DH got drunk with my daughter(his stepdaughter) and her friend

I agree. The 9 mo old should be in bed earlier..starting at 9pm is ludicrous late. There should be zero underage drinking of alcohol on a sleepover. There should also be zero drunkeness of parents at home, especially when responsible for a sleepover!

If you're going to let your 14 or 15yo daughter drink, YOU should be supervising, you're her parent, not an unrelated male who happens to live there. I'm sure that's what her friend's parents would have expected of you too since you're the one talking to them.

I find it difficult to believe that your young one's bedtime was so tricky that you didn't have the opportunity to notice what was happening downstairs for HOURS. Either way, presumably your DH is the father of the baby and could have dealt with him while you looked after the girls.

You were irresponsible letting them drink in the first place (and continually trying to blame it on the friend's parent, like you have no will of your own!) and you were more irresponsible not to supervise properly.

Neither you or your DH sound like responsible parents. You couldn't know this, you couldn't know that. How about you not let kids drink in your house?? You've put so much energy into not telling us how old they are. Maybe some of that focus could've been directed towards better decision making around kids and alcohol. Just a thought...

Not ideal but there is a big range of depth of questioning that may have happened. Also it could have been a rant from him or a conversation that was quite light. Probably let it go.

Well it’s time to prioritise your children. I can’t believe hers still there.

@Firefightress1 i couldnt of exactly helped being randomly logged out of my other account. and no i admit wrong doing in providing any alcohol and trust DH to supervise like a sane human theres not really an excuse for that

Is this for real? 2 posters.... excuses galore.

I hope not

@Stripeysocks1981 I actually have something going on tomorrow to basically push leaving forward. i have tried leaving in the past but i basically got harassed till i went back to him so

@Dweetfidilove hi yea i defo see that perspective, i shouldve defo checked, drinking was only ever allowed because my daughter had drank with them before and they had also directly gave the okay.

More grooming than Buckingham Palace Stables.
Protect your daughter and her friend.

What are you doing to leave?
He is showing red flags that he’s grooming your daughter-if I were you I would be packing his bags and removing him immediately so he has no access to your kids. Is there a reason you are unable to do that?

My daughter wouldn’t be allowed near your home after this incident, but I also wouldn’t have been authorising drinking of any kind to begin with ☹️.

You both sound unsafe to me - drinking/ disappearing/ inappropriate company- nah😔

So he's let your daughter drink a reasonable amount more than you had agreed to. Then discussed paedophilia with her and her friend.

Whether it was right or wrong for you to allow them to have a drink in the first place, he has definitely crossed a line here. It sounds like he's a creep, I just don't understand how any grown man could think this is acceptable behaviour.

I have to add I do know many parents who allow their teenagers to have the occasional drink. Especially with drinks such as WKD and I don't personally think that is an horrendous thing to do, like lots of others seem to. I, however would definitely not allow this to happen under your DH's supervision ever again. In fact, I'd want him away from teenagers!

YABU the whole situation just seems mad

Oh. Well, this just cements it. Abuse and control? Leave/kick him out. Protect the kids.

😆

Creepiest stepdad ever. I’d honestly leave him for this behaviour.

@Stripeysocks1981 hi! past issues are things such as emotional abuse and control, i am under things to get help and leave basically.

What other issues have you had?
The consensus here has been pretty overwhelmingly in agreement that it’s creepy as hell. How do you plan to deal with it?

He’s be out on his ear if that were me . No idea why you were giving them alcohol .. just because everyone else does it in your area doesn’t mean you have to .. your DH sounds like he behaved like a creepy predator .. but then I’m waiting for the drip feed of other things happening

@Tourmalines hi! this is op on another acc as i was logged out. upon reflection i totally see the point of alcohol should of never been gave to them.

@Stripeysocks1981 hi! this is op on another acc as i got logged out of that one. ive been with him 10 years, and we definitely have a lot of issues but never anything like this, this may be because i have never before allowed my daughter to drink up until this weekend.

Not sure why they needed to have a drink of alcohol at all . It’s not like they were at a function or anything like that . So it’s just a drink at home for the fun of it . They are too young for that , regardless if it’s only one even . You and your husband both acted irresponsible .

OP how long have you known this man? I feel like not long at all. You KNOW his behaviour is a massive red flag. Trying to be the “cool” adult with young teenage girls. I’m honestly horrified reading this. You know the answer to your questions or you wouldn’t be here.

He got drunk, tried to get her drunk, talked to her about adults raping children and made her very uncomfortable. He wouldn't be staying near my daughter another night.