a babysitter.

MyFirstLittlePony · 10/05/2024 08:30

It totally is between them and their parents

they can wait somewhere else (another bar) or their parents can come early

currently you are an unpaid baby sitter for 19 year olds

they should not have taken the job if they can’t get to and from the job ok

this is a bit like kids pretending to be adults and you are the unpaid facilitator

m00rfarm · 10/05/2024 08:27

If there are two of them it is not an issue. But when one goes, and there is just one left on their own, then yes - that is not good. But it is not your responsibility - it is their responsibility as an adult to sort it out. So make sure they re absolutely aware that one of them will be standing outside on their own at some point (unless the other girl waits with her even after her lift arrives)

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 10/05/2024 08:19

saraclara · 07/05/2024 15:18

They're 19. If this was a p/t job while they were away at uni, they'd sort their own transport and not invasive that their boss would be watching for them.

Exactly. Not like they’re 17 and can’t eg drive yet.

At 19 they are more than capable and should be arranging their own transport plus the fact there’s two of them so depending on where the other lives they can watch out for the other.

It’s actually a bit concerning that they’re expecting you, their boss, to watch for them.

GracefulGrandma · 10/05/2024 08:02

19 is fine to wait outside.

BusyMummy001 · 10/05/2024 07:55

Agree with other posters - the parents will need to be there by closing and potentially have to sit and wait while clearing up if this tuns over. Assuming they are paid until 11pm, the parents should be there by 11.

PyongyangKipperbang · 10/05/2024 01:19

Tired75643 · 06/05/2024 23:50

I'm a team leader in a pub, I regularly work the evening shifts and have to set the alarm and lock up once everyone has finished and left. Generally it'll be me and one other member of staff at the end of the night finishing, some drive home, some (like me) get taxis and wait at the back of the pub.
Recently we've had a couple of new staff start who rely on lifts from parents when they finish, the problem is they are waiting about 20-30 minutes for them once we're finished. Both are younger girls who don't feel safe waiting outside alone, which is understandable. I obviously can't lock the door until they're outside so I have to wait with them but this is adding half an hour onto my shift when I just want to get home and go to bed, my taxi only usually takes 5 minutes to get there.
I talked to the manager about it and his answer was just tell them to wait outside and go....but I really don't want to leave 19 year old girls on their own late at night when they don't feel safe. I also don't want to be waiting at work longer than I need to, unpaid, after a long shift.
I've tried telling them when it looks like they're half an hour away from finishing so they can call their lifts but there always seems to be a delay, and there's no guarantee what time we will finish so they can't set a specific time.
AIBU to ask my manager to either sort
something out with the staff members
or let me stay clocked in until I can actually lock up and find some extra tasks so I'm at least being paid to be there?

Former manager here. Had a similar issue and did the same and then had to drive 45 minutes home. I ended up saying " I am locking up at x time so sort your lifts now". And went home. Hated myself for it but i was barely surviving at that point. Oddly, within a couple of weeks the parents were waiting in the car park when we closed.

BettyBardMacDonald · 09/05/2024 23:29

WhenWillTheSunShineIWonder · 09/05/2024 22:34

Why don’t they have a specific finish time? Then the lift can be prearranged to be there then. It’s not really fair on them to not know what time their shift actually ends.

Because it's the hospitality industry and there are daily variables. The OP has explained this.

Emmz1510 · 09/05/2024 23:12

They are 19! Honestly I would just leave them to it. Or talk to them about it. You could say ‘look girls I don’t really feel comfortable with you standing outside waiting for your lifts but I have to close up by x time and then I need to get home. Can you make sure your lifts are here on time? Then if they don’t, there’s nothing else you can do. You’ve made your position clear but ultimately it’s not your responsibility.

Notamum12345577 · 09/05/2024 22:58

thirtyseven37 · 07/05/2024 00:17

Firstly, they are WOMEN not girls.
Secondly, if they or their parents don't want them waiting around outside for half an hour then the parents need to get there earlier.

I was scrawling through looking for the first ‘they aren’t girls’ post 😁

ButterCrackers · 09/05/2024 22:56

Go when your shift has ended. Their lifts will arrive on time once they’ve had to wait outside. It’s not your problem. They have phones so they can call for help in an emergency.

Mrsgus · 09/05/2024 22:53

They don't feel safe waiting outside a pub they work in for a short period of time? Bloody hell where is it, in the middle of no-where? Surely they go out at that age and probably stay out a lot later than a normal pub's shut tap hours 🤷‍♀️

WhenWillTheSunShineIWonder · 09/05/2024 22:34

Why don’t they have a specific finish time? Then the lift can be prearranged to be there then. It’s not really fair on them to not know what time their shift actually ends.

Newestname002 · 09/05/2024 14:26

@Tired75643

I think I'm going to send them both a message and let them know from next week I won't be waiting to lock up, I'll wait outside with them for my taxi, but then I'll be off and fingers crossed they won't try and push it

What will you say/do if they ask you to give them a lift in your taxi? Need to be prepared for that possible eventuality. 🌹

TheBestEverMouse · 09/05/2024 11:14

Tired75643 · 07/05/2024 13:49

Trying to catch up with all the comments but I'm glad to see I'm not wrong to be fed up with it.
My post wasn't very clear, apologies, its two different women but on different days so it would be one waiting alone.
I think on my days off the other team leader locking up drives so she gives them a lift. I suspect parents may have been lead to believe they would be able to get lift some more often.
Its tricky because I've wanted to balance welcoming new team and being friendly etc but I've obviously been a but too nice about it.
One in particular has been very vocal about not feeling safe waiting outside, the last time I really pushed and said I need to lock and go she looked really worried and started talking about different scenarios and safety issues etc. Rightly pointing out that any creeps she may have served could hang around for leaving time etc, young women have it drilled into them that it isn't safe to be alone at night which is why I haven't wanted to force the issue, it just isn't my issue to solve.

As some have pointed out unfortunately with bar work there just isn't a set time, most days it is around the safe time frame but if you've got 10 tables left at kick out time it is going to take longer.
I think I'm going to send them both a message and let them know from next week I won't be waiting to lock up, I'll wait outside with them for my taxi, but then I'll be off and fingers crossed they won't try and push it

It sounds like these staff are treating you like a parent in lieu. Expecting you to 'look after' them until you hand them over to their actual parents is unreasonable. They are your staff not your children. They have parents who are 'letting them down' by not turning up on time. That's on them and their parents not you. They are happy you wait around for them rather than the parents waiting. That's not your job. That's theirs as parents.

Seaofdreams942 · 09/05/2024 11:04

If they were male, would you be waiting outside with them for the parents to arrive to give lifts ?

Tell them that you will be locking up, taxi, home

It is not your responsibility to wait with them

They text for a lift before the end of their shift

They are 19, not 16 !

Problemzapper · 09/05/2024 10:33

You are very kind and considerate, worrying about their welfare - too kind and obliging. Do as your manager advised, tell them to wait outside. They will then get the message that they have to organise themselves better, they are not anyone else's responsibility (technically not even their parents now they are over 18) so ought to factor in costs of reliable taxi's home instead of putting out you or their parents - or get another part time job which finishes in day time if they feel vulnerable at night.

If their parents aren't comfortable with them waiting for a taxi outside pub after work they can pick them up earlier, it's up to them to decide what to do, don't allow it to continue to be your problem.

bumsnetto · 09/05/2024 08:58

If the last bus had gone, i had no choice but to ask for a lift with the Romanian guy who also worked there, at least a mile down the road so that I could reasonably walk home.

laraitopbanana · 09/05/2024 08:56

Longtimelurkerfinallyposts · 06/05/2024 23:56

If they feel unsafe waiting outside, they need to tell their parents that, and ask them to arrive a bit earlier. What's the problem if the parents arrive before the girls finish their shifts? Can't they wait in their cars for them if necessary?

That really.

it is to the parent to be there on time and to be sure their kid is safe. Saying that, if they don’t, it is up to you to decide to stay or not.
you are being unreasonable to ask your manager to pay for it.
i would stay until everyone is gone too.

i think the girls here are a bit taking the mick playing « I am not safe » & « I won’t make any changes, you have to protect me ». They are 19!!

Jewel52 · 09/05/2024 08:53

KTheGrey · 07/05/2024 04:20

If you make them wait outside, they will ask their parents to turn up on time, or get a taxi. You are not obliged to cover for their reluctance to pay for a taxi or their parents' reluctance to turn up on time.

This. I don’t understand why you think you have more responsibility for these girls than their actual parents? Lock up when you’re ready to go, they wait outside and they’ll make way more effort to get their lifts there on time.